130 result(s) for Funny Zoo Quotes.
"If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in bed with a mosquito."
"The lion is not the king of the jungle. The lion is the king of the zoo."
"My favorite animal is the turtle. The turtle is not a snail; it just moves at a different pace."
"I love animals, they’re my favorite people."
"The only good thing about a zoo is that you can bring your own lunch."
"A zoo is a place where animals are put in cages with a license to be stupid."
"I want to be a millionaire just like my dad! He's a zoo animal keeper, and we have a lot of fun!"
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"Why are elephants never invited to parties? Because they always bring their trunks!"
"A zookeeper is a human being who acts as if they’re not susceptible to the charms of a baby elephant."
"Everything the zoo is not: negative, sociopathic, even-borderline psychotic. Nor are they usually a zebra."
"Why don’t lions play cards in the wild? Because they’re afraid of cheetahs!"
"At the zoo, you can be who you are without having to explain why."
"Kissing a monkey might make your day, unless it's a baboon."
"I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug."
"Zebras are the only animals that are a mix between a horse and a pizza."
"You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not a zoo!"
"I really don’t want to go to the zoo, unless they start featuring a ‘crocodile hunter’ exhibit!"
"Why are there so few zoos in the world? Because everyone who believed in them ended up being eaten!"
"Every animal is desirable, but not every animal is unhittable!"
"I went to the zoo the other day, but I got bored. I wanted to see the animals play cards!"
"Just because you’re a lion doesn’t mean you can’t be a kitten at heart."
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"Lions are always the best storytellers; they have the loudest roars, and they are never shy to share their tales."
"A bird may be lifted, but never a fish will fly."
"Watching penguins swim makes me want to dance like nobody is watching."
"Why don't owls use the internet? Because they're afraid of the web!"
"I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not too sure."
"What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator!"
"Why don’t you ever see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re so good at it."
"I wanted to be a zookeeper, but I didn't have enough life experience to handle the lions."
"The only animals that live longer in a zoo than in the wild are the ones that have learned to play dead."
"At the zoo, the lions are really just there for the selfies."
"The giraffes say I’m putting my neck out for this!"
"Zebras don’t get into fights because they don’t want to ‘ruffle’ their stripes!"
"Why did the monkey like the banana? Because it had appeal!"
"A giraffe can clean its ears with its tongue. Isn't that just too gross?"
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"At the zoo, a parrot told me, 'Polly wants a cracker!' I told him, 'Polly wants a job!'"
"Why did the penguin refuse to play cards? Because he was afraid of cheetahs!"
"Why didn't the teddy bear eat dessert? Because it was stuffed!"
"The only thing worse than a lion in a zoo is a lion who likes to tell dad jokes!"
"Zookeepers are like parents: they put up with a lot of nonsense!"
"What’s the smartest animal in the zoo? The zebra, because it’s always right on the line!"
"Why did the sheep go to the zoo? To see the baaaad monkeys!"
"If you think you're too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito."
"My favorite animal is a sloth. I can relate to how they work on their own time!"
"Fish are friends, not food. Unless you season them well!"
"Dogs and cats are not the only ones who deserve love; bring on the meerkats!"
"When I go to the zoo, I like to watch the animals pretend they haven’t seen me before!"
"Why are the elephants at the zoo never invited to parties? Because they can’t stop talking about their trunk!"
"What’s a lion’s favorite candy? A jawbreaker!"
"Why did the cheetah go to the gym? To get in shape for the next marathon!"
"The zoo is a place where you can get a close look at animals that are usually separated from you by miles of wilderness. It’s interesting that there aren’t more cages at the zoo, given that the animals must think humans are the weirdest of all creatures."
"Why do they call it the zoo? Shouldn't it be called an animal prison?"
"I feel like I’m here at the zoo. I’m the only person here without a wild animal on a leash."
"A giraffe is a tall animal with a long neck. This is not a funny fact, it’s just true... but they do have a great view of the world and stand out in any crowd!"
"I think it's just a wonderful joke that you're having to be serious about something I care about, which is the zoo."
"The only thing that stops a bad zoo owner with a gun is a good zoo owner with a gun."
"The best part of going to the zoo is when you get to feed the animals. You not only get to see them up close, but you also get to become part of the exhibition!"
"You don't stop laughing when you grow old, you grow old when you stop laughing at the monkey at the zoo!"
"I can’t believe how much I learned at the zoo today. I had no idea that elephants were that big and that flamingos were that pink!"
"I love zoo animals. I especially love how they show so much personality, even when they just sit around being lions and tigers!"
"Why did the monkey like the zoo? Because it had the best bananas!"
"Lions and tigers and bears, oh my! I'm pretty sure that's how my dating life feels!"
"Anyone who’s ever tried to photograph a monkey knows that they always strike a pose, but it’s usually just before they throw something!"
"Zebras are just horses in pajamas, and who wouldn’t want to wear pajamas while roaming the savannah?"
"Every time I watch the penguins at the zoo, I’m reminded that these guys know how to chill!"
"If you think you can’t find happiness at a zoo, just wait until you see a baby elephant playing with a ball!"
"I don't want to live in a world without zoos. What's next, no candy stores?"
"The most valuable thing in the zoo is not the tickets, but the joy on a child's face seeing a tiger for the first time."
"In the end, animals just want to be treated like the stars they are, especially when at the zoo!"
"Why don’t we ever see elephants hiding in trees? Because they are so good at it!"
"The best zoo is one where the humor is as alive as the animals are!"
"It’s just common sense: if I’m ever chased by a lion, I’ll just run in circles until he gets dizzy!"
"At the zoo, I realized that animals might be smarter than we think, especially when they know how to work a crowd!"
"If you're feeling down, just go to the zoo and smile at the animals. They'll smile back, or at least stare at you like you’ve lost your mind!"
"The great thing about a zoo is you can experience wild life without having to worry about getting eaten!"
"Why did the elephant cross the road? Well, because the chicken needed a ride to the zoo!"
"If you can’t convince them, confuse them."
"The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."
"Why did the chicken join a band? Because it had the drumsticks!"
"I used to be a marauding barbarian, but I became a zookeeper. Now I'm the leader of a bunch of caged animals!"
"You can't tame a wild animal, but you can take a selfie with them."
"Elephants never forget, but they also always forget to remind you that they're big, grey, and heavy."
"Never trust a giraffe—between their long necks and long tongues, who knows what they’re really thinking!"
"Lions are the most narcissistic creature on earth; they look in mirrors about as often as they eat!"
"Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything! But people trust zoo animals; they're usually pretty honest!"
"Zebra stripes are nature's way of saying, 'Look at me! I'm fabulous!'"
"A crowd of sheep doesn't know who the lion is, but the lion definitely knows who they are."
"Koalas are misunderstood; they may look relaxed, but they can climb trees like pros!"
"My pet rock broke, so now I have a new hobby: visiting the zoo."
"Don't be a chicken! Unless you're crossing the road, then please do."
"I wonder if my pet goldfish sees the world as interesting or just another boring bowl."
"Flamingos: proof that you can stand on one leg and still be fabulous!"
"If I were a zoo animal, I’d definitely be a sloth. Slow life, happy life!"
"A panda’s diet: 80% bamboo and 20% being adorable."
"Why do seagulls fly over the ocean? Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be bagels!"
"Giraffes: nature’s highest comedians with the longest punchlines!"
"You can't buy happiness, but you can visit the zoo. It's pretty much the same thing."
"A zookeeper's life is 75% cleaning up after animals and 25% enjoying their shenanigans!"
"I asked the monkey why he liked bananas, and he replied, 'Because they make me a-peel-ing!'"
"Otters hold hands while sleeping so they don’t float away… adorable right? That's the best team bonding!"
"Parrots can talk, but they will never tell you why they sometimes scream!"
"Hippos are just big toddlers who refuse to share their toys!"
"There are only two types of people in the world: those who love to go to the zoo and those who do not really know how to appreciate the beauty of the animal kingdom."
"I want to be like a bear and hibernate for six months a year."
"Why do elephants never use computers? Because they're afraid of the mouse!"
"A zebra can’t change its stripes, but a goat can definitely change its mind."
"The monkeys in the zoo are the most interesting people you’ll meet."
"Zoo: An excellent place for finding it hard to get your kids to leave."
"Animals are such agreeable friends—they ask no questions; they pass no criticisms."
"The agony of my life is never to be found in the zoo."
"I couldn't imagine a better place than the zoo to think about life and how to make it better."
"Going to the zoo is like watching a play—only all the actors are in cages."
"I told my friends to meet me at the zoo. I suspect they won't show up till later. They don’t understand I’m wild about animals!"
"At the zoo, I found my inner child, and wow, it really likes giraffes!"
"There’s nothing quite like a zoo day to remind you how utterly ridiculous life can be."
"What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!"
"The best thing about going to the zoo is being able to express my animal side without judgment."
"Why do they call it a zoo? Because wild animals tangentially elude all our attempts to classify them."
"Visiting the zoo is a great way to get close to nature without the danger of actually being eaten."
"Wild animals are not our enemies. They may see us as food, but it’s all a matter of perspective!"
"Do you think we could train a couple of pigeons to take over for us at the zoo? Worked for the monkeys."
"You know you’re in a zoo when the monkeys are throwing more than just popcorn."
"I wish I could be as carefree as a cat at the zoo. Just lounging around all day!"
"Why did the lion eat the tightrope walker? He wanted a well-balanced meal!"
"Zebras are just horses in pajamas."
"The best place to get inspiration? The panda enclosure!"
"Is it just me, or do animals also look confused when they see us humans?"
"The only difference between a lion and a house cat? One is the king of Queens, and the other is just King of the Couch!"
"Make a zoo calendar: each month, a different animal looking fabulously chic!"
"Going to the zoo can be like visiting 'Nature’s Comedy Club'. You see why they call it a 'wild' life!"
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