Memorable Quotes From The Office

77 result(s) for Quotes From The Office.
"That’s what makes the Office Olympics so special. It’s about the camaraderie."
Jim Halpert
"I have a lot of questions. Number one, how dare you?"
Kelly Kapoor
"I'm not great at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?"
Chandler Bing
"I'm not a hero. I put my bra on one boob at a time like everyone else."
Pam Beesly
"Identity theft is not a joke, Jim! Millions of families suffer every year."
Dwight Schrute
"Sometimes I’ll start a sentence and I don’t even know where it’s going. I just hope I find it along the way."
Michael Scott
"I talk a lot, so I’ve learned to just tune myself out."
Kelly Kapoor
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"I love inside jokes. I’d love to be a part of one someday."
Andy Bernard
"I’m not superstitious, but I’m a little stitious."
Michael Scott
"I’m an early bird and a night owl. So I’m wise and I have worms."
Michael Scott
"I wish there was a way to know you’re in the good old days before you’ve actually left them."
Andy Bernard
"I am fast. To give you a reference point, I am somewhere between a snake and a mongoose… And a panther."
Dwight Schrute
"I’m not usually the butt of the joke. I’m usually the face of the joke."
Jim Halpert
"I am beyond words. I am beyond apologies."
Michael Scott
"I love inside jokes. I'd love to be a part of one someday."
Michael Scott
"I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don't know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car."
Michael Scott
"I am your boss. Let's go break the law!"
Michael Scott
"I'm sorry, I annoyed you with my friendship."
Andy Bernard
"I feel like all my kids grew up and then they married each other. It’s every parent’s dream."
Michael Scott
"When the son of the deposed king of Nigeria emails you directly, asking for help, you help! His father ran the freaking country! Okay?"
Michael Scott
"That's what she said!"
Michael Scott
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"I founded this company. Do you think your tiny little legs could run this place better than I did?"
Michael Scott
"I don't hate it. I just don't like it at all and it's terrible."
Michael Scott
"I don't think you understand that you can't just say the word 'bankruptcy' and expect anything to happen."
Oscar Martinez
"I am a black belt in gift wrapping."
Michael Scott
"I am constantly texting out of context."
Michael Scott
"I'm like Superman, but without the super."
Michael Scott
"That's what she said... Or he said. It doesn't matter."
Michael Scott
"If I don't have some cake soon, I might die."
Stanley Hudson
"My philosophy is basically this: And this is something that I live by. And I always have. And I always will. Don't ever, for any reason, do anything to anyone, for any reason, ever, no matter what. No matter where. Or who. Or who you are with, or where you are going, or where you've been. Ever. For any reason. Whatsoever."
Michael Scott
"That's what she said. Oh God, my mind is going a mile an hour."
Michael Scott
"I am an enigma wrapped in a riddle... wrapped in a vest."
Michael Scott
"I'm not a hero. I'm a mere defender of the office."
Dwight Schrute
"I am aware of the effect I have on women."
Stanley Hudson
"Close your mouth, sweetie, you look like a trout."
Phyllis Smith
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"I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don't know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me."
Michael Scott
"I'm not a monster. I’m just ahead of the curve."
Creed Bratton
"Why are you the way that you are?"
Michael Scott
"I talk a lot, so I've learned to just tune myself out."
Kelly Kapoor
"Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me."
Michael Scott
"I am an early bird and a night owl. So I am wise and I have worms."
Michael Scott
"I have cause. It is beCAUSE I hate him."
Michael Scott
"Identity theft is not a joke, Jim!"
Dwight Schrute
"Fact: Bears eat beets. Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica."
Jim Halpert
"I am Prison Mike! You know why they call me Prison Mike?"
Michael Scott
"You only live once? False. You live every day. You only die once."
Dwight Schrute
"This is the worst! You are the worst! Your company is the worst! Your products are all terrible! You are terrible!"
Jim Halpert
"Dwight, you are a kiss-up. You're a kiss-ass. Boom, roasted!"
Kelly Kapoor
"I'm not nuts, I'm an innovator!"
Michael Scott
"I am fast. To give you a reference point, I am somewhere between a snake and a mongoose... And a panther."
Dwight Schrute
"I'm not a hero. I'm just a guy who works in an office."
Jim Halpert
"I'm an undiscovered genius."
Dwight Schrute
"Oh, it is on! Like a prawn who yawns at dawn."
Andy Bernard
"That's what she said."
Michael Scott
"I DECLARE BANKRUPTCY!"
Michael Scott
"It's not a pyramid scheme, it's a triangle of success."
Michael Scott
"Dwight, you ignorant slut!"
Michael Scott
"Identity theft is not a joke, Jim! Millions of families suffer every year!"
Dwight Schrute
"Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica."
Jim Halpert
"That's what she said... or he said."
Michael Scott
"I feel God in this Chili's tonight."
Pam Beesly
"I am Beyoncé always."
Michael Scott
"You only live once. False. You live every day. You only die once."
Dwight Schrute
"I'm an early bird and a night owl. So I'm wise, and I have worms."
Michael Scott
"I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them."
Andy Bernard
"I'm not defensive. You're the one that's being defensive."
Michael Scott
"I hate so much about the things that you choose to be."
Michael Scott
"I talk a lot, so I've learned to tune myself out."
Kelly Kapoor
"Sometimes I'll start a sentence and I don't even know where it's going. I just hope I find it along the way."
Michael Scott
"I am Beyoncé, always."
Michael Scott
"I am running away from my responsibilities. And it feels good."
Michael Scott
"It's a $200 plasma TV stolen from a man who would've sold me his own mother for a twinkie."
Michael Scott
"I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitious."
Michael Scott
"I understand nothing."
Michael Scott
"I am ready to face any challenge that might be foolish enough to face me."
Dwight Schrute
"I'm an early bird and a night owl. So I'm wise and I have worms."
Michael Scott
"Society teaches us that having feelings and crying is bad and wrong. Well, that's baloney, because grief isn't wrong."
Pam Beesly
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