110 result(s) for Funny Quotes About Statistics.
"Without data, you're just another person with an opinion."
"The only function of economic forecasting is to make astrology look respectable."
"It is a good thing for an uneducated man to read books of quotations."
"I’ve been called a statistician. I’m not, I’m a writer. Statisticians are terribly boring creatures."
"The math is not the problem. The problem is the stat."
"Statistics may be used manipulative, but they are always interesting, especially when they confirm your biases."
"The only thing more dangerous than a statistic is a statistic that looks good."
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"A statistician is a person who draws a mathematically precise line from an unwarranted assumption to a foregone conclusion."
"In statistics, the fewer things we observe, the more we can say—if we’re willing to make sacrifices."
"I don’t trust statistics. I don’t trust anyone with more than three names."
"The mistake is in thinking that statistics can give an illusion of authority to the innumerable absurdities of everyday life."
"Statistics are a good, solid substitute for proof."
"The fact that here we are, faced with these statistics, says we selective focus."
"In heaven, all the interesting people are missing."
"Statistics is like a bikini, it shows a lot but not everything."
"You can use statistics to prove anything, so long as you’re willing to twist the truth."
"The government’s statistics are as trustworthy as the government’s promises."
"Facts are stubborn things, but statistics are more pliable."
"Statistics are like people; they are easiest to manipulate when they can be made to believe they are something they are not."
"A good statistician is one who can become a good magician."
"Statistical thinking will one day be as necessary for efficient citizenship as the ability to read and write."
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"Telling a statistical lie is like telling a joke that nobody gets."
"In statistics, a good sample is like a good joke: it gets a laugh without being too obvious."
"A statistician is someone who has to make up his mind about how to interpret observations picked up exclusively by chance."
"Statistics is the art of never having to say you're certain."
"The problem with statistics is that we can make them say almost anything we want."
"There's a world of difference between a statistic and a story."
"I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not too sure."
"Statistically speaking, the average person is a myth."
"You know, you can put all the statistics on a pie chart, but it still won't make it taste better."
"The only time I felt confident about statistics was when I realized that 99.9% of my problems were caused by 1% of the population."
"A statistician can have a bad day and turn average into 'above average.'"
"If you never get the chance to argue with a statistician, you should take it. They have a way of turning the conversation back to numbers."
"Some people have a way with words, while others struggle with statistics."
"Statistics are like people. They can be made to lie."
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"The only thing worse than being wrong is being misunderstood – especially by your statistics."
"When in doubt, throw your sample size out!"
"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that."
"A statistician will tell you there are three kinds of people: people who can count, and people who can't."
"Statistics: the only field where the only way to win is to not play!"
"Statistics can be used to prove anything – especially the wrong thing."
"Statistics: The only science that enables different experts using the same figures to draw different conclusions."
"87.4% of all statistics are made up on the spot."
"Statistics are used much like a drunk uses a lamppost: for support rather than illumination."
"A good statistician is like a good detective: they gather clues to solve mysteries and find the truth."
"The only number that you can trust in statistics is the number of numbers."
"Statistical analysis is like a politician: it promises to solve all our problems but often leaves us with more questions than answers."
"Sometimes I wonder if our statistics are more like our socks, they often never seem to match."
"The difference between a statistician and a civil servant is that a statistician knows how to lie with numbers."
"I am not a statistician, but I know a lot of statistics and I ignore most of them."
"Statistics are to the mind what mathematics is to the legs: a way to measure distance and draw conclusions."
"You know that a statistician is good when he can turn a mean into a median with just a wave of his hand."
"Statistical significance is a nice way of saying that we think it's true, but we're not quite sure."
"There’s no such thing as a good or bad statistic; it’s really all about the context."
"Statistics are like the laws of poker; they work best when no one knows the rules."
"If the only tool you have is a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail, or a statistic!"
"Mathematics tells us that everything is possible... until the statistics come in!"
"To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is called statistics."
"I love statistics; it's like magic, but with charts!"
"Calculating statistics is like walking a tightrope; you need balance, or you’ll fall flat."
"Statisticians have a saying that if you’re not confused, you’re not paying attention."
"The only use of an statistician is to make predictions that the user can take to the bank."
"I don’t know what the question is, but the answer is always ‘42’."
"A statistician can have his head in an oven and his feet in ice, and he will say that on the average he feels fine."
"Statistics are the triumph of the quantitative method over common sense."
"There are two kinds of statisticians: those who can be deceived by statistics and those who cannot."
"The great thing about statistics is that you can prove anything with them."
"If you torture the data long enough, it will confess."
"Statistics is the art of never having to say you're wrong."
"If you looked at the data, you’d realize that what you’re saying is completely accurate, and also completely wrong."
"A statistician is someone who has to find their way on a graph without a map."
"Without statistics, we would be living in a world devoid of information – much like a statistician's imagination."
"In God we trust; all others bring data."
"Statisticians: People who can make a point if you spin them right."
"You can’t trust anyone who doesn’t think statistics is funny."
"If all the statistics in the world were laid end to end, I wouldn’t be a bit surprised."
"Statistics is the only science that enables different experts using the same figures to draw different conclusions."
"Good statistics, like bad wine, should be drunk with moderation."
"You can’t avoid statistics; they’re everywhere, even in the jokes."
"In statistics, there's a place for everyone… and no one feels the pressure to show up."
"Always remember: You are unique. Just like everyone else, statistically speaking."
"The statistician is a person who draws a mathematically precise line from an unwarranted assumption to a foregone conclusion."
"Using statistics is like using a feather duster; you might create a lot of fluff, but it doesn’t mean you’ve cleaned anything."
"To be a successful statistician, you have to be good at making up excuses for the results you come up with."
"Statistics are like bikinis. What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital."
"There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics."
"Statisticians can have a good time even when they're all alone."
"The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about. For statisticians, the worst is being misunderstood."
"In statistics, a negative correlation may not mean anything, unless you tell a joke about it."
"A statistician can have a good time with just a few numbers."
"Statistics: the art of never having to say you're certain."
"I’m convinced that there are only two types of statistics: the ones that are misquoted, and the ones that you can’t understand."
"Statistics are your best friends, as long as you don’t let them do your taxes."
"As far as I’m concerned, statistics are just funny little numbers with terrible social skills."
"A statistician is someone who has a sense of humor about variances."
"You can prove anything with statistics, except the truth."
"Life is a statistical miracle."
"If you torture the data long enough, it will confess to anything."
"The average person thinks they are above average, except when it comes to statistics."
"Statistics may be defined as a body of methods for making wise decisions in the face of uncertainty."
"Statistically, you're not even supposed to be here. But here you are!"
"The trouble with statistics is that they can be used to prove anything, even the truth."
"Statistical analysis: the art of fitting a line to a random cloud of data points."
"When it comes to statistics, all I can do is relate; I don’t separate."
"Statistics are widely used by those who don't want to tell the whole truth."
"If 50% of the population is below average, then half of our stats are lies!"
"Statistics can be like magic, making the unbelievable seem credible."
"Statistics are like a beautiful woman, sometimes you just want to know them better."
"Forget about all the reasons it won’t work and think about the reasons it will -- statistically!"
"In statistics, it helps to know your numbers... and when to laugh at them."
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