Memorable Funny Sad Quotes

127 result(s) for Funny Sad Quotes.
"It’s a shame to see people wasting time. But it’s even more of a shame to see them do it without laughter."
Unknown
"Life is like a sewer… what you get out of it depends on what you put into it."
Tom Lehrer
"I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right."
Unknown
"I’m finally at a place in my life where I can say: I’m too old for this."
Unknown
"The key to happiness is to be happy with yourself. If you can’t do that, well, good luck!"
Unknown
"You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?"
Steven Wright
"I have all the time in the world to be myself. Unfortunately, I’m never myself."
Unknown
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"Behind every great man, there is a woman rolling her eyes."
Jim Carrey
"I think it’s good to be a little sad sometimes; it makes the funny moments even funnier."
Unknown
"I am extraordinarily patient, provided I get my own way in the end."
Margaret Thatcher
"Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth."
Unknown
"It's hard to be a writer today. With all my life experiences, I can’t even write a grocery list without becoming existential."
Unknown
"I used to be a people person, but people ruined that for me."
Unknown
"I’m on the patch to health, but there are donuts everywhere!"
Unknown
"I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy-saving mode."
Unknown
"I can’t believe I spent most of my life trying to figure out what I was doing wrong, when I could have just been enjoying it."
Unknown
"Why is it that we park on driveways and drive on parkways?"
Unknown
"I told my therapist about my fear of commitment—now we’re married!"
Unknown
"When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye."
Cathy Guisewite
"Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work."
David Letterman
"I don’t know what the future holds, but I do know it probably will not make me feel better about today."
Unknown
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"Nothing is impossible for the person who doesn’t have to do it."
Unknown
"Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most."
Mark Twain
"If you think it’s hard to keep your business running, try keeping your life running!"
Unknown
"I feel like I’m too positive to be distraught, but too negative to be happy."
Unknown
"Sometimes I wish I could be a kid again. Skinned knees are easier to fix than broken hearts."
Unknown
"I’m not arguing; I’m just explaining why I’m right and you’re wrong."
Unknown
"To be happy, you must be a little sad; otherwise, you do not appreciate the happiness."
Unknown
"I tried to see things from your point of view, but I can’t get my head that far up my own a**."
Unknown
"Sadness flies away on the wings of time, but time is a cruel joker."
Jean de La Fontaine
"Life is short, and it’s getting shorter. Laughter is the shortest distance between two people. So, laugh before the sadness gets you."
Victor Borge
"Most people would rather be certain they’re miserable than risk being happy."
Robert Anthony
"The road to happiness is paved with the ashes of dead dreams."
Unknown
"I always wanted to be somebody. Now I realize I should have been more specific."
Lily Tomlin
"Good humor is one of the best articles of dress one can wear in society."
William M. Thackeray
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"You can't be brave if you've only had wonderful things happen to you. Sometimes you laugh to keep from crying."
Charles R. Swindoll
"Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back everything is different?"
C.S. Lewis
"I have a tendency to be very, very funny. I just don’t often let it show."
Anna Kendrick
"Life is like a camera. Focus on what’s important. Capture the good times. Develop from the negatives, and if things don’t work out, take another shot."
Unknown
"Of all the words of mice and men, the saddest are, 'It might have been.'"
Kurt Vonnegut
"The only thing worse than being alone is being with someone who makes you feel alone."
Unknown
"I suppose I should say I’m a little sadder than usual for the moment."
Haruki Murakami
"I don’t know what you’re talking about, but I’m sure you’re doing it wrong."
Unknown
"When nothing goes right, go left."
Unknown
"If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you."
Steven Wright
"You cannot be lonely if you like the person you’re alone with."
Wayne Dyer
"Many people think excitement is happiness… But when you are excited, you are not peaceful. True happiness is based on peace."
Thich Nhat Hanh
"I laugh at myself. Then I’m sad at how easy it is."
Unknown
"The saddest thing about betrayal is that it never comes from your enemies."
Unknown
"I think the saddest people always try their hardest to make people happy. Because they know what it feels like to feel absolutely worthless and they don’t want anybody else to feel like that."
Robin Williams
"Laugh, and the world laughs with you; weep, and you weep alone."
Ella Wheeler Wilcox
"I smile because I have no idea what's going on."
Unknown
"The only thing worse than being lonely is being surrounded by people who make you feel lonely."
Unknown
"I'm not sure if I'm depressed or just allergic to everything."
Unknown
"The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces."
Will Rogers
"If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in bed with a mosquito."
Betty Reese
"I live in a constant state of fear and paranoia."
Drew Barrymore
"Behind every great man, there’s a woman rolling her eyes."
Jim Carrey
"I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not too sure."
Unknown
"I'm not a complete idiot; some parts are missing."
Unknown
"The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us."
Bill Watterson
"I told my therapist about my addiction to Twitter; he didn't reply."
Unknown
"I'm so glad we had this time together just to have a laugh or sing a song."
Carol Burnett
"I wonder if I could have a little more time to think about it."
James Thurber
"I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it."
Unknown
"You've got to be careful if you don't know where you are going, because you might not get there."
Yogi Berra
"My therapist said time heals all wounds, so I stabbed him. Now we wait."
Unknown
"Life is what happens to us while we are making other plans."
Allen Saunders
"The road to recovery is always under construction."
Lily Tomlin
"They say laughter is the best medicine, but if you laugh for no reason, you need medicine."
Unknown
"The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."
Steven Wright
"Every time I go on a diet, I eat my own body weight in chocolate chip cookies."
Unknown
"When they hand you that baby, you suddenly realize you’re really in charge of something that matters. And it freaks you out."
Conan O’Brien
"I told my wife her cooking was awful, and she told me to get out of the kitchen. She's such a huge help."
Unknown
"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us."
Bill Watterson
"Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body."
George Carlin
"I’m not great at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?"
Chandler Bing (Matthew Perry)
"The sad truth is that it’s always for the best, even when you’re laughing about it."
Unknown
"It’s not that I’m so smart, it’s just that I stay with problems longer. Sometimes it just makes me sad."
Albert Einstein
"I didn't fail the test. I just found 100 ways to do it wrong."
Benjamin Franklin
"I often feel that I’m the only sane person in a world full of madness. That makes me sad and funny."
Unknown
"A day without laughter is a day wasted, and sometimes, that's pretty sad."
Charlie Chaplin
"I'm not miserable, just entertainingly sad."
Unknown
"Behind every great man, there is a woman rolling her eyes. But sometimes she’s sad."
Jim Carrey
"Everyone is a moon and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody. It’s both funny and sad."
Mark Twain
"I’m not going to let anyone take me down because I’d rather be sad and funny than just sad."
Tina Fey
"I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody, and I wouldn't lose any voters. It's funny because it’s so sad."
Donald Trump
"Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans. Sometimes it’s sad, but mostly it’s funny."
John Lennon
"I have no special talent. I am only passionately curious, which sometimes leads me to sad places."
Albert Einstein
"Life is a tragedy when seen in close-up, but a comedy in long-shot. That’s why it’s both sad and funny."
Charlie Chaplin
"Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious, and sometimes very sad."
Peter Ustinov
"The distance between insanity and genius is measured only by success. It’s both funny and sad why some succeed and some fail."
Bruce Feirstein
"You can’t put a limit on anything. The more you dream, the farther you get. But sometimes those dreams turn sad."
Michael Phelps
"I laugh because I must not cry, that is all, that is all. Sometimes it’s the only way to cope with sadness."
Paul Éluard
"Sadder than you’ll ever realize is the story that remains untold. But it can also be quite funny."
Unknown
"I have a simple philosophy. Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. And scratch where it itches. It’s a funny sad existence."
Alice Roosevelt Longworth
"It’s sad when someone you know becomes a stranger. It’s funny how easily that happens."
Unknown
"If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate. And that can be quite sad, yet humorous."
Henry David Thoreau
"The only thing worse than a bad day is a bad pun. But hey, we laugh to hide the sadness."
Unknown
"I think the saddest people always try their hardest to make people happy. Because they know what it feels like to feel absolutely worthless. It’s funny but tragic."
Robin Williams
"I would rather be a cynic, than a blind optimist. But sometimes the cynicism can leave you feeling sad."
Harlan Ellison
"The only way to get rid of a death wish is to keep laughing at it. That’s a funny sad reality."
Unknown
"The sadness will last forever. But I've always been the funny one."
Marilyn Manson
"Just remember, the world is full of kind people. If you can’t find one, be one. But if you can’t, the world is also full of people who laugh at sad things. You’re not alone!"
Unknown
"I am a deeply superficial person."
Andy Warhol
"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work. But that doesn't mean I have to stop laughing!"
Thomas Edison
"I used to think that I was indecisive, but now I'm not too sure."
Unknown
"I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right. And sad."
Unknown
"Life is too important to be taken seriously."
Oscar Wilde
"The only thing standing between me and total happiness is reality."
David Foster Wallace
"You can't be sad when you're holding a taco."
Unknown
"A day without laughter is a day wasted, especially if you're sad."
Charlie Chaplin
"Behind every great man, there’s a woman rolling her eyes. Possibly laughing at his sadness too."
Jamila Widner
"I'm not just a mess; I'm a whole mess of feelings—mostly sad with a side of humor."
Unknown
"The secret to humor is surprise, especially when it’s sad!"
Aristotle
"I'm not funny. What I am is mean and sad."
Unknown
"Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city—and laughing about it."
George Burns
"When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Then find someone whose life gave them vodka and have a party out of our sadness!"
Ron White
"You don't have to be sad all the time; it's okay to laugh at your own tragedies."
Unknown
"I told my therapist about my depression, and we both laughed about it. It’s a good thing we did, because otherwise we’d both be crying."
Unknown
"The older I get, the less I know, and the better I feel about it...unless I'm sad."
Tommy Lee Jones
"If your ship doesn't come in, swim out to it. But don't forget to laugh while you're swimming, especially if it's cold and sad."
Jonathan Winters
"There’s nothing more entertaining than a sad clown, as long as they know how to joke about it."
Patch Adams
"I realized that I was just an awkward moment waiting to happen - and I laughed at my own sadness."
Unknown
"If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you while being sad."
George Bernard Shaw
"I came to the conclusion that I don't need a therapist; I can laugh at my problems just fine myself!"
Unknown
"It is a good thing for an artist to be alone. It stimulates him. But too much loneliness is depressing. So, make jokes about it!"
Felix Vallotton
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