99 result(s) for Funniest Inspiring Quotes.
"Happiness is not something ready-made. It comes from your own actions."
"I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose."
"Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it."
"The most wasted of all days is one without laughter."
"I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying."
"A day without laughter is a day wasted."
"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia."
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"I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours."
"When I follow my heart, I wake up in old PJs."
"Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes."
"You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake."
"The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30% of their ice cream."
"My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them."
"Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times."
"I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific."
"Success is walking from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm."
"The only way to do great work is to love what you do."
"You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose."
"If you want to lift yourself up, lift up someone else."
"In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years."
"The best way to predict the future is to create it."
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"Believe you can and you're halfway there."
"The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today."
"Try to be a rainbow in someone's cloud."
"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams."
"The only way to achieve the impossible is to believe it is possible."
"The biggest risk is not taking any risk. In a world that's changing really quickly, the only strategy that is guaranteed to fail is not taking risks."
"Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it."
"Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right."
"The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why."
"I am thankful for a lawn that needs mowing, windows that need cleaning and gutters that need fixing because it means I have a home... I am thankful for the piles of laundry and ironing because it means my loved ones are nearby."
"Fall seven times, stand up eight."
"The secret of getting ahead is getting started."
"What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals."
"I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing."
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"The only way to get through life is to laugh your way through it. You either have to laugh or cry. I prefer to laugh."
"I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender."
"I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized that the other day inside my fort."
"It takes nothing to join the crowd. It takes everything to stand alone."
"It's a funny thing about life, once you begin to take note of the things you are grateful for, you begin to lose sight of the things that you lack."
"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better."
"I know that I am intelligent, because I know that I know nothing."
"Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy."
"The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not."
"If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses."
"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it."
"I find television very educational. Every time someone turns it on, I go in the other room and read a book."
"All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure."
"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night."
"I can resist everything except temptation."
"My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far, I've finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already."
"I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination."
"Life is short, smile while you still have teeth."
"When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye."
"I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right."
"People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day."
"Behind every successful man is a surprised woman."
"If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you."
"Don’t take life too seriously. You’ll never get out of it alive."
"If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito."
"The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets."
"I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally."
"I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member."
"I'm an idealist. I don't know where I'm going, but I'm on my way."
"The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat."
"Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it."
"I have a simple philosophy: Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. Scratch where it itches."
"Life is what happens to us while we are making other plans."
"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia."
"When I hear somebody sigh, 'Life is hard,' I am always tempted to ask, 'Compared to what?'"
"Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive."
"Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday."
"If you are going through hell, keep going."
"If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans."
"Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth."
"The only way to get through life is to laugh your way through it. You either have to laugh or cry. I prefer to laugh. Crying gives me a headache."
"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."
"The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces."
"Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else."
"I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done."
"The elevator to success is out of order. You'll have to use the stairs, one step at a time."
"If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late."
"Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans."
"The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up."
"Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful."
"You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club."
"The first step is you have to say that you can."
"People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do."
"Opportunity does not knock, it presents itself when you beat down the door."
"Follow your passion. It will lead you to your purpose."
"The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now."
"Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today."
"I didn't fail the test. I just found 100 ways to do it wrong."
"Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions."
"Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall."
"The only place where success comes before work is in the dictionary."
"Don't watch the clock; do what it does. Keep going."
"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take."
"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened."
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