119 result(s) for Funny Technology Quotes.
"The only thing worse than a computer you can't fix is a computer that you can't use either."
"I love technology... but not as much as you, you see."
"If we continue to develop our technology without wise leadership, we will end up with 'uncontrolled' technology."
"I think we've got this thing down to a science: 20% brain, 80% hardware."
"There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX."
"The first rule of technology: whatever can be made to work will be made to work."
"The Internet is just a world passing notes around a classroom."
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"Technology: No place for humanity."
"I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me to digital therapy camps."
"I don’t always test my code, but when I do, I do it in production."
"Just because you're trash doesn't mean you can't do great things. It's called garbage can, not garbage cannot."
"I find that caffeine is the best technology for a working brain."
"Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?"
"The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it."
"In the age of information, ignorance is a choice."
"Technically, a memory is what’s left when everything else is lost."
"I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not so sure."
"I’m not saying I’m the best, but I’m definitely not the worst. Unless it’s about technology."
"Silicon Valley is good at solving problems that don’t exist."
"The best way to predict the future is to invent it. And break your computer while doing it."
"We live in a world where we can communicate with anything and anyone—but we still can’t find our keys."
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"I'm not a complete idiot—some parts are missing."
"The more I read, the more I learn; the more I learn, the more I forget; the more I forget, the less I rush. Isn’t technology amusing?"
"When you put your faith in technology, you must remember it doesn’t always have your back."
"The graveyard of technology is littered with good intentions."
"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers."
"The Internet is like a giant toilet. You can flush everything down it but it comes right back up at you."
"I can’t tell you how many times I’ve tried to charge my phone with a banana."
"Technology is a word that describes something that doesn’t work yet."
"I’m not convinced that computers can think, but I can’t fully convince myself that they can’t."
"Why did the computer keep freezing? It left its Windows open."
"The only problem with troubleshooting is that sometimes trouble shoots back."
"There's a fine line between a numerator and a denominator. Only a fraction of people will get that."
"A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing."
"I may be the only person in the world who can turn a computer off without unplugging it."
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"Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your code will be a violent psychopath who knows where you live."
"I’m not a great programmer; I’m just a good programmer with great habits."
"Why was the computer cold? It left its Windows open!"
"The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat."
"There are worse things than being a computer geek. Like not knowing what a geek is!"
"When I was a kid, I wanted to be a pirate. Now I'm just a 'privateer' of technological innovation."
"My computer brings me a lot of joy, but I also hate it for the many hours I spend waiting for it to load."
"If you don’t understand it, it’s a technology. If you do understand it, it’s a piece of cake."
"The only thing worse than a user who doesn't know what they want is a developer who does."
"I told my computer I needed a break, and it froze."
"Computer: A device designed to speed up the transition of data into error."
"I think the biggest innovation of the 21st century will be the technology that allows us to put a man on the Internet, so he can access data anywhere in the world."
"I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them."
"The only thing worse than Microsoft making everything worse is Apple making everything better."
"The great thing about technology is that it can always be adapted."
"Technology is like a fish. The longer it stays on the shelf, the less desirable it becomes."
"As a programmer, I think of myself as a human 'compiler' – a machine that consumes input and produces output, but sometimes, I get stuck in a loop!"
"How can you tell if a computer is a boy or girl? Boys are always using it to play games while girls use it to talk to people."
"My computer beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing."
"If you think technology can solve your problems, you don’t understand technology and you don’t understand your problems."
"I'm not a techy person; I just want to click my buttons and take my pictures!"
"Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from a rigged demo."
"There are two kinds of people in the world: people who are scared of computers and people who are scared of the people who are scared of computers."
"The internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since the invention of writing."
"Just because you have a smartphone doesn’t mean you’re smart."
"Your phone wants to be your best friend, but sometimes you just want it to leave you alone!"
"I can't tell you how many times I’ve accidentally joined a Zoom meeting after forgetting that I wasn't actually at my job anymore."
"Technology: it makes you want to take a break from technology."
"I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure. Especially when I upgrade my devices."
"Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do 'practice'?"
"The only problem with technology is that it’s too easy to figure out how to use it."
"They say that in the future, everything will be run by robots. I just hope my vacuum cleaner gets a sense of humor first!"
"If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee—that will do them in."
"Even the best computer can’t replace human intelligence. For one thing, it can’t take a hint!"
"The only thing worse than the internet being down is the internet being up and your credit card being used in Montana."
"I think the biggest innovation of the 21st century will be if we can harness the power of angst to create a way to concentrate better."
"The biggest problem with communication is the illusion that it has been accomplished."
"Tech support: What do you need help with? Customer: My computer won’t start. Tech support: Is it plugged in? Customer: I can’t hear it over the sound of my dreams."
"There are two types of people in the world: those who read the terms and conditions and those who click 'agree' without reading."
"I can't tell you how many times I've rebooted my life, but this time seems different."
"Every time I try to have a conversation with my computer, I get more and more frustrated."
"What we really need is a better way of communicating digitally. Maybe we should just send emojis."
"The internet is the first thing that humanity has built that humanity doesn't understand, the largest experiment in anarchy that we have ever had."
"If you think technology can solve your problem, you don’t understand your problem and you don’t understand technology."
"Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do are things that we shouldn’t be doing at all."
"I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me beach wallpapers."
"The real danger is not that computers will begin to think like humans, but that humans will begin to think like computers."
"I fear the day that technology will surpass our human interaction. The world will have a generation of idiots."
"That's the thing about people who think they hate computers. What they really hate is lousy programmers."
"A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history—with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila."
"Good design is as little design as possible."
"There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home."
"I wish I could have a computer for my brain."
"Artificial Intelligence is no match for natural stupidity."
"The worst thing about being a part of the digital age is that you can’t escape it, even if you want to."
"I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure."
"The internet is a great way to get information, but it doesn’t have a lot of good information."
"We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them."
"I think there's a world market for maybe five computers."
"The Internet is just a world passing around notes in a classroom."
"Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius and a lot of courage to move in the opposite direction."
"To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer."
"The first rule of technology used in a business is that automation applied to an efficient operation will magnify the efficiency. The second is that automation applied to an inefficient operation will magnify the inefficiency."
"It’s not a bug – it’s an undocumented feature."
"I don’t care what you think about me. I don’t think about you at all."
"The only thing worse than a poorly designed product is a poorly designed user experience."
"Technology is anything that wasn’t around when you were born."
"I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by."
"If at first you don’t succeed, call it version 1.0."
"There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third one works."
"I keep pressing the space bar, but I'm still on Earth."
"Before software can be reusable it first has to be usable."
"The user is not broken. The user experience is broken."
"The future is already here — it’s just not very evenly distributed."
"I can't believe how much money I make for doing nothing. It's a bad job, but somebody has to do it."
"Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the universe is winning."
"I took an IQ test and the results were negative."
"The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and science."
"It's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years."
"We still do not know one thousandth of one percent of what nature has revealed to us."
"The only reason we have a computer science department is to give job security to computer scientists."
"Computers are like air conditioners. They stop working properly if you open windows."
"If everything seems under control, you’re not going fast enough."
"I've come to the conclusion that the Internet is just a place where people can go to yell at each other and get into arguments with strangers."
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