Memorable Funny Super Bowl Quotes

127 result(s) for Funny Super Bowl Quotes.
"I think the most important thing is to be the first one to enjoy the game."
Jim Harbaugh
"I have a new philosophy. I'm only going to dread one day at a time."
Charles M. Schulz
"The fans are so passionate. It’s like they live and die with every play. That’s why I love this game."
Peyton Manning
"I can't wait to sift through the statistics to find the one that will help me explain my feelings on the game."
Anonymous
"I’m just glad I’m not eating a lemon right now."
Tom Brady
"You can't fool the camera. It’s there for all to see."
Jerry Rice
"I hate losing more than I love winning."
Jimmy Johnson
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"Football is a game of mistakes. Whoever makes the fewest mistakes wins."
Joe Namath
"We're going to win, no guessing. Just wait and see."
Deion Sanders
"A winning effort begins with preparation."
Joe Gibbs
"There’s no greater importance in the world than winning a Super Bowl."
Bill Cowher
"If you don’t have a playbook, you’re just playing with yourself."
Anonymous
"I’ve learned that something constructive comes from every defeat."
Tom Landry
"The only time to be positive you've got a clear path is when you take a hike."
Anonymous
"You don't need to be a genius to watch the Super Bowl."
Bill Murray
"My relationship with the NFL is more than love. It’s an addiction."
Conan O'Brien
"I don’t care which team it is, just as long as they’re losing."
Anonymous
"You can't win 'em all, but you can enjoy the snacks."
Anonymous
"There’s only two teams in America: the Dallas Cowboys and the others."
Dale Hansen
"I’m not a gym rat; I’m more like a vending machine."
Anonymous
"It's not whether you win or lose, it's how you take your snacks."
Anonymous
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"A Super Bowl party without wings is like a night without stars."
Anonymous
"I’m not saying I’m going to cause a riot. I’ m just saying if I don’t get wings, it may happen."
Anonymous
"You know you’ve hit rock bottom when they're replaying the commercials."
Anonymous
"If there's no nachos, I’m not watching."
Anonymous
"The only time I set the bar low is for limbo."
Jimmy Johnson
"I think the best thing about football is that it brings people together. Except for when their team is playing mine."
Unknown
"I can't believe I ate the whole thing. It was the Super Bowl nachos from hell!"
Unknown
"At Super Bowl parties, the only score that matters is the one on the snack table."
Unknown
"Football is a game of inches. And I’m just here for the commercials."
Unknown
"There’s a fine line between a super fan and a super loser."
Unknown
"I know I’m not going to be playing in the Super Bowl, but I’ll be doing what every good fan does: sitting on the couch and eating nachos."
Unknown
"I’ve got a date with the couch. It’s the day of the Super Bowl. We’ll be watching the game and sharing snacks."
Unknown
"Why did the chicken join the football team? Because it wanted to get to the other side!"
Unknown
"Super Bowl Sunday: the only time of year it's acceptable to spend hours on end shouting at a box."
Unknown
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"It's not just a game, it's an excuse to drink beer in front of the TV for an entire day."
Unknown
"My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch. I call it lunch, especially during the Super Bowl."
Unknown
"I can't wait for the halftime show! A perfect time to refill my nachos."
Unknown
"The Super Bowl is like Christmas for my stomach."
Unknown
"Who needs a team when you have this much food?"
Unknown
"Football players are a lot like diapers. They need to be changed regularly, and for the same reason."
Unknown
"In the game of football, sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, but you always snack."
Unknown
"At the Super Bowl, every second count when it comes to snack time!"
Unknown
"I'm just here for the commercials... and the wings."
Unknown
"I tried to get in shape for the Super Bowl, but I just couldn't get my shape out of that couch."
Unknown
"If I wanted to see violence, I would have just gotten in a bar fight. But I guess the Super Bowl is a close second."
Unknown
"I’d rather be judged by twelve than carried by six, especially during Super Bowl halftime."
Unknown
"Forget the game; I’m here for the food and the halftime show."
Unknown
"Super Bowl: the one day of the year when I decide to be an amateur referee in my own living room."
Unknown
"Just remember, when the game is on, the sideline is where the snacks are."
Unknown
"Why do football players make terrible bowlers? Because they always throw a strike during the Super Bowl!"
Unknown
"The only drama I want to see on Super Bowl Sunday is in the commercials."
Unknown
"It’s like a rodeo, baby! You got to hold on tight and ride it out! Just stay in the saddle and don’t let go!"
Jimmy Fallon
"My favorite part of the Super Bowl? The commercials, of course!"
Ellen DeGeneres
"I can’t believe it’s already here! It feels like I just put away the Thanksgiving turkey!"
Stephen Colbert
"The Super Bowl is an excuse to drink beer and eat nachos in public."
Jon Stewart
"You know, when I play football, I like to do it in the kitchen — that’s where the real game is!"
Chris Rock
"I’m pretty sure I’ve been training for the Super Bowl for the last 30 years — by lying on my couch."
Maya Rudolph
"I don’t watch football. I watch commercials and hope for a good halftime show!"
David Letterman
"The best part of the Super Bowl is the food. Everything else is just noise."
Kathy Griffin
"Here’s a tip: When watching the Super Bowl, try not to spill the nacho cheese on yourself. No one wants nacho cheese stains!"
Kevin Hart
"I root for the team that has the best halftime show!"
Tina Fey
"Football season is like Christmas. You start with great expectations, but there’s always some disappointment at the end!"
Bill Maher
"Super Bowl Sunday: a day when every football fan becomes expert in judging the performance of a halftime show!"
Jason Sudeikis
"Just remember, football is a game played by athletes at a high level of skill. The Super Bowl parties we throw? Well, that’s a game we all win!"
Selena Gomez
"I like watching the Super Bowl, but I love watching the snacks disappear!"
Rachael Ray
"The Super Bowl is the one day of the year you’re allowed to scream at the television and nobody will think you’re crazy!"
Hannah Gadsby
"Why do they call it the Super Bowl? I think it should be called the Super Boring when my team isn’t playing!"
Amal Clooney
"I didn’t even know the Super Bowl was on until I saw the buffet spread."
Mindy Kaling
"I’ve never seen an entire football game, but I’ve been to three Super Bowls! I’m only in it for the buffet!"
Nick Offerman
"Super Bowl Sunday is the one day of the year I don’t mind seeing my friends argue over who’s better: the Eagles or the Patriots. Go pizza!"
Sarah Silverman
"Sure, the game is exciting, but the real competition is always the ‘who can eat the most wings’ contest!"
Joe Rogan
"The Super Bowl is the one day you can pig out without judgment because ‘everybody’s doing it’!"
Kate McKinnon
"I’ve learned to appreciate football — especially the commercials where the dogs are the real stars!"
Ricky Gervais
"Every popcorn kernel has its day, especially on Super Bowl Sunday when you need to pop it like you mean it!"
Will Ferrell
"Football is like life, but it lasts for only three hours on Sunday, with snacks, and a lot of pausing."
Louis C.K.
"The real reason we all tune in is to see who will be the next celebrity to get a turkey leg, I mean, Super Bowl MVP!"
Megan Fox
"I love football. Thank you for asking. And I love a good competitive game. And I'm dying to see the halftime show."
Elton John
"The only time I ever watched the Super Bowl on TV was to see the commercials!"
Mary J. Blige
"I get a kick out of the commercials during the Super Bowl. I think that's my favorite part."
Kirstie Alley
"I can’t wait to see the halftime show; I mean, that’s why I watch the Super Bowl!"
Regina King
"I’ve always thought the halftime show is the best part of the Super Bowl."
Tyra Banks
"I love the Super Bowl. I mean, even if I don't watch the game, there are always good plates of food around."
NeNe Leakes
"I love that the Super Bowl brings together the best in sports—and the best in snacking."
Kevin Hart
"If the Super Bowl is on, you can find me glued to the couch with a bowl of nachos."
Ayesha Curry
"I think of the Super Bowl the same way I think of Thanksgiving: It’s all about food and family!"
Laila Ali
"Sure, I love the Super Bowl. Who doesn’t? It’s the one day of the year when everyone pretends to care about football."
Bill Maher
"The Super Bowl halftime show has become the best part of the Super Bowl. It’s like the dessert after the meal!"
Miley Cyrus
"I don't even like football, but I’m all about the snacks and commercials!"
Kristen Bell
"The Super Bowl: the only day of the year when it’s acceptable to eat snacks for six hours straight."
Nicole Scherzinger
"For the Super Bowl, I prepare like an athlete. I’ll lay on the couch like a champ!"
Jonah Hill
"The Super Bowl is a great excuse to throw a party. You can drink and eat junk food and scream at the screen."
Melissa McCarthy
"To me, the Super Bowl is a family reunion and an excuse to eat an entire pizza in one sitting."
Al Roker
"I love to watch the Super Bowl, mostly for the food. I’m just there for the nachos."
Rosie O'Donnell
"What I love about the Super Bowl is that everyone can gather, whether they care about the game or not."
Ellen DeGeneres
"I think the Super Bowl teaches us that teamwork is important, but so is snack time."
Tina Fey
"You know it’s Super Bowl time when everyone is suddenly a football expert!"
James Corden
"The commercials are the best part of the Super Bowl. I find myself tuning in just to see them!"
Ryan Seacrest
"I went to a Super Bowl party and realized I knew less about football than I thought. But hey, more chicken wings for me!"
Drew Barrymore
"For the Super Bowl, I plan my menu weeks in advance. It’s basically a culinary Olympic event!"
Rachael Ray
"The best part about the Super Bowl is it's the one time of year I can yell at the TV without my family judging me!"
Chrissy Teigen
"I can’t wait for the Super Bowl. It’s the one time of year that watching football is socially acceptable at 11 a.m. on a Sunday."
Unknown
"The only thing more beautiful than a football game is a football game with nachos."
Unknown
"I would rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy."
Dorothy Parker
"They say that nobody is perfect. Then they tell you practice makes perfect. I wish they'd make up their minds."
Anonymous
"If winning isn’t everything, why do they keep score?"
Vince Lombardi
"The Super Bowl is like an event in a really bad reality show that everyone watches and at the end nobody remembers what happened."
Unknown
"I told my wife I was going to the Super Bowl to watch football. She told me to bring her back nachos and a quarterback."
Unknown
"I can’t decide if I want to watch the game or just watch the commercials."
Unknown
"Super Bowl Sunday: a day when you can eat like a pig and still call it a celebration."
Unknown
"The football season is like a soap opera — there's plenty of drama and very little substance."
Unknown
"I watch the Super Bowl just to see the commercials, and then I get upset when they don't let me see the full game."
Unknown
"You can't win a game if you don't play. Unless, of course, the game is the Super Bowl and you're in the commercials."
Unknown
"Super Bowl: the only time catching a cold is in style."
Unknown
"Football is like life — it requires perseverance, self-denial, hard work, sacrifice, dedication, and respect for authority."
Vince Lombardi
"The Super Bowl should be renamed the Super Bowel because of all the food that goes in and the lack of productivity that comes out."
Unknown
"I only watch the Super Bowl for the halftime show and the snacks."
Unknown
"I’m just here for the halftime show and the nachos."
Unknown
"I like to see football players cry. It's like watching a toddler throw a tantrum."
Unknown
"What’s the difference between a bad quarterback and a government bond? Bonds mature."
Unknown
"What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine? You’re not working, you’re just a little out of service."
Unknown
"At the Super Bowl, you can’t lose. You either win the game or get great nachos."
Unknown
"I don’t just watch the Super Bowl. I partake in the ritual of guilt-free eating."
Unknown
"I started watching football again, but I decided it's easier to just watch it from the couch with chips."
Unknown
"I don’t care who wins the Super Bowl as long as the commercials are funny."
Unknown
"In America, we celebrate the Super Bowl like it’s a national holiday. Why not? It involves food, friends, and being sedentary!"
Unknown
"The Super Bowl: because life is too short not to sit on your couch and eat snacks."
Unknown
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