107 result(s) for Funny Quotes About Life.
"Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans."
"Life is hard. After all, it kills you."
"Life is like a comic strip, but without the funny parts."
"Life is a mirror and will reflect back to the thinker what he thinks into it."
"Life is an opportunity, benefit from it."
"Life is a gift. Never forget to enjoy every moment you are in."
"Life is a succession of moments, to live each one is to succeed."
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"Life is like a piano, the white keys represent happiness and the black shows sadness, but as you go through life's journey, remember that the black keys also create music."
"Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, but learning to dance in the rain."
"Life is an echo. What you send out, comes back. What you sow, you reap. What you give, you get. What you see in others, exists in you."
"Life is a dream for the wise, a game for the fool, a comedy for the rich, a tragedy for the poor."
"Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all."
"Life is full of surprises, some good, some not so good."
"Life is 10% what you make it, and 90% how you take it."
"Life is like photography. You need the negatives to develop."
"Life is a question and how we live it is our answer."
"Life is a soup and I'm a fork."
"Life is like an ice cream, enjoy it before it melts."
"I'm not clumsy, I'm just on a mission to find the floor... with my face."
"Life is like a sewer - what you get out of it depends on what you put into it."
"I intend to live forever. So far, so good."
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"If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you."
"Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans."
"The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets."
"I'm on the whiskey diet. I've lost three days already."
"I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender."
"I'm not sure if I lost my mind or found it."
"If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito."
"I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places."
"It's okay to look at the past and the future. Just don't stare."
"Live every day like it's your last, eventually you'll be right."
"I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness."
"It's not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on."
"Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away."
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go."
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"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night."
"I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants."
"If you're going to tell people the truth, be funny or they'll kill you."
"I am an early bird and a night owl... so I am wise and I have worms."
"The only way to get through life is to laugh your way through it. You either have to laugh or cry. I prefer to laugh."
"Life is like a sewer... what you get out of it depends on what you put into it."
"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on."
"Life is hard; it's harder if you're stupid."
"Life is what we make it, always has been, always will be."
"Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated."
"Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it."
"The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up."
"I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose."
"We are all here on earth to help others; what the others are here for I don't know."
"I have found that if you love life, life will love you back."
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats."
"Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving."
"Life's tragedy is that we get old too soon and wise too late."
"The purpose of our lives is to be happy."
"I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific."
"Life is short, but it's wide."
"Life is like a mirror: it'll smile at you if you smile at it."
"The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall."
"Life is too important to be taken seriously."
"Life is not about finding yourself, it's about creating yourself."
"Life is what happens to us while we are making other plans."
"Life is an adventure, not a package tour."
"Life is short, smile while you still have teeth."
"I thought growing older would take longer."
"I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge."
"Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get, but it's all good."
"I don't need a hairstylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning."
"If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you."
"I'm old enough to know better, but young enough to still do it anyway."
"I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode."
"Why fit in when you were born to stand out?"
"I don't need a hairstylist, my hat provides me with a variety of hairstyles."
"Life is like a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving."
"I don't need a flashlight to find the light switch, I just follow the glow of my phone."
"Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you're drunk."
"I tried to be normal once. Worst two minutes of my life."
"I put the 'Pro' in procrastinate."
"I'm not clumsy. The floor just hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way."
"Life is short. Eat the cookie."
"I don't need an inspirational quote. I need coffee."
"I'm starting to think I'll never be old enough to know better."
"Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving. Unless you hit a pothole. Then you're screwed."
"Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth."
"I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it."
"Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get."
"I live in a fantasy world because reality is too strange."
"Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans."
"I'm not lazy, I'm on energy-saving mode."
"When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye."
"I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done."
"Life is like a camera. Focus on what's important, capture the good times, and develop from the negatives."
"I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right."
"Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it."
"Life is trying things to see if they work."
"I never make the same mistake twice. I make it like five or six times, you know, just to be sure."
"Life is short. Buy the shoes."
"I'm not clumsy, I'm just on a mission to find the floor."
"Life is too short to be serious all the time. So if you can't laugh at yourself, call me, I'll laugh at you."
"The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen."
"I might look like I'm doing nothing, but in my head, I'm quite busy."
"Life doesn't have any hands, but it can sure give you a slap sometimes."
"When nothing goes right, go left."
"My wallet is like an onion. When I open it, it makes me cry."
"Life is full of questions. Idiots are full of answers."
"I'm not shy, I'm just holding back my awesomeness so I don't intimidate you."
"At night, I can't fall asleep. In the morning, I can't get up."
"The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30% of their ice cream."
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