116 result(s) for Funny Quotes For Grandpa.
"Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter."
"Grandpa is a title just above king."
"I may be a bad influence, but I'm a fun one!"
"You don't stop laughing when you grow old, you grow old when you stop laughing."
"I wish I had a dollar for every time I said 'I'm too old for this.'"
"I can't believe how good I am at being a grandparent!"
"I'm not saying I'm old, but I remember when rainbows were black and white."
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"Old age isn't so bad when you consider the alternative."
"You can't teach a young dog old tricks, but you can teach an old dog new excuses."
"I'm not old, I'm just chronologically gifted."
"I'll be on the porch, waiting for my grandkids to come and visit me. With my lemonade."
"Grandpas: the ones who can make the best joke but can't remember the punchline."
"Retirement is wonderful. It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it."
"Just because you're a grandparent does not mean you have to act like one."
"At my age, I've seen it all, heard it all, and I'm just about to forget it all."
"Grandpas are like stars, you may not see them, but you know they're always there."
"I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity."
"I can’t believe I’m getting so old, but at least my humor is still as sharp as ever!"
"Age is just a number, and mine is unlisted."
"I told my grandkids about the old days, and they thought I needed a therapist."
"The older I get, the more I realize that my mom was right about everything."
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"Some grandpas take their grandkids fishing. I just take them for ice cream!"
"I wouldn't say I’m old, I’m just a classic."
"Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed."
"You're never too old to learn something stupid."
"Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional."
"The older I get, the more I realize that I’m still a kid at heart."
"I'm at an age where my back goes out more than I do."
"I don’t feel old. I feel like a kid, just with some more experience."
"Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you’re through it, you’re still walking around like nothing happened."
"You know you’re getting old when you have more wrinkles than compliments."
"I wish I had a dollar for every time I had a dollar."
"When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it happened or not."
"Of course I talk to myself; sometimes I need expert advice."
"I’ve reached the age where happiness is just the absence of conflict."
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"You’re never too old to be silly."
"I'm just a kid in a grown-up body."
"Getting old is like climbing a mountain; you get a little out of breath, but the view is spectacular."
"Age is not how old you are but how old you feel."
"As I get older, I remember more things that never happened."
"There are three stages of man: infancy, childhood, and "
"I'm so old that my birth certificate says 'expired.'"
"Old people shouldn’t eat health food; they need all the preservatives they can get."
"I don’t want to get to the end of my life and find that I lived just the length of it. I want to have lived the width of it as well."
"I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off."
"Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter."
"I'm at that age where my back goes out more than I do."
"The older I get, the better I was."
"I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap."
"Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you’ve got to start young."
"Grandparents are just antique little kids."
"You’re never too old to learn something stupid."
"Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been."
"I’m so old, I remember when it was just called ‘The Future.’"
"At my age, I’ve seen it all, done it all, heard it all… I just can’t remember it all!"
"The first sign of old age is in the mirror."
"As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe my budding career as a tour guide was not the right choice."
"Old age is when you finally get your head together, but your body doesn't cooperate."
"It's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years."
"You know you’re getting old when the only thing you want for your birthday is not to be reminded of it."
"A good friend will help you move. But a true friend will help you move the body:)"
"We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing."
"Old age comes on suddenly and not gradually as is thought."
"You know you’re getting old when you have to search for your glasses instead of your phone."
"Just remember, once you're over the hill, you begin to pick up speed."
"Life is too short to be serious all the time. So, if you can't laugh at yourself, call me... I'll laugh at you!"
"To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am."
"Age is a question of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter."
"I have a wonderful, happy life and a beautiful family. I've got a great job. I make people laugh, which is what I love to do."
"I'm not aging, I'm marinating."
"A grandpa is someone with silver in his hair and gold in his heart."
"Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most."
"When a grandparent is involved, the youth will shine brighter."
"I'm not a grandpa, I'm a classic!"
"I never knew how much I loved my grandchildren until I had five of them!"
"When in doubt, make a funny face."
"I told my kids I never want to be a burden to them. I decided to eat healthy and exercise because I wanted to live longer. But then I realized, what's the point if they never let me babysit the grandkids?"
"A grandparent is like a candle that lights up a child's life."
"Remember, if you ever need a hand, you’ll find one at the end of each of your arms."
"An old man can make you laugh just by looking what he has done to his hair."
"Every time I see my grandpa, I just smile. He makes me feel like everything is going to be okay."
"The only thing better than having you for a dad is my kids having you for a grandpa."
"Being a grandparent is wonderful. One moment you're just a grandpa, and the next moment you are a superhero."
"Age is merely the number of years the world has been enjoying you."
"You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old."
"There are three kinds of people in the world: people who make it happen, people who watch it happen, and people who wonder what happened."
"Grandfathers are just dads with wrinkles."
"My grandpa said that there is no such thing as an embarrassing fall, as long as you don’t fall on your own feet."
"Some of my best friends have been my grandkids."
"If I knew I was going to live this long, I would have taken better care of myself."
"I can't believe I did all that when I was young! Oh wait, it was a dream! No, that was my life!"
"I told my grandpa that I was going to become a writer. He said, 'That's great, just remember to write for the audience that's going to be paying you!' "
"Grandpa, you don’t need to be smart; just be a good listener and roll with my crazy ideas!"
"Age is merely the number of years the world has been enjoying you. So keep enjoying it!"
"Grandpas are just antique little boys."
"You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake."
"Being a grandparent is like walking in a status report. Everybody wants to hear all about it!"
"We’re all going to die. Keep your sense of humor and enjoy your time here!"
"You can't be old and wise if you were never young and crazy!"
"Sometimes I read old people's names in the newspaper and wonder, 'Did I know them or was I just one of their crazy grandkids?'"
"Grandpa always said that laughter is the best medicine. Unless you're laughing at the doctor; then it's a problem."
"I’m so glad I got to grow up with you. Just think how weird it would have been if I had grown up alone!"
"My grandpa is my favorite comedian. He tells better jokes because he’s been practicing for years!"
"The only time my grandpa gets in trouble is when he forgets which arm to raise when telling the 'I have a great-grandchild' story."
"You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake."
"My grandpa can’t hear very well, but he can definitely talk loud enough to make up for it!"
"Some grandpas wear capes, but mine just wears a funny hat!"
"My grandpa's favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch. It’s called lunch!"
"Old age is like flying in an airplane. You have to expect a few bumps along the way."
"Behind every grandchild is a grandmother who wants to hear all their stories; behind every grandparent is a good laugh!"
"My grandfather was a very simple man; he wanted very little—a good joke and more candy!"
"My grandpa always taught me that the secret to a long life is always creating more memories—and making others laugh!"
"Grandpas are like stars. You don't always see them, but you know they are always up there, laughing at your silly decisions!"
"The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age."
"You know you're over the hill when the girl you’re dating starts to worry about your health."
"If you think you are too old to do something, try it anyway! You're never too old to be kids together!"
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