104 result(s) for Funny Life Quotes.
"I'm not shy, I'm holding back my awesomeness so I don't intimidate you."
"Life is like a sewer... what you get out of it depends on what you put into it."
"I was born to make mistakes, not to fake perfection."
"I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done."
"I intend to live forever. So far, so good."
"The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets."
"Live each day like it's your second to the last. That way you can fall asleep at night."
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"Life's tragedy is that we get old too soon and wise too late."
"I'm not old, I'm just getting more distinguished."
"Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive."
"I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants."
"Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else."
"The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces."
"I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific."
"I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally."
"The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not."
"Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes."
"Reality continues to ruin my life."
"Life is short, smile while you still have teeth."
"Life is hard. After all, it kills you."
"Life is an adventure in forgiveness."
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"Life is mentally easier if you have a good sense of humor."
"Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon."
"Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats."
"Life is a long lesson in humility."
"Life is about making an impact, not making an income."
"Life is a spell so exquisite that everything conspires to break it."
"Life is like a cup of tea - it's all in how you make it."
"Life is a zoo in a jungle."
"Life is the art of drawing without an eraser."
"Life is one grand, sweet song, so start the music."
"Life is a wheel of fortune and it's my turn to spin it."
"Life is a book and there are a thousand pages I have not yet read."
"Life is partly what we make it, and partly what it is made by the friends we choose."
"Life is an onion - you peel it off one layer at a time, and sometimes you weep."
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"Life is short, break the rules."
"Life is like a sewer - what you get out of it depends on what you put into it."
"I am thankful for a lawn that needs mowing, windows that need cleaning, and gutters that need fixing because it means I have a home... I am thankful for the piles of laundry and ironing because it means my loved ones are nearby."
"Life is too important to be taken seriously."
"Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get."
"Life is what we make it, always has been, always will be."
"Life's a tough proposition, and the first hundred years are the hardest."
"The only difference between a good day and a bad day is your attitude."
"Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving."
"In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years."
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats."
"Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it."
"Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated."
"Life is full of obstacle illusions."
"Life's under no obligation to give us what we expect."
"Life is a tragedy when seen in close-up, but a comedy in long-shot."
"Life is like a mirror. Smile at it, and it smiles back at you."
"Life is an adventure, dare it."
"Life is inherently risky. There is only one big risk you should avoid at all costs, and that is the risk of doing nothing."
"Life is made of ever so many partings welded together."
"Life is half spent before we know what it is."
"Life is either a daring adventure or nothing."
"Life is what happens to us while we are making other plans."
"I'm not lazy, I'm just on my energy saving mode."
"Life is like a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving."
"I'm not clumsy, the floor just hates me."
"Life is better when you're laughing."
"I may be old, but I got to see all the cool bands."
"Life is short. Buy the shoes."
"When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye."
"I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge."
"Life is too short to be serious all the time."
"My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do."
"Life is like a cup of tea. It's all in how you make it."
"I'm not shy, I'm just holding back my awesomeness so I don't intimidate you."
"Life is short. Eat the cake."
"I'm not weird, I'm limited edition."
"Life is too short to wear boring clothes."
"I put the 'me' in 'awesome'."
"Life is a journey. Enjoy the ride."
"I talk to myself because sometimes I need expert advice."
"Life doesn't have any hands, but it can sure give you a slap sometimes."
"I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing."
"Life is short. Make the most of it."
"Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth."
"I'm not clumsy, I'm just on my way to inventing a new dance move."
"Life is like a box of chocolates. It's full of nuts."
"I'm not lazy, I'm energy efficient."
"I can resist anything except temptation... and chocolate."
"If at first, you don't succeed, call it version 1.0."
"I followed my heart, and it led me into the fridge."
"When nothing is going right, go left."
"I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it."
"Life is hard; it's harder if you're stupid."
"I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right."
"My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch... I call it lunch."
"The only thing standing between me and a really great day is reality."
"Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans."
"You're only young once, but you can be immature forever."
"I don't need a hairstylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning."
"I'm not bossy, I just know what you should be doing."
"I'm not a player, I just crush a lot... of candy."
"Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive."
"I'm not a complete idiot; some parts are missing."
"I put the 'Pro' in procrastination."
"I'm not lost, I'm exploring."
"The only thing I'm good at is being humble."
"Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first."
"Why be moody when you can shake your booty?"
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