130 result(s) for Funny Quotes About Mortgages.
"A mortgage is a great way to turn a home into a bank account, not much different than an HBO series – it’s long, full of drama, and ultimately you’re going to pay for it anyway."
"I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug. But then we signed for a mortgage together."
"A mortgage is just a fancy way of saying 'you own this house' but not really. Just until the bank says you can’t anymore."
"I wanted a house built on love. The bank suggested a mortgage."
"A mortgage: when you can’t buy 'growing old together' without asking the bank for a loan."
"You know you’ve got a mortgage when your ‘dream home’ is actually a 900 square foot apartment."
"I like my money right where I can see it: hanging in my closet… oh wait, that’s my mortgage."
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"A mortgage is like a marriage: it can last a lifetime or just long enough to ruin your weekends."
"I love being a homeowner. My bank account loves being a mortgage slave."
"I’ve realized that a mortgage is just my ticket to adulting – but at the cost of my sanity."
"First we have to take out a loan to buy a house, and then we have to take out another loan just to buy furniture for it. Thanks, mortgage!"
"The only thing scarier than a mortgage is the price of gas."
"Why do I pay a mortgage? Because calling it 'renting from the bank' is just too real for me."
"I was going to pay off my mortgage. Then I realized that made too much sense for my life."
"Buying a house is the only thing that costs more than renting an apartment… but hey, at least it's a mortgage!"
"I thought getting a mortgage was going to help my credit score. Turns out, my instincts were as good as my loan officer’s."
"My mortgage payments are like my ex: Always show up when I least expect them and somehow end up costing me more than I thought."
"I've reached the age where my back goes out more than I do, but that new mortgage payment sure knows how to keep me home."
"When life gives you lemons, just remember that your mortgage company will still expect their lemon payments regardless!"
"If I had a dollar for every time I thought about paying off my mortgage, I could have paid off my mortgage."
"I drown my sorrows in coffee and online mortgage calculations. It’s cheaper than therapy!"
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"Having a mortgage is like riding a roller coaster – exciting at first, until the monthly bills come around!"
"I finally bought a house! Now I just need a loan to pay for my loan!"
"Home is where the heart is. But let’s be honest, it’s also where the mortgage is."
"I had a dream of owning a home. My mortgage company had a dream of keeping me in debt."
"Mortgage: applause for adulting that slowly turns into a standing ovation for financial regret."
"The secret to happiness is low interest rates on your mortgage."
"A mortgage is a great thing if you don’t have to pay for it, but it is the ultimate in financial misery if you do."
"I love a good mortgage payment. It's like a monthly subscription to 'you can't have that money back'."
"The only thing more expensive than a mortgage is a divorce that’s caused by a mortgage."
"Why do they call it a mortgage? Shouldn’t it be a 'money-gorge'?"
"A good mortgage is a series of current monthly payments that will haunt you for years."
"Buying a house is like a game of Monopoly: you end up taking on more mortgages than you planned for."
"My mortgage lender and I have a great understanding: I pay, and they keep reminding me how much I owe."
"A mortgage is a right of passage into adulthood. Welcome to the financial nightmare!"
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"Mortgages are like workout plans: hard to stick to but worth it in the end… sort of."
"If you think mortgages are complicated, try explaining it to your kids when they start asking why you live in fear of the roof leaking."
"Mortgages are like relationships. They start out exciting and end up with you just hoping for no major surprises!"
"A mortgage is an agreement that allows you to enjoy the indoors while the bank enjoys the outdoors."
"The bank is the only entity that can turn your dream home into a nightmare called a mortgage."
"A mortgage is the only thing more terrifying than a horror movie when the bill comes up!"
"Life is too short to take a mortgage seriously. Laugh it off while you complain about it!"
"Thinking about your mortgage for too long can cause emotional distress. Just make your payments and laugh it off."
"Why is it called a mortgage? Because ‘our debt to you’ didn’t quite have the same ring to it."
"The true cost of a mortgage: not just the money, but the years of your life waiting for the house to finally belong to you!"
"In the game of life, a mortgage is just another debt on the way to financial success... or crippling failure!"
"In my house, we consider the mortgage payment the ‘homeowner’s rent’—to the bank."
"They say money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy a house… with a mortgage that’s bound to lead to fewer laughs."
"What do you call a mortgage that never ends? A never-gage!"
"The only thing a 30-year mortgage guarantees is that you won’t be alone in your suffering—hello, community of homeowners!"
"Getting a mortgage is like getting a pet. You take care of it and you’re tied to it for years, but it still doesn’t love you back!"
"Don't worry, the bank will still call you a 'homeowner' even if you're just a 'mortgagor'."
"A mortgage is like love: you can't get it without a bit of commitment."
"My mortgage is like an ex-boyfriend: I keep telling myself I'm going to get rid of it, but somehow I just keep making payments."
"I told my bank I had a great mortgage experience. They laughed and hung up."
"I love my mortgage; it keeps me awake at night."
"A mortgage is the only thing that can make you feel like you’ve got a solid ground to stand on while you’re falling through the floor."
"Mortgages are the adult version of getting a puppy—requires a lot of love, attention, and a surprisingly high budget."
"I wanted to buy a house, but my mortgage said 'no' just like everyone else in my life."
"Getting a mortgage is a rite of passage—kind of like getting a tattoo but with more paperwork."
"I finally paid off my mortgage! Now I only have to worry about my kids’ college tuition!"
"A house is a place where you live; a mortgage is a reminder of how much you owe for it."
"Why do they call it a fixed rate mortgage? Because no matter what you do, it's still going to make you feel fixed in your seat."
"In my next life, I wish to be a mortgage—secure, reliable, and just a little bit confusing."
"They say money can't buy happiness, but it can buy a mortgage, and that's pretty close."
"A mortgage is a contract in which they lend you money to buy a house, then keep charging you until you stop breathing."
"My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch. I call it ‘lunch.’ My least favorite is the mortgage payment."
"When I signed my mortgage papers, I realized the only thing I’m committed to is this debt!"
"Do you ever feel like a mortgage is the universe's way of telling you that adulthood is just expensive?"
"Owning a home is like a hug from a mortgage; it’s cozy, but you're never really free."
"I finally understand why people say 'money talks.' It probably says, ‘I miss my mortgage payments.’"
"The only thing scarier than a horror movie is your mortgage payment due date."
"Every time I pay my mortgage, I feel like I’m paying rent to my bank."
"My mortgage payment is like my ex; always there and never really gone!"
"I bought a house thinking it would make me an adult; turns out, it just made me very poor."
"A mortgage is the universe's way of putting a price on your dreams."
"Why do they call it a 30-year mortgage? Because that’s how long it feels like I have to be an adult."
"I used to think my mortgage was a ‘no strings attached’ situation until I realized they had a choke hold on my finances."
"A mortgage is a legally binding contract that allows a bank to be less reasonable than your ex-wife."
"A mortgage is a fancy way to say ‘you’ll never own anything’."
"The only thing standing between you and your dream home is the money... and the mortgage."
"My mortgage is so big, it requires GPS to find the end."
"Want to know how to make your house warm in the winter? Just take out a mortgage—it'll keep you burning for a long time."
"Is it just me, or is ‘mortgage’ just another word for ‘clearly defined financial regret’?"
"Mortgages: the only time you can be completely broke and still owe a lot of money."
"A mortgage is a long-term agreement to be able to say 'I own a house’, along with the monthly anger payments."
"Why is it called a mortgage? Because 'forever debt' was too on-the-nose."
"When we buy our first house, we don’t know what we’re really signing up for. It’s the adult version of getting tricked into a ‘buy one get one free’ deal."
"Owning a home: the struggle for independence and the lifetime obligation of mortgage payments."
"A mortgage is like a bad relationship: it takes a long time to figure out how to escape."
"My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch. I call it ‘waiting for my mortgage approval’!"
"It’s not a mortgage; it’s a lifestyle choice with a side of stress."
"They say home is where the heart is, but with a mortgage, it’s really just where the debt is."
"A mortgage: the art of balancing a home sweet home with a monthly nightmare."
"My bank loves me so much they gave me a mortgage to show how much they care."
"Every month when the mortgage payment is due, I remember why they call it ‘house poor’!"
"You know you’re an adult when your biggest stressor is your mortgage payment."
"Now I understand why they say a mortgage will keep you warm at night. It's because you're too busy stressing about it to sleep!"
"Homeownership is like a roller coaster. It has its ups and downs, but the mortgage payment is always there waiting at the end."
"Mortgages turn dreams of homeownership into dreams of never ending payments!"
"If I had a dollar for every dollar I owe on my mortgage, I’d only need a dollar to pay it off."
"Getting a mortgage is like playing limbo: how low can you go… before you break your back?"
"Mortgages: because nothing says 'I love you' like being financially tied for 30 years."
"A mortgage is like a psychic; it will predict your future in debt and interest!"
"A mortgage is a loan that you can take out to get a loan that you can’t afford to pay off."
"The only thing worse than a mortgage is a mortgage without a sense of humor!"
"My mortgage is a lot like a marital relationship; sometimes I really don't want to pay it, and sometimes I wonder if I can get out of it!"
"I finally got rid of my mortgage! I did it by pretending it was a last year's model and trading it in."
"I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not too sure. Just like my mortgage decision!"
"Mortgages: the original commitment issues."
"A home is where you can say, 'I owe you!' and not mean it."
"If I had a dollar for every mortgage payment I made, I could pay my mortgage off!"
"My mortgage lender thinks I'm a real big shot. I mean, who else would borrow money to buy a house they can't afford?"
"A mortgage is kind of like a bank loan, except it lasts longer than most relationships."
"Having a mortgage is like owning a pet – it’s a constant commitment and will always cost you money."
"Why did the mortgage go to therapy? It had too many fixed-rate issues."
"Getting a mortgage is like dating: before you know it, you’re tied down and wondering how to get out."
"You know you’re in trouble when your mortgage broker is more trustworthy than your love life."
"A good mortgage is like a reality TV show – it always has dramatic twists you didn’t see coming."
"They say the average mortgage lasts about 30 years, which feels way too close to a life sentence."
"Whenever life gets you down, remember – your mortgage is probably way worse!"
"If I could make my mortgage payments with laughter, I’d be a millionaire!"
"Why do I like mortgages? They keep me humble and in constant debt!"
"People say money can’t buy happiness, but it sure can pay for my mortgage, which makes me slightly happier!"
"If only my mortgage payments were as easy to avoid as my responsibilities!"
"Why did the homeowner break up with their mortgage? They found it too constricting."
"My mortgage is so big it deserves its own area code."
"Buying a house is like marrying money – you get a mortgage and then spend your life paying it off."
"I wanted a house mortgage-free, but I guess that was just a pipe dream!"
"Mortgages: where the grass is always greener a few hundred monthly payments away."
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