121 result(s) for Funny Exercise Quotes.
"I joined a gym and spent 250 bucks on a year’s membership. I don’t work out. That’s my contribution to the economy."
"I’m going to the gym because I think the idea of working out is just as important as actually working out."
"The only bad workout is the one that didn’t happen."
"I was going to work out, but I figured I’d just go back to bed instead. It's less strenuous."
"I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already."
"Exercise? I get it on the set of the TV show when I scroll through channels."
"Yoga class? I thought you said ‘pour a glass’!"
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"I don’t exercise. If God wanted me to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor."
"I took up jogging. I just decided I could do it if I just put one foot in front of the other."
"The gym is a place where all the people that don’t want to be seen come to be seen."
"I like to do my cardio without the sweat. It’s called "
"I work out just to see the smiles on the faces of the people who will eventually see me in a swimsuit."
"I finally got my head together; now my body is falling apart."
"If you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right."
"I don’t run to add days to my life. I run to add life to my days."
"Exercise is a celebration of what your body can do. Not a punishment for what you ate."
"I exercise to relieve stress. Just kidding, I lie down and have a snack."
"If only my kitchen had a treadmill, I’d be in great shape!"
"I lost 10 pounds, but I’m starting to think my scale is broken."
"I ran my first 5K last week. I didn’t win, but I didn’t die either. So, it’s a win."
"I'll be in shape, as soon as I find the right shape for me."
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"When in doubt, work out. When exhausted, order out."
"I hate exercising, but I love having exercised."
"The only workout I enjoy is the one that involves chasing the ice cream truck."
"I do yoga to relieve stress. Just kidding, I drink wine in yoga pants."
"I also exercise my right to remain seated."
"I run like the winded."
"If running is good for your heart, your legs must be in terrible shape."
"I'd workout... but what if I get famous and it's all for nothing?"
"Sweat is just fat crying."
"I thought I was going to die doing push-ups, but then I realized they weren't even my push-ups!"
"I work out because I love my body. I don’t really care about the calories."
"I don't sweat, I sparkle."
"I only run when I'm being chased."
"If you still look good at the end of your workout, you didn't train hard enough."
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"I may not be the fastest, but I can outrun a donut."
"Yoga is like music; a rhythm of the body, a melody of the mind, and the harmony of the soul."
"Eat, sleep, lift, repeat. But mostly eat."
"When I don’t know what to do, I do abs."
"Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth."
"I’m on the patch that is 4% yoga and 96% napping."
"I jogged my memory and found that I’d rather nap."
"You know you’re working hard when your yoga mat looks like it’s been through a car wash."
"I ran out of patience, and it takes effort to recapture it while doing jump squats."
"I really need to workout. But my bed is so comfortable. It's a battle between my bed and my body."
"I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure."
"I exercise because I love my body. I also eat cake because I love my body."
"If you don’t love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?"
"I don’t sweat—I sparkle."
"The only time I run is when I’m being chased."
"Running late counts as exercise."
"I have a condition that prevents me from going to the gym: I’m lazy."
"I'd rather be someone's shot of whiskey than everyone's cup of tea."
"I have a great relationship with my workouts. They don't talk back."
"To me, the idea of burning calories is the only reason to work out—in a bakery!"
"I love running…but only from my responsibilities."
"Gym? I thought you said ‘gin’!"
"I go to the gym because I think my great personality could use a squeeze."
"Yoga class? I thought you said 'pour a glass.'"
"I was going to do a handstand, but I realized this is a safe place, so I decided to just stand on my hands instead."
"My exercise routine consists of doing a lot of ‘nods’ when people talk about working out."
"I work out so I can eat cake."
"Dear abs, I’m sorry, but you are not a priority right now."
"I only work out when I have a reward waiting for me—a.k.a. pizza."
"Running is a great way to see the world... if you're running away from your problems!"
"I'm on the 30-day diet. So far, I've lost 15 days."
"The worst exercise is the one you don't do, but I prefer to exercise my right to remain seated."
"Excuse me while I pout my way through the exercise class."
"I really need to workout. I ate a donut yesterday. Or maybe I’ll just eat another donut to make up for it."
"I’m just a girl, standing in front of a salad, asking it to be a donut."
"The only running I do is chasing the ice cream truck."
"I started doing sit-ups. I found it easier to sit down and just do it."
"If you think lifting is dangerous, try being weak. Being weak is dangerous."
"I don't sweat, I sparkle!"
"My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch. I call it lunch."
"I get my exercise acting like I’m a diva!"
"Sore today, strong tomorrow!"
"I go to the gym because I think my great personality could use a crushing blow."
"Running is a mental sport, and we're all insane!"
"I think my workout routine is all about balance: a cookie in each hand."
"The worst thing I can be is bored. Exercise is too boring. I’ll take a nap instead."
"I love to run... in my dreams!"
"If I had to give up cheese or exercise, I'd choose exercise. Just kidding! Cheese is life."
"I thought about going for a workout, but I decided to take a nap instead. Much more productive!"
"A gym is like a second home – if your second home is a room filled with mirrors and really grumpy people."
"Fitness is like marriage. You can’t cheat and expect it to work."
"The only time I set the bar low is for limbo."
"I’m into fitness... fitting this whole pizza into my mouth!"
"I want to be that person who gets excited about stepping on a treadmill. But until then, I'll just keep dreaming."
"I work out because I love my body, and I also love food."
"You can't buy happiness, but you can buy ice cream, which is kind of the same thing."
"I would lift weights, but I’m not a fan of drama. So I just do the heavy lifting of my emotions instead."
"I wear black to the gym because it’s like a funeral for my fat."
"I told my trainer about my goals. He laughed. Apparently, 'Nike snacks' isn’t a real thing."
"I really need to work on my fitness... I’m currently on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it."
"The only workout I enjoy is the one that involves a lot of coffee and a good book."
"I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing."
"If you're not supposed to eat midnight snacks, why is there even a light in the fridge?"
"My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch... I call it lunch."
"I don’t always squat, but when I do, I make sure there’s a donut involved."
"I could exercise, but I prefer to eat pizza."
"Yoga is just an expensive way to flash your belly."
"Running late counts as exercise, right?"
"I joined a gym and lost 10 pounds. Unfortunately, I found them again."
"I’m on a 30-day diet. So far, I’ve lost 15 days."
"Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?"
"No one ever drowned in sweat."
"I don’t sweat—I sparkle!"
"Exercise? I thought you said extra fries!"
"The only running I do is running out of excuses."
"I go to the gym because I think my great personality could use a banging body."
"I like to think of my diet as a work in progress. Unfortunately, it’s progressing toward a bakery."
"I’m into fitness... fitness whole pizza in my mouth."
"You can’t out-exercise a bad diet. But isn’t that what cheat days are for?"
"When I feel like exercising, I just lie down until the feeling passes."
"Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going... and really, just snacks."
"If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you."
"I'm in shape. Round is a shape."
"I believe that if you think about a workout long enough, you actually burn calories."
"Exercise is a dirty word. Every time I hear it, I wash my mouth out with chocolate."
"I don’t want to sweat, I just want to glow."
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