132 result(s) for Chris Rock Quotes.
"You don’t get what you deserve, you get what you negotiate."
"I love bad ideas. I always have. I wish I had a better idea of how to get rid of the bad ideas, but I don’t."
"There’s a thin line between the world of the living and the world of the dead, and that line is liquor."
"A man is only as faithful as his options."
"You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is white and the best golfer is black."
"If you’re black, you’re the one they ask for the tour."
"I’m not a vegetarian because I love animals. I’m a vegetarian because I hate plants."
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"The only time I get in trouble is when I say too much. I think that's the key to life."
"I think the worst thing you can do about a situation is to do nothing."
"I don't like to burn bridges. But if I have to, I’ll do it in a way that they know I’m pissed off."
"In America, we’re all about the equal opportunity to fail."
"You can’t just say anything; there are consequences."
"Life is all about how you handle Plan B."
"I’ve been in love; I’ve been married, and I’ve been through a divorce. And I’m telling you, it’s overrated."
"When you’re black, you’re a rock star just walking down the street."
"I’m not a doctor; I just play one on TV."
"I’ve learned that you can’t trust anybody who knows everything."
"I’m at a point in my life where I’m not much into ‘what’s happening next.’ I’m just enjoying what I’m doing."
"The secret of success is to be ready when your opportunity comes."
"You can’t keep doing the same thing and expect different results."
"I think that stand-up is like a victory lap for me. It’s just a celebration."
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"You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake."
"There’s a difference between being poor and being broke. Broke is temporary; poor is eternal."
"Some people are so poor, all they have is money."
"I have a new movie coming out, but I’m not going to tell you about it."
"If you don't pay your bills, the lights won't be on."
"Comedy is all about timing and context."
"You don't pay taxes. They take taxes."
"I love being famous. It’s a great job."
"Only a man who has no faith in his woman would ever put his hands on her."
"I was a kid who watched a lot of television. I was an outsider."
"There's a reason why they've been able to animate the Simpsons for so long. They keep it fresh and relevant."
"The best advice I ever got was from my mother: she said, 'Be yourself.'"
"Women are the only people who can bless you with a job!"
"You can’t be a thief and call yourself a businessman."
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"Everybody wants to be famous, but nobody wants to do the work."
"We’re all human, we all make mistakes. We all learn from them."
"You know how you can tell when a guy is a little bit feminine? When he’s got a little bit of a lisp."
"I think the hardest thing about being famous is that everyone knows your business."
"Life is not about how hard of a hit you can give. It's about how many you can take and keep moving forward."
"I’m not a vegetarian because I love animals; I’m a vegetarian because I hate plants."
"There is a thin line between being funny and being mean."
"The only way to get people to listen is to give them some sort of shock to the system."
"A lot of people see me as a comedian first. That’s fine. I see myself as an artist."
"I don’t think America is the greatest, but I think we are the best version of what we were supposed to be."
"You know, when you get older, things change. Like, you don't wanna do the things you did when you were younger."
"There's a huge difference between being rich and being wealthy. Wealth is generational."
"Comedy is the only thing that should be on the cutting edge of politics."
"No one wants to be the punching bag for a room full of people."
"If you can't find something to laugh about, then you're going to find something to cry about."
"If I have to lead a protest, it will be against bad comedy."
"The only reason we're on this planet is to look up to each other and be a part of something bigger."
"A lot of people are not funny, but they know how to tell a joke."
"You can't just be a comedian and not be a social commentator. You have to be both."
"The only thing I can really do is be me. And I try to be the best me I can be."
"I love being famous. It's my favorite thing. It's better than being poor."
"There’s a lot of people out there that are waiting to tell you what you can’t do."
"I think that the biggest thing that I had to learn was how to ignore those negative voices in my head."
"If you can’t laugh at yourself, what’s the point of living?"
"I don’t think of myself as a black man. I think of myself as a man."
"A lot of people are afraid to say what they want. That’s why they don’t get what they want."
"I’m not good at giving advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?"
"We’re all human. We’re all flawed. We just have to learn to get along."
"I think the best way to get people to connect is through laughter."
"You can’t have a good time if you don’t laugh together."
"I can’t help it if I’m funny. It’s what I do."
"Every human being has a right to be heard, to express their point of view."
"Comedy is just a funny way of being serious."
"I love doing comedy, and I'll do it until the day I die."
"The key to success is to be yourself. Unless you’re a jerk."
"I learned the value of hard work from my mom and dad."
"It’s not what you are, it’s who you are that counts."
"People want to be entertained, want to have a good time, but they want something real too."
"I’m just a kid from Brooklyn trying to make people laugh."
"Success is not how high you have climbed, but how you make a positive difference to the world."
"What’s the worst thing that can happen? You can’t be afraid to look silly."
"The world is like a buffet. It’s up to you to choose what to take."
"I try to be honest about myself and my upbringing."
"You have to have a little bit of crazy to do what I do."
"Art imitates life, and that’s what comedy is."
"You don't have to be a genius to be successful. You just have to be a genius at something."
"I think that the worst thing you can do is be a comedy snob. You gotta take it back to the roots."
"I'll never forget the first time I saw a white man in a suit at a black club."
"The worst thing you can call a black man is 'crazy.' It's like the ultimate put-down."
"We all have a lot of rules we don’t even know about."
"I think the best way to gift someone is to make them laugh."
"You know it's bad when you see a white man in the front row at a black comedy show."
"You know what they say, 'If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball!'"
"Comedy is just a way of saying something loud, and it can be funny."
"There's a lot of things I don't understand, like why people celebrate their normal life."
"I love the black people that I know."
"The key to comedy is sincerity."
"As a comedian, I am always trying to figure out the next great artist."
"I don't mind if I don’t make anybody laugh. I’m just glad I found that spot for both of us."
"I think the biggest difference between whites and blacks is that whites think they can dance."
"Life is too short to be serious."
"Pay attention to the people that pay attention to you."
"I think the best way to scare someone is to tell them the truth."
"I love doing stand-up because it gives me the chance to express myself."
"The whole world's a stage; we go on it every day of our lives."
"Comedy is a serious business."
"As people, we tend to take life too seriously."
"I've been on stage so long, I'm afraid I might turn into a plant."
"Make fun of yourself because people will do it anyway."
"A lot of people don’t know that I watch a lot of white shows."
"You don't want an audience. You want an audience that is one mind."
"You don’t got to worry about me, I’m gonna be alright until the day I die."
"I love being famous. It’s honest work. It’s good."
"You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, and the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese."
"There’s a lot of people who aren’t as genetically gifted as this guy, so they’re gonna be mad at him. But it’s not his fault, is it? It’s not his fault he was born that way."
"If you see a black man with a gun, it’s usually a warning to somebody."
"Fat people are harder to kidnap."
"Whatever you do, don’t let them take your smile away. That’s your identity. That’s who you are. Hang on to your smile."
"I used to think I was a nice guy. But when I look back on my life, maybe I was just a guy who didn’t get caught."
"We can’t be afraid to talk about it. I mean, if we’re going to do this, let’s talk about it. You want to be a better person, let’s talk about how to be a better person."
"A man is only as good as his word... But a woman is a whole lot better."
"You can be good, you can be bad, but you gon’ pay for being you."
"The only people who have a problem with it are the people who are miserable. Miserable people love to bring you down to their level."
"People are always telling me, 'Chris, you're crazy!'. And I go, 'Of course I'm crazy. I'm the only sane person in this world!'"
"There is a fine line between a good joke and a bad joke. And I know it, because I tell both."
"I believe in being honest with yourself. You can’t make a way out of no way if you don’t know where you are."
"You can't wake up and say you want to be a comedian. You have to be a comedian. You have to live it."
"The reason I don’t do politics is because politics is about making the right choices in life, and I was terrible at that."
"Black people and white people don’t have the same rights in concert."
"If you’re going to be a good comedian, there’s got to be a pain in your life."
"I have no problem with change, but I think we should look at it in a realistic way."
"I want to show the world what a great dad I am."
"Comedy is the only weapon I have left."
"You can’t trust the people that helped you into the room. You can only trust the people that helped you stay in the room."
"You just have to learn from your mistakes and make the right choices going forward."
"You know what I like about women? They stay in shape when they’re 50. Men fall down when they’re 50."
"Sometimes the bad things that happen in our lives put us directly on the path to the best things that will ever happen to us."
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