106 result(s) for Funny Quotes About Old People.
"The older I get, the more I realize I am not a teenager anymore."
"I’ve reached the age where my brain goes from 'You probably shouldn’t say that' to 'What the hell, let’s see what happens!'"
"You're never too old to learn something stupid."
"It's funny how you can be a senior citizen at 65, but no one cares until you're old enough to be the 'funny old man.'"
"When I was younger, I thought I was going to be a young old person. But what I discovered is that I’m just an old old person."
"Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you’re in it, there’s no way to get out."
"We are all the same age inside."
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"I told my doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to stop going to those places."
"Just remember, once you’re over the hill you begin to pick up speed."
"My age is 39 years old...but only in dog years."
"Old age, believe me, is a good and a rich age."
"I’ve had a wonderful time, but this wasn’t it."
"You can’t help getting older, but you don’t have to get old."
"I finally discovered the only reason to be alive is to enjoy it."
"There's no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it."
"Old people shouldn’t eat health food; they need all the preservatives they can get."
"As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe my budding career as a tour guide was not the right choice."
"The fountain of youth is in your mind; you can think yourself young or old."
"At my age, I’ve seen it all, done it all, and can’t remember most of it."
"The older I get, the more I appreciate the importance of being a good listener."
"Old age is not for sissies."
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"I can't believe I'm 106 years old. Honestly, I don't feel a day over 105."
"If you think I’m crazy now, wait until I’m elderly!"
"You're never too old to get your act together."
"As you get older, three things happen: The first thing you forget is... I can’t remember the other two."
"I may be a senior, but so what? I’m still hot!"
"You know you are getting old when the music you grew up with becomes classic."
"Age is something that doesn’t matter unless you are a cheese."
"The older I get, the better I was."
"Old folks don’t have the same aches and pains as younger folks, just a different selection."
"Old age: it’s the only thing worth waiting for."
"I don't feel old. I feel criminally insane."
"Aging is the extraordinary process where you become the person you always should have been."
"Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been."
"I’ve reached the age where my back goes out more than I do."
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"After a certain age, if you don’t wake up aching in every joint, you’re probably dead."
"The older I get, the more I realize I’m not really in charge of my own life. My body and its needs are in charge."
"I’m at the age where my back goes out more than I do."
"Old age is like a fine wine, it gets better with age. Just kidding, it gets better with cheese."
"Getting older is like being a fine wine. The older you get, the better you become, except when you get too old, then you just sour."
"The first sign of old age is when you don’t necessarily want to go to the gym but just get out of bed."
"At my age, I’ve seen it all, but I can’t remember it."
"I’ve reached the age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me."
"You’re never too old to be young."
"Old people shouldn’t eat health food. They need all the preservatives they can get."
"You know you're getting old when you begin to see the light at the end of the tunnel, and it’s an oncoming train."
"The older you get, the more you realize that you’re not as wise as you thought you were."
"The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age."
"I can’t believe how old I’ve gotten. I remember saying to myself, ‘I’ll never get to be that old’, and now here I am!"
"Growing old is mandatory, but growing up is optional."
"When you’re over the hill, you pick up speed."
"Old age is like a bank account. You withdraw what you have put in."
"Just remember, you’re not old until you can’t remember how old you are."
"Age is a case of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it don’t matter."
"The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for."
"I’m not old; I’m just getting younger."
"Old age is no place for sissies."
"I'm at that age where my back goes out more than I do."
"Old age is like flying a kite. You feel the wind, but you don't have to have the string."
"I don't do cardio. I just do a lot of inhaling and exhaling."
"At my age, I’ve seen it all, done it all, and can’t remember a damn thing."
"Aging is not lost youth but a new stage of opportunity and strength."
"You’re not 40, you’re 18 with 22 years of experience!"
"The older you get, the better you get, unless you’re a banana."
"Old people shouldn’t eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get."
"To be old and wise, you must first be young and stupid."
"It’s weird being the oldest person in the room."
"Just because you’re old doesn’t mean you can’t have a sense of humor."
"When I was young, I was told that anyone could be president. Now I’m beginning to believe it."
"The secret to staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age."
"As I get older, I remember my mother's advice to me: 'Don't take life too seriously. You'll never get out of it alive.'"
"You know you're getting old when you have more candles than cake."
"Don't worry, there’s no need to be afraid of getting old. Just think of it as becoming wiser... at a slower pace."
"Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you’re in it, you might as well enjoy the ride."
"I’ve reached the age where 'happy hour' is a nap."
"I’ve learned that you can’t take it with you, but I’m still trying to pack it all in before I go."
"The golden age is not that of youth but of new adventures."
"At my age, I’m so tired I could fall asleep standing up."
"Distribution of wealth is a tricky business; my age has solidified my position in life."
"I told my friend 10 jokes to get him to laugh. Sadly, no pun in ten did."
"You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake."
"Age is something that doesn't matter, unless you are a cheese."
"I can't believe how old I am now. I remember when I was young, my body was just like a tall, handsome man, now it's like a decrepit piano!"
"The older you get, the better you get, unless you are a banana."
"At my age, I've seen it all, done it all, heard it all. I just can't remember it all."
"Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you’ve got to start young."
"You know you're getting old when your back goes out more than you do."
"Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional."
"I don't feel old. I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for my nap."
"Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you're on the ground, you never want to get back in the air again."
"Nothing is more exhausting than getting old. It's like running a marathon while you jog in place!"
"Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician."
"You know you're getting old when the shadows in your glass are more attractive than the reflection in the mirror."
"Age is merely the number of years the world has been enjoying you."
"I can't wait to turn 80, so I can be like, ‘I don’t care what you think, I’m gonna do whatever I want!'"
"You know you're getting old when you have to tape your knees together to go for a jog."
"Old people shouldn’t eat health food. They need all the preservatives they can get!"
"When I was young, I was too busy living my life to worry about aging. Now that I'm older, I'm too busy pretending I’m not old to worry about it!"
"Old age isn’t a battle; old age is a gift."
"I’m so old, I've seen some things that were still in black and white!"
"The trick is to age honestly and gracefully, like an old oak tree."
"Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter."
"Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed."
"You’re not a senior citizen. You’re a classic!"
"The older I get, the more I realize that being happy is a choice. I choose to be happy even if I'm old!"
"When I was young, I thought I was going to die when I got old. Now that I'm old, I just hope I don't die before I run out of things to do!"
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