115 result(s) for Funny Animal Quotes.
"The outside of a horse is good for the inside of a man."
"I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it."
"If you want to be rich, you should start a dog food company."
"The cat could very well be man’s best friend but would never stoop to admitting it."
"If you could kick the person who is the source of all your troubles, you wouldn’t sit for a month."
"The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."
"I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers."
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"I’ve never met a cat I didn’t like."
"I’m not a vegetarian because I love animals; I’m a vegetarian because I hate plants."
"Animals are my friends ... and I don’t eat my friends."
"Some days you’re the dog; some days you’re the hydrant."
"An animal’s eyes have the power to speak a great language."
"The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog."
"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
"If I had a dog as ugly as you, I’d shave its backside and teach it to walk backward."
"I asked the zebra, 'Are you black with white stripes, or white with black stripes?'"
"The only time a dog gets complimented is when he is in a bad mood."
"I used to love dogs until I discovered cats."
"Your dog may not be perfect, but he’s always perfect for you."
"My pet cat is my window to the world; she lets me watch all of humanity’s follies up close."
"Cats are like diaries—only a little more picky about who reads them."
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"Every dog has its day, unless they lose their tail, then they have a weak day."
"Pigs prefer a quiet, sedentary life; it is the humans who have their noses in the dirt."
"I love cats because I enjoy my home; and little by little, they become its visible soul."
"The best way to get rid of the dog is to take the dog for a walk."
"I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals."
"You can’t buy love, but you can rescue it."
"While dogs are our best friends, cats are our best critics."
"If you think dogs can't count, try putting three treats in your pocket and giving Fido only two of them."
"The only thing better than a cat is a second cat."
"I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right… says my cat."
"Some days you’re the dog, some days you’re the hydrant."
"Everything I know, I learned from dogs."
"The cats are in the bag, and the bags are in the river."
"The greatest fear dogs know is the fear that you will not come back when you go out the door without them."
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"A dog can express more with his tail in minutes than his owner can express with his tongue in hours."
"People who don’t like cats must have been mice in a former life."
"The best mirror is an old friend... or a pet."
"In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this."
"If you want to buy a cat, you can’t just go to the pet store and pick one out; you are picked."
"Owning a dog is like being in a relationship with someone who is never ready to commit."
"A cat will tuck its paws under its body before sitting down, as if to say, 'I don't need your approval.'"
"Cats choose us; we don’t own them."
"Elephants are the most interesting animal on the planet, but they have no concept of their own size."
"I wonder if other dogs think silver bells on their collars are obnoxious? "
"My cat is not just a pet, she's my therapist."
"The best things in life are furry."
"Dogs are like fine wine. They all stink after a while."
"I’m suspicious of visionaries and I’m certain they all have cats."
"Even the smallest feline is a masterpiece."
"There's a fine line between a pet and a family member."
"If you want to see the true measure of a man, watch how he treats his dog."
"Cats are designed to teach us that not everything in nature has a function."
"Dogs do speak, but only to those who know how to listen."
"My dog is an awesome dog. He’s my best friend and my only friend."
"If a dog doesn't like you, you probably deserve it."
"I’m not sure if I’m having a midlife crisis, or if I just really want a dog."
"I don’t always chase squirrels, but when I do, I catch them."
"If cats could talk, they wouldn't."
"Sometimes I wonder if the world is flat, and I could just walk off the edge with my dog."
"The only creature that’s always happy to see me is my dog."
"Dogs laugh, but they laugh with their tails."
"When I needed a hand, I found your paw."
"My dog is my favorite therapist."
"Cats are like music. It's foolish to try to explain their worth to those who don't appreciate them."
"The only thing better than having a cat is having two."
"The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."
"Cats are like music. It’s foolish to try to explain their worth to those who don’t appreciate them."
"I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode."
"If you hold a cat by the tail, you learn things you cannot learn any other way."
"I think I've discovered the secret of life — you just hang around until you get used to it."
"Happiness is a warm puppy."
"Every dog has his day, unless he loses his tail, then he has a weak day."
"As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat."
"A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself."
"The cat is the only animal that has managed to domesticate man."
"To err is human, to purr is feline."
"My cat speaks sign language."
"It's not that we spend five days looking forward to just two. It's that most people do what they enjoy most on those two days. Those are the things we live for."
"The best thing about animals is that they don't lie. They are what they are, and they are always what they seem."
"Dogs are like potato chips, you can't have just one!"
"I’ve seen a look in dog’s eyes, a look of canine devotion, that you simply cannot explain."
"I always wondered why birds sang, and I finally realized that it was so they could make you smile."
"There's a fine line between a numerator and a denominator. Only a fraction of you will get this."
"The only thing better than a cat is a dog. Just kidding, both are perfect."
"Never trust a dog to watch your food."
"A cat's purr is the sound of contentment. Nothing can beat that."
"There's nothing funnier than a dog trying to chase its own tail."
"Dogs are the best therapists. They listen without judgment."
"The trouble with a kitten is that eventually it becomes a cat."
"I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult."
"Cats are connoisseurs of comfort."
"If you want to know what a cat is thinking, you can never ask."
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
"The only animal that makes better use of its time than a cat is a dog."
"What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh."
"A cat is a puzzle for which there is no solution."
"My cat is not just a pet. My cat is a therapist, a friend, and a comedian."
"I always wondered why dogs chase their tails. Then I thought, maybe they have the same problem I do."
"The more people I meet, the more I like my dog."
"Why did the chicken join a band? Because it had the drumsticks!"
"You can't have everything. Where would you put it?"
"To err is human—to really foul things up requires a computer."
"In the eyes of a dog, you will see the reflection of your soul."
"I got rid of my husband. The cat was allergic."
"Why do dogs run in circles before they lie down? They’re trying to catch their tails!"
"Cats are like music. It is foolish to try to explain their worth to those who do not appreciate them."
"The only thing better than a dog is two dogs."
"Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!"
"My goal in life is to be as good a person as my dog thinks I am."
"When you are about to be eaten by a tiger, it is of no comfort to say, ‘At least I was right.’"
"I love cats because I enjoy my home; and little by little, they becomeits visible soul."
"The cat has a hundred different voices, and the dog but one; yet that one voice commands our love."
"I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right—and my cat agrees."
"Why did the cat sit on the computer? Because it wanted to keep an eye on the mouse!"
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