Memorable Funny Quotes About Work

78 result(s) for Funny Quotes About Work.
"The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it."
Franklin P. Jones
"The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get to the office."
Robert Frost
"By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day."
Robert Frost
"Nothing is impossible for the person who doesn't have to do it himself."
A. H. Weiler
"I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying."
Oscar Wilde
"The first step is to establish that something is possible; then probability will occur."
Elon Musk
"It's not that I'm so smart, it's just that I stay with problems longer."
Albert Einstein
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"There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure."
Colin Powell
"It's a funny thing about life: If you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it."
W. Somerset Maugham
"I failed my way to success."
Thomas Edison
"Don't be distracted by criticism. Remember, the only taste of success some people get is to take a bite out of you."
Zig Ziglar
"Don't watch the clock; do what it does. Keep going."
Sam Levenson
"Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there."
Will Rogers
"A desk is a dangerous place from which to view the world."
John Le Carré
"If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments."
Earl Wilson
"Keep your face always toward the sunshine—and shadows will fall behind you."
Walt Whitman
"When someone tells me "
"When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye."
Cathy Guisewite
"My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key but I’m still at work."
Unknown
"I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right."
Unknown
"Hard work never killed anybody, but why take the chance?"
Edgar Bergen
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"The best way to get something done is to begin."
Unknown
"To succeed in the world, it is much more necessary to possess a sincere and expressive work ethic than it is to possess talent."
Alan Sugar
"I'm an early bird and a night owl. So I'm wise and I have worms."
Michael Scott (The Office)
"The only time to set the bar low is for limbo."
Michael Scott (The Office)
"I'm not sleeping, I'm just resting my eyes."
Dolly Parton
"Work is the greatest thing in the world. So we should always save some of it for tomorrow."
Don Herold
"I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours."
Jerome K. Jerome
"Work is the curse of the drinking classes."
Oscar Wilde
"My job is secure. No one else wants it."
Unknown
"I haven't failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."
Thomas Edison
"The only way to do great work is to love what you do."
Steve Jobs
"Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether."
Unknown
"Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance."
Edgar Bergen
"If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter."
John Gotti
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"I'm very serious about no alcohol, no drugs. Life is too beautiful."
Jim Carrey
"I choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it."
Bill Gates
"I'm a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it."
Thomas Jefferson
"The problem with doing nothing is not knowing when you are finished."
Nelson DeMille
"The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office."
Robert Frost
"I am desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets."
Dave Edison
"My boss told me to have a good day, so I went home."
Unknown
"Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?"
Robin Williams
"The only time to improve your work is when your boss is on vacation."
Unknown
"Work is just the 3-letter spelling of fun."
Unknown
"A diamond is a chunk of coal that did well under pressure."
Henry Kissenger
"Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful."
Albert Schweitzer
"When you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot in it and hang on."
Franklin D. Roosevelt
"A job is not just a place where you work, it’s a whole ecosystem that messes with your head."
Scott Adams
"The only place where success comes before work is in the dictionary."
Vidal Sassoon
"If A is success in life, then A is equal to x plus y plus z. Work is x; y is play; and z is keeping your mouth shut."
Albert Einstein
"Don’t stay in bed unless you can make money in bed."
George Burns
"The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form."
Stanley J. Randall
"I choose a lazy person to do a hard job because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it."
Bill Gates
"The problem with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat."
Lily Tomlin
"I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours."
Jerome K. Jerome
"The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary."
Vidal Sassoon
"It's a funny thing about life, once you begin to take note of the things you are grateful for, you begin to lose sight of the things that you lack."
Germany Kent
"All happiness depends on a leisurely breakfast."
John Gunther
"People who never do any more than they get paid for, never get paid for any more than they do."
Elbert Hubbard
"Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is probably the reason why so few engage in it."
Henry Ford
"It is a good thing for an uneducated man to read books of quotations."
Winston Churchill
"I do not like work even when someone else does it."
Mark Twain
"The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off."
Abe Lemons
"By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day."
Robert Frost
"Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?"
Charlie McCarthy
"If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn't have a job if he was any smarter."
John Gotti
"I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early."
Charles Lamb
"The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one."
Oscar Wilde
"Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work."
Thomas Edison
"The best part about going to work is coming back home at the end of the day."
Savaniee Hansraj
"Hard work is damn near as overrated as monogamy."
Hugh Hefner
"Three o’clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do."
Jean-Paul Sartre
"Going to work for a large company is like getting on a train. Are you going sixty miles an hour or is the train going sixty miles an hour and you're just sitting still."
J. Paul Getty
"Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life."
Confucius
"Sometimes, the hours we put in at work are not as important as the energy we bring to the job."
Yoga Adedokun
"Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one."
Bill Gates
"The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office."
Robert Frost
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