130 result(s) for Funny Deer Hunting Quotes.
"The only thing that might be tougher than hunting is finding a date during hunting season."
"I’m just a hunting and fishing guy living in a deer’s world."
"I don't hunt deer, I hunt the excuse to sit in the woods and not talk to anyone!"
"If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you!"
"The deer don't know they are supposed to be scared. If they did, they'd be much harder to hunt."
"Hunting deer is a great way to avoid talking to the neighbors."
"A bad day hunting is better than a good day at work."
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"I love my job, but I’d rather be hunting."
"Hunting is not just a sport; it’s a waiting game. And I’m really good at waiting."
"If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles."
"You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy a hunting rifle, and that’s pretty close."
"The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity. But for deer hunting, we prefer the latter."
"Hunting gives you a chance to find out who you are when you’re quietly waiting in the woods."
"If you bring a deer to the table, it's much easier to stay off your phone!', "
"Research shows that deer hunters talk about the size of their last catch 50% more than fishermen!"
"Why did the hunter bring a ladder? Because he heard the deer were up in the trees!"
"A deer might be the only thing on my mind this season, but I can still laugh at the jokes!"
"The only reason I go deer hunting is to sit in my truck and drink coffee."
"I told my wife I was going deer hunting. She said, 'No, you just want to sit in the woods.' I said, 'Exactly.'"
"Why don’t deer ever play poker in the wild? Because they’re afraid of cheetahs!"
"A new day for hunting: whenever you can get someone else to carry your gear!"
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"The best part of hunting is coming home and telling everyone how big the one that got away was."
"Warning: Start a conversation about hunting, and you might lose your lunch."
"Every deer hunter has an excuse ready. They just hope the deer can’t read!"
"I only go hunting because I like to get out in nature… and away from my phone!"
"I love to hunt, but I’m not very good at it. I only seem to catch colds in the woods."
"The most important thing about deer hunting is being able to tell your friends you went hunting, even if you didn't catch anything."
"The best part about deer hunting is that the deer don't know they're hunting you too."
"A hunt based only on trophies taken falls far short of what the ultimate goal should be."
"Deer hunting requires a lot of patience and the first thing to be taken from this world is your sanity."
"Hunting deer is like getting a woman: you've got to lure her in with pheromones as well as your charm."
"I'm so glad we were able to hunt today instead of sitting at work being productive."
"Why do deer never use Facebook? Because they are afraid of the hunters!"
"A bad day of hunting is still better than a good day at the office."
"I just want to make enough money to go deer hunting every year."
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"Hunting: The only sport that lets you sit around in the woods, get paid, and still accomplish nothing."
"The deer didn’t see me. I see you, Bambi, you think you’re safe?"
"Why do deer hunters make great musicians? Because they know how to follow the doe!"
"You know you're a deer hunter when you count deer in your sleep but still wake up hungry."
"I told my wife I was going to hunt deer. She just rolled her eyes and said, ‘Sure, but who’s hunting you?’"
"If you think it’s hard to get a deer in your sights, try getting a girlfriend!"
"The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."
"Why do hunters carry a pencil? In case they need to draw their bow."
"A hunter’s greatest fear is realizing that they have better aim on the beer can than the deer!"
"Ever notice how deer show up just when you put your sandwich down? That’s their master strategy!"
"I went hunting for deer once, but kept getting distracted by the beauty of the trees!"
"When they said the grass was greener on the other side, they didn’t mean hunting grounds!"
"What’s the difference between a deer hunter and a fisherman? Fishermen are more likely to tell you about their ‘big one’!"
"I’ve never met a deer I didn’t like, but I’ve met plenty of hunters I wouldn’t take home."
"The only thing easier than hunting a deer is getting lost in the woods trying to find my way back!"
"I don’t always hunt deer, but when I do, I usually miss."
"Remember, the two best things about hunting season are the hunt itself and the leftovers!"
"You can’t procrastinate on a hunting trip; I'm still trying to shoot that 10-point buck I keep seeing."
"The only thing that runs faster than a deer is a deer hunter with an expired license."
"I love the smell of deer in the morning – it smells like victory!"
"I hunted deer for the thrill of the chase, but I always end up bringing home a whole lot of nothing."
"A deer is a deer until my freezer gets empty."
"My favorite season is deer season, or as my wife calls it, 'the time of year you turn into a bear.'"
"The only deer I’ve ever shot was in a video game, and I feel just as accomplished."
"Hunting is not a matter of life and death. It's much more serious than that – unless you forget your snacks."
"A bad day hunting is still better than a good day at work – unless you forgot your lunch!"
"Real men don’t eat quiche, they eat deer sausages."
"If my dog doesn’t bark, I know it’s deer season!"
"Some people wait a lifetime for their one true love. I just wait for deer season."
"The hunt is about the journey, not the destination – unless you’re lost with no GPS."
"I’m not saying I'm a bad hunter, but I found more deer tracks in my neighbor’s yard than in the woods."
"If you aren’t hunting in your pajamas, are you really hunting?"
"I told my wife I was going deer hunting. She handed me a sandwich and said good luck!"
"You know you’re in the right spot when you hear a deer say, 'Boo!' and then you realize it’s your friend."
"The thrill of the hunt is only matched by the thrill of winning the battle of the barbecue post-hunt."
"Hunting: the art of using a thousand excuses not to do housework."
"Hunters are like deer – they usually only show up in the best spots when they want something."
"Remember: even Bambi had a hunting season."
"They say deer are great at hiding; I’m not sure that’s true, but my shooting skills could use some work."
"In deer hunting, you learn patience, stealth, and mostly, how to endure the cold."
"Cutting a deer makes the hunt seem worth it. Cutting a deer while on my phone? That’s multitasking!"
"Every deer hunter knows the hardest part of hunting is getting your car out of the mud."
"Dear deer, thank you for letting me eat you. Sincerely, a very grateful hunter."
"I’ve been deer hunting for years, and I’ve come to the conclusion that the deer are smarter than I am."
"You know what they say, if you can't hunt with the big dogs, stay off the porch - and that's fine with me. I prefer watching the Olympics on the couch."
"I hunt because I love to, I love the outdoors, I love the thrill of the chase, and I just really enjoy the meat afterwards."
"I always look up the wind direction before I hunt. Not for my benefit, but for the deer because they always seem to get it right!"
"The only thing more dangerous than deer hunting is a teenage girl with a cellphone."
"Why do they call it hunting? It's really just glorified hide and seek!"
"If I can see the deer, then the deer can see me. If I can’t see the deer, it’s probably because I’m sitting in my living room."
"A deer doesn’t know what a hunting season is. It just knows ‘chef’ is coming."
"If you really want to get an edge over your competition, stay in the truck! It works every time!"
"I've got a gun and a license. That's like a driver's license and a bumper sticker that says 'Honk if you like hunting!'"
"The best part of deer hunting is when you hear someone say, ‘You should have been here yesterday.’"
"Deer hunting: Where bad shots get a second chance and great shots get deer meat!"
"I went deer hunting; I got in a ‘seeing blind’ and ended up taking a nap instead."
"Some days you're the deer, some days you're the hunter. But most days, you're just trying to find where you parked the truck."
"The key to a successful deer hunt is to remember that you’re outsmarting a creature that thinks a rustling bush is a death sentence."
"I wanted to be a deer whisperer. Turns out they don’t respond well to being called ‘dinner.’"
"Deer are so dumb they even fall for my excuses when I come home empty-handed."
"The secret to successful deer hunting? Stay in the kitchen with the woman and let the deer come to you."
"I love deer season! When else can you wear an orange vest and not get arrested?"
"You know you’re an avid hunter when you get an email from your ex saying 'This is not the kind of stalking I had in mind.'"
"If I had to describe hunting, I’d say it’s like dating: you have to be quiet, sneaky, and somehow bring home the right one."
"Sometimes I wonder if deer are just watching us hunt from a distance, giggling quietly."
"Hunting is the only time I’ll put on something remotely resembling camouflage and still look fabulous."
"The satisfaction of a successful deer hunt: like winning a game of chess against a really dumb opponent."
"I don’t always go deer hunting, but when I do, I prefer to take at least a dozen snacks with me!"
"It's not about whether you win or lose; it’s about how you brag about it later."
"The worst thing about hunting is that it gives you a bad reputation with the deer. They talk, you know."
"I spent a lot of money on booze, dogs, and hunting equipment. The rest I just squandered."
"Hunting is not a sport. In a sport, both sides should know they're in the game."
"Some people go to church and think about hunting; others go hunting and think about God."
"If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best... which is right after I’ve bagged a deer."
"Why did the deer cross the road? To prove to the possum it could be done."
"When I go deer hunting, I always bring a book... Just in case I get caught."
"Anyone can be a hunter; it takes brains to be a deer."
"I love hunting. It’s all about being out there, waiting patiently, and getting nothing."
"The best part of deer hunting is the 'meat' of the matter."
"Hunting: the original binge-and-purge."
"Why do deer make bad drivers? They can't find their horns!"
"They say there is a fine line between fishing and hunting... but I think it's just the deer crossing the street."
"In every hunt, there are the hunter and the hunted. And a lot of time, deer just hit the snooze button."
"I love a good action movie—especially when they shove a deer antler in a bad guy's face!"
"I shot a deer, and it was the best turkey I ever had."
"Why do deer always have great parties? Because they know how to throw a stag do!"
"Deer hunting in November: when even the trees are sick of the leaves."
"You can’t always trust deer; they always seem to be a little 'deer-anged'!"
"Sometimes I think deer are smarter than we are... they usually run before the gun goes off!"
"Why did the deer reject the hunter's invitation? It couldn’t find its ‘deer place’!"
"If you ever see a deer disguise itself as a tree, run!"
"If it flies, it dies; if it runs, it's a deer to be shot."
"That’s right, I'm a hunter! Get out of my way before I mistake you for a deer!"
"There’s a time to hunt, and that's usually when the deer aren’t watching."
"If deer had social media, I bet they'd have the most popular pages!"
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