133 result(s) for Funny Marine Quotes.
"The Marines are looking for a few good men. So why did they recruit me?"
"The Marine Corps is like a big family. We're all a little crazy, but we love each other."
"You can't fix stupid, but you can make it a Marine!"
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent, except a Drill Instructor!"
"Marines don't do body counts. We just do the math."
"Being a Marine means you’re going to run around in the mud and still look good."
"A Marine's life is like a box of chocolates: full of nuts."
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"If you see something that doesn't look right, just say 'I’m a Marine!' and walk away."
"Marines: Serving coffee all over the world."
"We sleep safely at night because rough men stand ready to visit violence on those who would harm us."
"I joined the Marine Corps to be the best, not the most popular."
"Pain is just weakness leaving the body, especially in Marines."
"The only easy day was yesterday."
"Adapt, improvise, and overcome! Unless it’s laundry day."
"In the Marine Corps, we don't measure a man’s skills by what he has. We measure them by what he does."
"Marine Corps: We do more before 9 AM than most people do all day!"
"Don't worry about your future; you're a Marine, and you will always find a way."
"I’d rather be a Marine than a sailor, but I wouldn't say it to their faces!"
"If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a bullet. Just not in the Marine Corps."
"Once a Marine, always a Marine. Even if you can’t remember where you put your keys."
"Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everyone you meet—unless they offer you ice cream."
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"Marines are like a fine whiskey: smooth with a kick!"
"You don't have to be crazy to be a Marine, but it sure helps!"
"The Marine Corps is like a cult, only with better uniforms!"
"Always carry a pencil; you never know when you'll need to draw your weapon!"
"It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog... or the Marine!"
"Being a Marine means you get to wake up before the sun and punish yourself so others can sleep in."
"The Marines I had seen were the closest thing to superheroes I had ever known."
"I think it's called being a Marine, but I'm not an expert."
"I'm not saying I'm Batman. I'm just saying no one has seen me and the Marines in a room together."
"If I wanted to hear from an a**hole, I'd just check into a Marine Corps barracks."
"I joined the Marines to protect my country. I didn't know I'd have to protect my sanity too."
"The only thing tougher than a Marine is a Marine’s sense of humor."
"Marines have a motto: 'Improvise, Adapt and Overcome'—which also applies to my cooking."
"If you can’t laugh at yourself, please, let me know so I can."
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"In the Marines, if you’re not laughing, you’re crying. And crying doesn’t help with cleaning the latrine!"
"A Marine’s best friend is a good sense of humor, right next to a sharp bayonet."
"Semper Fi, and always leave room for laughter."
"They say laughter is the best medicine. It's also the best way to avoid fear in combat!"
"Marines: We do more by 9 a.m. than most people do all day… and we do it with a smile."
"The Marine Corps: Where 'good enough' doesn’t exist, but we sure do know how to make fun of it!"
"You’d think we were professional comedians, the way we joke around in the field."
"A Marine’s motto: If it ain’t fun, we ain’t doing it right!"
"Why did the Marine cross the road? To get to the other side—faster than anyone else."
"If it’s not raining, we’re not training. But we’ll still make jokes about it!"
"There are no atheists in foxholes, but there are plenty of smart-aleck Marines."
"You can take the Marine out of the barracks, but you can’t take the barracks out of the Marine—especially when it comes to bad jokes!"
"You know you’re a Marine when your idea of a hug is a solid bear grip."
"We may be tough, but we still know how to have a good laugh."
"Marines keep morale high with humor—it's essential for survival!"
"I tell my troops: a sense of humor is mandatory. It might just save your life!"
"The only drill sergeant I ever feared was the one who made the best jokes!"
"Behind every tough Marine is a story… and probably a really bad joke."
"When the going gets tough, the tough start telling jokes."
"The Marines are, the very best! I’d never want to be anything else. Anyone can be saved… but only a Marine is a Marine."
"Marines: The only people who will tell you their life story while they’re still living it."
"A Marine is a Marine forever. The only time you stop being a Marine is when you stop breathing."
"If you’re going to be dumb, you’ve got to be tough."
"The happy Marine, always: tired, hungry, and being shot at."
"When in doubt, give it a shout loud!"
"Marine Corps: Where every day is a little bit like hell, but you just have to laugh about it."
"Courage is being scared to death but saddling up anyway."
"It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog."
"I didn’t join the Marine Corps to be a messenger; I joined to be a killer."
"Once a Marine, always a Marine; once a joke, always a joke."
"You know you're a Marine when you think glamping is a hardcore camping trip."
"There’s a fine line between a superpower and a useless skill. Unfortunately, most of us Marines walk that line daily."
"Every Marine is a rifleman, but some of us are really great at telling bad jokes too."
"The four most important words in any Marine's vocabulary: 'I don't know, sir.'"
"You can’t fix stupid, but you can fix a Marine’s haircut."
"Nothing is more important than a good offense. Except for a good punchline."
"Our motto: This is going to be a heck of a story!"
"In case of emergency, break glass and call a Marine – we’ll figure it out."
"Pain is just weakness leaving the body… with a funny punchline."
"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle—unless they’re a Marine, then they’re already used to it."
"We may not have all the answers, but we can sure make you laugh while we figure it out!"
"If the plan doesn’t come together, laugh about it and keep moving, Marine!"
"The only easy day was yesterday, but let's not kid ourselves; we had some fun!"
"Be careful out there — the average Marine can do anything, including cracking jokes!"
"The Marines are the most precise and lethal warriors on the planet. That’s why we get our orders in a perfect square."
"The Marine Corps is a department of the Navy, but only as the Little League is a part of Major League Baseball."
"Why did the Marine cross the road? To get to the other side—faster, quieter, and with more firepower."
"The Marine Corps is not about being a better athlete. It’s about being a better warrior."
"Marines: Because even soldiers deserve a fighting chance."
"There are only two kinds of people in this world: Marines and those who wish they were Marines."
"If you've ever been in a Marine Corps training camp, you'll understand why they say only the strong survive...and the funny ones tell the best stories."
"Getting shot at is like a Marine getting a haircut. You just sit there and hope it’s over soon."
"I’m not saying I’m not afraid of the dark; I’m just saying I’ve been trained to shoot in it."
"In the Marine Corps, being a 'sick call ranger' is a badge of honor."
"Marine Corps humor isn’t just funny; it’s therapy with a rifle."
"Marines: Taking risks, making mistakes, and then doing it again... but faster!"
"Being a Marine means being on time... Just not early."
"Marines: We may be outnumbered, but we’re never out-funny."
"We’re Marines: we can turn any tactical retreat into a tactical advance with a well-timed joke."
"Deployments are like bad jokes; the ones that make you cringe are the ones you remember the most."
"You know you’re a Marine when you can turn a 'no way' into 'semper fi' with a wink."
"The secret to a successful mission? Laughter makes your bullet better."
"A day without laughter in the Marine Corps is like a day without a drill sergeant—unthinkable."
"What’s a Marine’s favorite song? ‘Don’t Stop Believin’… especially when you’re running!"
"When life gets tough, just remember: even semper fi has the ‘fi’ part for ‘funny.’"
"The only thing tougher than a Marine is the joke he tells about it."
"A Marine walks into a bar... and turns it into a squadron."
"We fight hard, laugh harder, and survive together—Marines never miss a punch line!"
"Remember, Marines: Humor is just fate's way of keeping it real."
"If you can’t laugh at yourself, you’re not doing it right as a Marine."
"In the end, it’s not just about the mission, but about how many good laughs we had along the way."
"The Marine Corps is a good place to be if you can keep your mouth shut and your nose clean!"
"The only thing worse than a Marine who cannot drill is a Marine who cannot cook!"
"Pain is just weakness leaving the body. Unless it’s a hangover. Then it’s just a hangover."
"There are two kinds of people in this world: Marines and those who wish they could be Marines."
"The more you sweat in peacetime, the less you bleed in war."
"I’m not saying the Marine Corps is bad, I’m just saying they should make sure all the people they recruit have a valid sense of humor."
"We're not just tough; we’re MARINE tough!"
"Marines: We don’t do ‘yes sir’; we do ‘sure thing, boss!’"
"Every Marine is a rifleman. Except for the ones who aren’t, and they’re probably the ones taking the notes."
"If the Marines are not in heaven, I don’t want to go!"
"Being in the Marine Corps is like being in the military; you never know what’s coming next!"
"Marines: We're not lazy; we're conserving energy for the next mission!"
"Camaraderie is everything; that and a good pair of boots."
"In the Marine Corps, everything's a joke; you just have to find the punchline."
"I joined the Marine Corps to see the world. Turns out, I ended up seeing quite a few barracks."
"Marine Corps boot camp: Where they turn boys into men and strip away all sense of humor!"
"If it ain’t broke, you’re not trying hard enough!"
"When in doubt, take a knee, drink some water, and blame the weather!"
"A bore is a fellow who has nothing to say but says it anyway."
"The worst part about being a Marine? The coffee. But we drink it anyway!"
"You know you’re a Marine when you start using military time for everything."
"Marines: Professional procrastinators since 1775!"
"Remember, the Navy has the world’s second largest fleet... the first is just the Marines floating in the water!"
"Do not disturb a Marine; we’re busy looking for our missing socks."
"Never underestimate a Marine with a sense of humor and a full cup of coffee!"
"Being a Marine is not a job; it’s a full-time comedy show!"
"You call it chaos; we call it Marine Corps training!"
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