103 result(s) for Funny Sweatshirt Quotes.
"I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode."
"I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right."
"Decaf? No thanks, I'm not a quitter."
"If I were funny, I’d have a better sweatshirt."
"I’m actually a unicorn in disguise."
"I'm not short, I'm fun-sized!"
"This is my happy face."
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"Sweatpants are all that fits me right now."
"I'm like a butterfly: pretty to see, but hard to catch."
"Saturdays are for the boys."
"My winter wardrobe consists of hoodies and sweatpants."
"I can't keep calm, I'm a teacher."
"I don’t need a hair stylist. My pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning."
"In my defense, I was left unsupervised."
"Life is too short to wear boring clothes."
"If we’re not supposed to eat midnight snacks, why is there even a light in the fridge?"
"Napping is a sport. I'm on a team."
"I don’t sweat, I sparkle!"
"I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it."
"I’m not lazy, I’m just on my energy-saving mode."
"If only I had extra pockets for all my snacks."
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"I came. I saw. I made it awkward."
"I’m just a girl, standing in front of a salad, asking it to be a donut."
"Sweater weather is better together."
"I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong."
"Today’s forecast: 100% chance of coffee."
"If we weren’t supposed to eat midnight snacks, why is there even a light in the fridge?"
"You can't make everybody happy. You're not a taco."
"I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already."
"I don’t need a gym; I get enough exercise pushing my luck."
"My bed is a magical place I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do."
"I can’t believe I still have to place a 'Do Not Disturb' sign on my front door."
"I’m on a roll… of sushi."
"I can’t adult. I’m in a permanent state of distracted."
"Be a donut in a world of plain bagels."
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"Count the memories, not the calories."
"I put the 'Pro' in procrastinate."
"If you can’t make it better, you can laugh at it."
"I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already."
"I'm just here to avoid friends on Facebook."
"I have a good heart but this mouth..."
"I'm reading a book on anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!"
"I'm not fat, I'm just easier to see."
"My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do."
"I would lose weight, but I hate losing."
"Snooze, you lose."
"My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch... I call it lunch."
"I don't need a hair stylist; my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning."
"Pizza is my spirit animal."
"Dear sleep, I’m sorry we broke up this morning. I want you back!"
"Today’s forecast: 100% chance of winning!"
"I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge."
"Brains are awesome. I wish everybody had one."
"I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right."
"I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it."
"I followed my heart and it led me to the fridge."
"Sometimes I pretend to be normal, but it gets boring. So I go back to being me."
"I’m a mess, but I’m a hot mess."
"Out of my mind. Back in five minutes."
"If you can’t laugh at yourself, I’ll do it for you."
"Exercise? I thought you said extra fries!"
"I’m multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time."
"I’m not short, I’m fun-sized!"
"I would agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong."
"Sassiness is my superpower."
"I don’t need an alarm clock. I have a toddler."
"My brain has too many tabs open."
"I’m not always sarcastic. Sometimes I’m sleeping."
"I told my therapist about you."
"If you think I’m crazy, you should see my friend."
"I can’t adult today. Please don’t make me."
"I’m silently correcting your grammar."
"Procrastination is my middle name."
"Today’s forecast: 100% chance of sarcasm."
"I’m not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing."
"I don’t need a hairstyle. I need a personality."
"Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth."
"My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch. I call it lunch."
"I can't adult today. Please don't make me."
"Sweatpants are a sign of defeat. You lost control of your life so you bought some sweatpants."
"I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it."
"I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode."
"If you can't find me, it's probably because I'm in my hoodie."
"I have enough clothes and shoes. I don’t need to go shopping,” said no one ever."
"I don't need an inspirational quote. I need coffee."
"My hoodie brings all the boys to the yard."
"This is my 'I don’t care' sweatshirt."
"Naps are the best kind of workout."
"I'm just a girl standing in front of a salad asking it to be a donut."
"Wake me up when it's Friday."
"Running late is my cardio."
"Snooze button? I prefer the 'five more minutes' button."
"I came. I saw. I took a nap."
"I'm not weird, I'm limited edition."
"Stress: The confusion created when one’s mind overrides the body’s basic desire to choke the living daylights out of some jerk who desperately deserves it."
"Coffee: because adulting is hard."
"Exercise? I thought you said 'extra fries'!"
"Just because you're awake doesn't mean you should stop dreaming."
"I’m the reason I’m late to everything."
"I'm multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time."
"Dear nap, I'm sorry I was rude to you when I was a kid."
"Who needs a therapist when you can just buy a cozy sweatshirt?"
"Happiness is wearing a cozy sweatshirt and eating snacks."
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