123 result(s) for Funny Christmas Quotes For Friends.
"My husband’s idea of getting the Christmas spirit is to become Scrooge. I’m just glad I don’t have to pay for that therapy!"
"There are a lot of things that can make you smile at Christmas, but nothing brings on the festive cheer like eating a lot of cookies."
"I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug."
"I’m just a girl, standing in front of a salad, asking it to be a donut. Especially during the holidays!"
"What do you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa? A rebel without a Claus."
"I love the Christmas season, but let’s be honest—the only thing getting lit this year is my Christmas tree."
"If you think that Santa isn’t real, just remember: You only have to believe in him for one month out of the year!"
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"Dear Santa, I can explain... but only after the Christmas party."
"Nothing says holidays like a cheese log."
"The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear… or just quietly munching on holiday snacks."
"I put so much thought into my holiday shopping this year, almost as much as I put into my last relationship."
"I’m on the naughty list and I regret nothing."
"Christmas: the only time of year you can sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of socks."
"The most chaotic time of year is when you try to keep a straight face while taking Christmas photos with the family."
"I asked my kids what they wanted for Christmas, and they said, 'A new mom.' Guess I need to step up my game!"
"Sometimes I think I understand everything, then I regain consciousness. Especially after Christmas dinner."
"In the frenzy of gift-wrapping, don’t forget the gift of laughter... and maybe some wine."
"There's nothing worse than being a kid at Christmas, finding out that Santa lives in the same neighborhood as your ex."
"I can’t wait for Christmas to see how many of these insane family traditions I can pass off as normal!"
"I love the way Christmas smells—like pine trees and burnt cookies from the neighbor’s house!"
"I’ve decorated my house for Christmas—now it smells like a pine tree exploded in cinnamon!"
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"Christmas is a magical time of the year when we shut our eyes and pray we can make it to January without eating all the cookies."
"I just want to be able to keep my Christmas lights up without fearing the judgment from the neighbors."
"I love you more than Christmas, but please don't make me prove it."
"There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child."
"The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other."
"At Christmas, coffee and donuts are a must. But Christmas cookies turn coffee breaks into something special!"
"I told Santa you are a good friend but you don't listen much."
"Christmas is a time for friends whose Christmas card lists are as long as Texas."
"The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live."
"A friend is what the heart needs all the time, especially during the holidays."
"Three wise men, and they still missed the point. But, hey, it was Christmas!"
"Christmas shopping is expensive… but the easy part is pretending it’s all for someone else!"
"Dear Santa, I've been good all year. Well, most of the time. Once in a while. Never mind, I'll buy my own gifts."
"It’s all fun and games until Santa checks the naughty list."
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"Good friends are like stars. You don't always see them, but you know they're always there—especially at Christmas."
"Christmas is a time to get together… and remind each other of how crazy the family is!"
"I put so much thought into your gift; now I’m wondering how to tell you that it’s in my closet!"
"Maybe Christmas doesn’t come from a store. Maybe Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more… like a secret stash of cookies!"
"If you don’t believe in Santa, you get nothing for Christmas!"
"Why is Christmas the same as your job? You do all the work and some fat guy in a suit gets all the credit!"
"The Christmas spirit is about being active; it’s not about being still with a full belly and a nice nap!"
"Christmas calories don’t count. This is just a theory we have to see through!"
"Christmas is the time to say 'I love you,' but it is also the time to say 'I’m sorry' and 'I’m broke.'"
"My Christmas wish is that I could be in pajamas all day, every day—and have friends to join me!"
"Dear Santa, I’m on the naughty list! Can we skip to the gifts?"
"You know it’s Christmas when you get a hug from everyone and a few extra pounds to go with it."
"Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered."
"I’m going to be a happy Christmas - I'm definitely in a mood to spread cheer and eat too many cookies."
"The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear."
"Christmas is a day filled with warmth and laughter. And a large amount of eggnog."
"Dear Santa, I can explain..."
"There's something about a Christmas sweater that will always take me back to Christmases past."
"Who needs a big fancy party when you have friends who bring the Christmas cheer?"
"I wish we could put up some of the Christmas spirit in jars and open a jar of it every month."
"I told Santa you were good this year, and I hope he believes me."
"Christmas is the only time of year you can sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of socks."
"It's the most wonderful time of the year... to annoy your friends!"
"May your days be merry and bright, and may your Christmas be ... "
"Santa Claus has the right idea – visit people only once a year."
"This holiday season, remember to be as jolly as the jolly fat man himself."
"Nothing ruins Christmas more than a pair of socks."
"There are only so many Christmas sweaters one can wear in a lifetime."
"I like a Christmas tree, because it's a good reminder that we are all full of light inside. Just a little tangled up sometimes."
"A good friend is like a four-leaf clover: hard to find and lucky to have during the holidays!"
"Christmas is the season of lights… or at least it should be as long as my lights are working."
"Merry Christmas! May your happiness be large and your bills be small."
"I have no clue where I’m going to put this enormous Christmas tree of mine!"
"The only reason I have an artificial tree is because my cats would set the real one on fire."
"Remember, the true spirit of Christmas lies in your heart. And not in your ever-expanding waistline!"
"I don't always drink eggnog at Christmas, but when I do, I prefer it spiked."
"If kisses were snowflakes, I'd send you a blizzard!"
"Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his future remembered."
"At Christmas, all roads lead home."
"I’m dreaming of a white Christmas. But if the white runs out, I’m just dreaming of a drink."
"Christmas is not as much about opening our presents as opening our hearts."
"What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day."
"I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, 'toys not included.'"
"There’s nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child."
"Christmas is a time to remember those we love, and I love you, but I wish you'd stop borrowing my things!"
"I can't wait to see the look on my friends' faces when they find out I bought them the same gift!"
"The worst gift is a fruitcake. There, I said it."
"Dear Santa, I have been good all year. Most of the time. Once in a while. Never mind, I'll buy my own presents."
"The only thing worse than a Christmas sweater is a cardigan."
"My friends are like Christmas lights. They twinkle and sparkle, and sometimes they just don't work."
"You know you're getting old when Santa starts looking younger."
"Christmas is a time for giving. But let’s be honest, it’s mostly about getting."
"A Christmas candle is a lovely thing; It makes no noise at all, But softly gives itself away."
"I wrap my Christmas presents mostly in duct tape, and that way no one can get to them until I want them to."
"Every time I try to think of a clever Christmas quote, I get 'Jingle Bells' stuck in my head."
"You know it's Christmas when you’re up to your elbows in wrapping paper, and it's not even your birthday."
"Holiday shopping. The only time of year when you'd find me standing in line for a chance to spend money."
"The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear. Also, wine helps."
"Nothing says Christmas like the sounds of distant relatives arguing over who has the better Christmas tree."
"May your days be merry and bright, and may all your Christmases be slightly awkward."
"Dear Santa, I don’t want presents this year. I want my friends to get the gifts they deserve. Just kidding. I want presents."
"I started a new Christmas tradition. I’m going to be sending holiday cards — but they’re going to be printed with an excuse for why I haven't sent one since 2010."
"Christmas is the only time of year that you can sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of socks."
"It’s the most wonderful time of the year! Except when you get stuck with Uncle Bob at the table."
"I’m going to be honest: I’m not going to whitewash this. I’m going to drink wine while wrapping Christmas presents."
"I thought I was going to be a mommy! I didn’t know I was signing up to be a Christmas elf!"
"Dear Santa, I don’t want much this Christmas. I just want the person reading this to be happy!"
"Why is Christmas the most popular time for traffic accidents? Because everyone is trying to get to their relatives’ houses before they get run over by a reindeer!"
"I love Christmas. I receive a lot of wonderful presents I can’t wait to exchange."
"Don’t worry if you don’t have a great gift for me this Christmas; just send money and save your embarrassment!"
"Christmas is a time when you get homesick, even when you’re home."
"If you can’t be with the one you love, love the one you’re with... especially if that person brings you presents."
"The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear—unless you’re terrible at it!"
"Christmas is a time when you feel like a kid again…only now you have the credit card bill to prove it."
"I can’t wait till Christmas! That glorious time of year when people open their hearts…and wallets!"
"‘Tis the season to be jolly… or at least pretend until it’s January."
"Remember, Santa Claus is watching. He’s probably judging your eating habits, too."
"Christmas is all about spending time with family and friends… and making your kids believe in magic until they’re 10."
"All I want for Christmas is for my friends to stop lying about their age. No one’s told me when to stop lying yet!"
"What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite!"
"You know you’re getting old when Santa starts looking younger."
"I’m dreaming of a white Christmas, but if the white runs out, I’ll drink the red!"
"Who needs Santa when you have friends who eat all your cookies?"
"Join the army, see the world, meet wonderful people - then eat them for Christmas dinner!"
"That’s all the Christmas spirit I could muster today!"
"Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has never witnessed a man wrap a Christmas gift."
"The worst gift is a toupee; it’s just a bad hair day in disguise!"
"May your Christmas be filled with laughter, joy, and avoidance of the ‘it’s just the wrapping paper’ conversation!"
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