102 result(s) for Christmas Vacation Quotes.
"If that thing had nine lives, she just spent them all."
"Worse? How could things get any worse? Take a look around here, Ellen. We're at the threshold of Hell."
"Honey, do you honestly think I would check thousands of tiny little lights if I wasn't sure the extension cord was plugged in?"
"Mele Kalikimaka is the thing to say on a bright Hawaiian Christmas Day."
"Shitter was full."
"We're gonna have the hap-hap-happiest Christmas."
"Where do you think you're going? Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no. We're all in this together."
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"If this gets out, they'll close the park."
"Hey. If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I’d like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head. And I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed, sack of monkey shit he is. Hallelujah. Holy shit. Where’s the Tylenol?"
"Don't throw me down, Clark."
"It's a membership to the Jelly of the Month Club. Clark, that's the gift that keeps on giving the whole year."
"Why don't you just ask him for the money, Eddie?"
"I dedicate this house to the Griswold Family Christmas."
"Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where's the Tylenol?"
"Societal values have been transformed to a great extent since the era from which the story originates."
"Nothing puts you in the spirit of the holiday like a guy in a leisure suit on fire."
"Eat my road grit, Liver Lips!"
"Oh, the silent majesty of a winter's morn; the clean, cool chill of the holiday air; an asshole in his bathrobe, emptying a chemical toilet into my sewer."
"Hallelujah! Holy ****! Where's the Tylenol?"
"Merry Christmas, the sh******est Christmas cousin Eddie."
"And why is the carpet all wet, Todd? I don't KNOW, Margo!"
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"If that thing had nine lives, she just spent ’em all."
"He worked really hard, Grandma."
"You couldn’t hear a dump truck driving through a nitroglycerin plant."
"Is Rusty still in the Navy?"
"We’re kicking off our fun, old-fashioned family Christmas by heading out into the country in the old front-wheel drive sleigh to embrace the frosty majesty of the winter landscape."
"Nobody’s leaving. Nobody’s walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no. We’re all in this together."
"The little lights aren't twinkling, Clark."
"Look at the time. I gotta go to bed. I still gotta brush my teeth, feed the hog, still got some homework to do, still got those bills to pay, wash the car."
"I’ll hurry you up, you know, with the fingernails of impatience."
"I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, ****less, hopeless, heartless, fat-***, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey **** he is."
"Eddie, if I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn’t be more surprised than I am right now."
"Where do you think you’re going? Nobody’s leaving. Nobody’s walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas."
"Honey, where’s the Tylenol?"
"We’re kicking off Christmas by heading out into the country in the old front-wheel drive sleigh to embrace the frosty majesty of the winter landscape."
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"If this turkey tastes half as good as it looks, I think we're all in for a very big treat."
"Why don't you bend over and let me show you?"
"Dad, this box is meowing."
"Best Christmas Vacation ever!"
"I don’t know why they call this stuff Hamburger Helper. It does just fine by itself, huh? I like it better than tuna helper myself, don’t you, Clark?"
"We’re kicking off our fun, old-fashioned family Christmas by heading out into the country in the old front-wheel drive sleigh to embrace the frosty majesty of the winter landscape and select that most important of Christmas symbols."
"This tree is a symbol of the spirit of the Griswold family Christmas."
"Squirrel! Squirrel!"
"Looks great! Little full, lotta sap."
"Can't see the line, can you, Russ?"
"It’s not going in our yard, Russ. It’s going in our living room."
"And why is the carpet all wet, *DRIED*?!"
"Merry Christmas. Shitter was full."
"Hey! If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I’d like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people."
"Ohhhh, I was just smelling – smiling. I was just blouse – bouncing! I was just *blousing!*"
"Hey Griswold, where do you think you’re gonna put a tree that big?"
"Why is the carpet wet, *todd*?!"
"The little lights… they aren’t twinkling."
"Don’t throw me down, Clark."
"EAT MY ROAD FUMES, SQUIRREL!"
"Surprised, Bethany?"
"I don't know what to say, except it's Christmas and we're all in misery."
"The most enduring traditions of the season are best enjoyed in the warm embrace of kith and kin."
"That's the gift that keeps on giving the whole year."
"Save the neck for me, Clark."
"My cousin-in-law, whose heart is bigger than his brain."
"The little lights aren't twinkling."
"That there is an RV."
"Shitter was full!"
"We’re gonna have the hap-hap-happiest Christmas."
"Surprise, surprise, surprise!"
"Real tomato ketchup, Eddie?"
"Oh, he’s cute, ain’t he? Only problem is he’s got a little bit of Mississippi leg hound in him. If the mood catches him right, he’ll grab your leg and just go to town. You don’t want him around if you’re wearing short pants. If you know what I mean."
"Clark, stop it! I don't want to spend the holidays dead!"
"The last time I saw a mouth like that, it had a hook in it."
"Honey, is your house on fire?"
"Rocking ’round the Christmas tree, Let the Christmas spirit ring."
"Merry Christmas! Sh***er was full!"
"I don’t have a spare, but if you need a piece of the 'ol flippity-flop, hang ten till my buddy Howie shows up. He’s got the blinker fluid."
"Clark, we're stuck under a truck!"
"You're not gonna go falling in love with it, are you, Clark?"
"Eddie? If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn't be more surprised than I am right now."
"I don't know what to say, but it's Christmas and we're all in misery."
"Surprised, Eddie? If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn't be more surprised than I am right now."
"We're kicking off our fun, old-fashioned family Christmas by heading out into the country in the old front-wheel-drive sleigh to embrace the frosty majesty of the winter landscape and select that most important of Christmas symbols."
"Hallelujah! Holy [beep]! Where's the Tylenol?"
"Looks great. Little full, lotta sap."
"Bend over and I'll show you."
"I don't want to spend the holidays dead."
"It's a membership for the jelly of the month club."
"Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead?"
"This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here."
"If that thing had nine lives, she just spent ‘em all."
"The line paused, stands illuminated."
"I wonder. That ain't as bad as falling down a well, is it, Rusty?"
"Hey Griswold. Where do you think you're going to put a tree that big?"
"I don't have the luxury of taking a mental health day."
"If you're not doing anything constructive, run into the living room and get my stogies."
"This is crazy, this is crazy, this is crazy!"
"Why is the carpet all wet, Todd?"
"Excuse me, could you please tell me how to get back on the expressway?"
"You couldn't hear a dump truck driving through a nitroglycerin plant."
"Give me somebody. Just anybody. Nobody's safe when I'm around."
"She wrapped up her cat, what he really needs."
"Is your house on fire, Clark?"
"Take a look at the mother lode."
"It's for the kids!"
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