97 result(s) for Funny Inspirational Quotes.
"I always wanted to be somebody. Now I realize I should have been more specific."
"Behind every successful man is a surprised mother-in-law."
"Age is merely the number of years the world has been enjoying you."
"I can’t believe I gave my wrong phone number to someone who was trying to find me. Go figure."
"The only time to be positive you are in the right place is when you are on the edge of a cliff."
"Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?"
"I am on the patch of life. I’m just trying to stay on it."
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"A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it."
"I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right."
"I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure."
"If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments."
"Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired."
"I didn’t know what to expect, so I was pleasantly surprised."
"I always take life with a grain of salt, plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila."
"You can’t put a limit on anything. The more you dream, the farther you get."
"I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying."
"Just remember, you can do anything you set your mind to, but it takes a lot of hard work and effort…and also, it takes a miracle."
"Behind every successful man is a surprised woman."
"The only time to be positive you won't come back is when you're on the road to success."
"Don’t worry if plan A doesn’t work out, there are 25 more letters in the alphabet."
"I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not too sure."
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"I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work."
"Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going...unless you’re out of coffee, then all bets are off."
"If you think you’re too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito."
"The best way to predict the future is to invent it... or to read a fortune cookie."
"A day without laughter is a day wasted... but so is a day without coffee."
"Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?"
"Well, the way they see it, it's all in how you look at it. And I just look at it and laugh."
"I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everyone."
"Be like a duck. Paddle furiously under the surface and look composed on top."
"I didn't fail the test. I just found 100 ways to do it wrong."
"If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you."
"The only time to be positive you've got a clear path is when you’re on the edge of a cliff."
"Success is going from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm."
"Trying is the first step toward failure."
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"If you can't convince them, confuse them."
"I am an early bird and a night owl… so I’m wise and I have worms."
"Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive."
"The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory."
"I am so glad we had this time together just to have a laugh, or sing a song, or maybe even share a cup of tea."
"Age is something that doesn’t matter, unless you are a cheese."
"I've learned that age is not a barrier; it's a limitation you put on yourself."
"Life is like a sewer… what you get out of it depends on what you put into it."
"I didn't choose the thug life; the thug life chose me."
"I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure."
"Don't worry if plan A doesn't work out, there are 25 more letters in the alphabet."
"If you think education is expensive, try ignorance."
"I'm not arguing. I'm just explaining why I'm right."
"I'm on the patch to enlightenment—speed bumps and all."
"Sometimes you’re the pigeon, and sometimes you’re the statue."
"I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying."
"The only thing standing between me and greatness is fear of failure."
"I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early."
"Age is of no importance unless you’re a cheese."
"I didn’t fail the test. I just found 100 ways to do it wrong."
"You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?"
"I can’t believe I ate the whole thing."
"Dream big and dare to fail."
"I’m on the patch right now of not caring if I miss my deadlines."
"The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance."
"If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans."
"The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up."
"My therapist told me a time traveler was looking for a therapist. I said, 'So, how did that go?'"
"I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure."
"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."
"It’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years."
"If you want to be successful, you have to be willing to be uncomfortable."
"You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don’t try."
"Just remember, you can't climb the ladder of success with your hands in your pockets."
"Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans."
"Life is too important to be taken seriously."
"I am an early bird and a night owl... so I’m wise and I have worms."
"The best way to predict the future is to create it. Just kidding! You can’t predict the future!"
"If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you."
"Success is how high you bounce when you hit bottom."
"If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in bed with a mosquito."
"Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving. Or you may fall off!"
"Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia."
"When they hand you that diploma, they will not remind you that you owe them $100,000."
"Behind every great man, there is a woman rolling her eyes."
"The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces."
"Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else."
"I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific."
"A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory."
"I didn’t fail the test, I just found 100 ways to do it wrong."
"If you’re going through hell, keep going."
"The only time to be positive that you are in the right lane is when you’re on the edge of a cliff."
"The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."
"If you’re going to be thinking, you may as well think big."
"I can't tell you how many times I tried to run away from home, only to remember my mom wasn't going anywhere."
"I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won't work."
"If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito."
"The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather a lack in will."
"Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth."
"I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right."
"If you're going to fail, fail spectacularly."
"Procrastinate now, don't put it off."
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