130 result(s) for Mr. Burns Quotes.
"I’ll show them! I’ll show them all!" "
"The difference between a pigeon and a economist is that the pigeon can put down a deposit on a BMW."
"I don’t want to live on this planet anymore."
"In this house, we obey the laws of thermodynamics!"
"I have been a bad, bad boy."
"You’ll see. You’ll all see!"
"The secret to happiness is to ignore everything."
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"Those who are wise never take a chance. It's those who are foolish who leave their fate to chance."
"Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand."
"Ah, the old 'I've been robbed' routine! Classic!"
"You know, you could be on the cover of 'Science Digest' if you ever found a way to rob someone without them knowing it."
"Life’s a banquet, and most poor suckers are starving to death!"
"I’m not a monster! I’m just a man in a suit!"
"Oh, you’re just like all the other miserable, scheming, backstabbing little brats."
"By the power vested in me, I hereby declare this day’s events legally a non-event."
"We’re not pompous, we’re just better than you."
"I can’t label it. I don’t do labels. That would limit my versatility!"
"Amazing how the mood can change within one simple action!"
"I could have been a contender!"
"Oh, to be young and have money!"
"I just don't want to be a doormat, you understand?"
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"I’m not out of touch; I'm just old-fashioned."
"Is it too late for me to go to hell?"
"Why would I need to carry cash? I’m Mr. Burns!"
"This is unacceptable! I demand to speak to a supervisor!"
"I don’t need a license to be a registered sex offender."
"The three Rs: Reading, Riting, and Route 66!"
"I am Mr. Burns, I have a great deal of respect for the people who belong to the company, whether they know it or not."
"There’s nothing more important than your health... except for your money."
"I've always wanted to be a part of something bigger. Like a cult."
"You’re fired! No, I mean it this time. You’re really fired!"
"I’d give my right arm to be ambidextrous!"
"Oh, I’m sorry, did I break your concentration?"
"I could take a bath in this stuff! It’s my favorite! They never should have shut it down."
"You know, it's customary to make a toast at a wedding. So here’s to the ladies! Especially one lady in particular, who I have no idea why she’s here."
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"I love the smell of commerce in the morning!"
"Smithers, I'm so happy I could just die!"
"As if the I.R.S. could ever catch me!"
"I don't know how to put this, but... I'm kind of a big deal."
"Let me be perfectly clear: I’m not interested in anything that will make me bankrupt!"
"I’m going to give you a chance to make things right–and by ‘make things right’ I mean make a financial contribution to my campaign."
"I’m a millionaire! A millionaire! I’m rich!"
"If it weren't for you meddling kids, I would have gotten away with it too!"
"This is how I get my energy: I just sneak into the power plant and absorb its life force!"
"I can’t believe I let a boy ruin my life!"
"We’re all in this together. Except for you, Smithers."
"The only reason I can be so successful is because I’m not afraid of failure."
"Ah, it’s like a dream. I’ll buy that dream!"
"I’d give anything to have a heart!"
"This is another fine mess you've gotten me into, Smithers!"
"I’m not a monster; I’m just a businessman."
"You can't make a half sandwich."
"I am going to make you so happy, you'll forget about the rest of your life."
"The price is wrong, Bob!"
"The only thing I can't complain about is complaining."
"To me, the most important thing is honor, integrity, and a good pizza."
"I don't have a cow, I have a whale."
"Aren't you a little old to be playing with dolls?"
"Smithers, what's the matter with the world?"
"I’ll be the judge of that!"
"Get out of my office!"
"The money is my wife."
"I can't help but feel a little... pity."
"You see, Smithers, a great man once said, 'The path to power is paved with hypocrisy.'"
"Ah, the sweet smell of success!"
"This is going to be a giant step backwards."
"They're not going to find my master plan. It's hidden well!"
"I'm feeling generous. Smithers, what do you think?"
"I don't need it; it's just a hobby."
"If we didn't have a future, where would our past go?"
"You’re a genius, Smithers!"
"Ah, the good life — money, power, and um, more money."
"I could hire a hundred people to tell me I'm wonderful."
"There’s nothing more important than your work… except your family!"
"All I want is a little respect."
"I can't be the villain in my own story!"
"I can be a monster. But I can also be benevolent."
"I’ll be honest with you, I’m not one to care about the little things. Just the big things, like profit."
"The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why."
"I don’t need the money. I have no debts, and I don’t owe anything to anyone."
"They’re not dead, they’re just resting."
"I’m not a monster; I’m just an unethical business man."
"Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?"
"Ah, the sweet smell of success. Or is that just a malfunctioning oil pipe?"
"I am going to give the greatest performance of my life!"
"Just remember, you’re not a loser until you quit trying."
"The best part about being rich is that you can afford to be a jerk."
"I can't tell you how much I love money!"
"Oh, there's always a chance! There's always a chance things can go wrong."
"If you’re going to be crazy, you have to get paid for it or else you’re going to be locked up."
"A little bit of fear can light the fire of productivity!"
"There's nothing wrong with a little bit of friendly competition!"
"If I could just be rid of those pesky morals..."
"Take it from me: Money cannot buy happiness, but it's much more comfortable to cry in a Mercedes than on a bike."
"Your job is to make me money, and I pay you to do that."
"What good is a little cut if it doesn’t bleed?!"
"Wealth is its own reward. It’s the only thing that matters!"
"Don't be so sour, Smithers, you know what they say: 'Money makes the world go 'round!'"
"I’ll take my chances. I’ll take them all!"
"The secret to a good life is to retire early and live like a king."
"To be powerful is to be feared – and to be feared brings me much joy!"
"Nothing gives me greater pleasure than watching my enemies squirm."
"It's a miracle! I'm still rich!"
"I’m rich! Rich! I can’t be caught!"
"I don't want to live on this planet anymore."
"Ah, the sweet smell of engagement in the morning!"
"You couldn’t put a price on the happiness I feel right now!"
"I’m Mr. Burns. I own this town. And all of you are welcome to leave."
"You call this a nightmare? I call it a Wednesday!"
"Smithers, I don't want to be a millionaire. I just want to be rich."
"I’m not a bad guy, I’m just a businessman."
"The only thing better than a million dollars is two million dollars."
"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive."
"It's a free country, and I can do anything I want! Except for that."
"I have a plan so cunning, you could put a tail on it and call it a weasel."
"I will not be ignored!"
"I've got a good feeling about this. I don't think this is going to end in disaster."
"I’ll be in my office if anyone needs me, not that anyone ever does."
"Excellent!"
"You know, you can’t put a price on a good KISS."
"I did it all for the money."
"Why are you playing this ridiculous game?"
"I’m not doing anything illegal; I’m just leveraging law to my advantage."
"Those who can’t learn from history are doomed to repeat it."
"Some might say I'm cynical… I prefer realist."
"The secret to running a successful business is to remember your customers are not your friends."
"To be a wealthy man, you must be very sociable. But I’m more of a hermit."
"I’ll buy you a steak dinner, if you promise to make your point quickly."
"As a wise man once said, ‘never let the truth get in the way of a good story’!"
"I cannot emphasize how much I envy you right now."
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