94 result(s) for Funny T-Shirt Quotes.
"I can't adult today."
"I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won't stop sending me beach wallpapers."
"If you can read this, my cat is sitting on my lap."
"I can't even think straight. I'm a donut person."
"I have a carbon footprint, but it's a straw footprint."
"I’m like a superhero, but with no powers or motivation."
"I'm not short, I'm concentrated awesome."
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"They say laughter is the best medicine. Your face must be curing the world."
"When nothing goes right, go left."
"I can’t believe I’ve been working with this guy for 5 years without knowing he’s a huge fan of cheese and is lactose intolerant."
"I am on a 20-day diet. So far, I’ve lost 10 days."
"I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won't stop sending me Kit Kats."
"I have not yet begun to procrastinate."
"I’m not lazy; I’m on energy-saving mode."
"I'm really just a unicorn in disguise."
"I'm busy...can I ignore you some other time?"
"If you don't like me, lower your standards."
"I may be wrong, but I doubt it."
"They say money talks, but mine just waves goodbye."
"I’m on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already."
"I'm in shape... round is a shape."
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"I would agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong."
"I drink coffee for your protection."
"I’m just a girl, standing in front of a salad, asking it to be a donut."
"I came. I saw. I made it awkward."
"Sarcasm: because beating the crap out of people is illegal."
"I used to be indecisive, but now I’m not sure."
"I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right."
"I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already."
"Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth."
"I can't adult today. Please don't make me."
"Of course I talk to myself; sometimes I need expert advice."
"I'm just a girl, standing in front of a salad, asking it to be a donut."
"I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not too sure."
"I'm a limited edition, just like my T-shirt."
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"Exercise? I thought you said extra fries!"
"I don’t need an inspirational quote, I need coffee."
"All my life I thought air was free...until I bought a bag of chips."
"Napping is a sport and I’m an athlete."
"If I were a superhero, my power would be naps."
"My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do."
"I don’t need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning."
"I'm not short, I'm fun-sized!"
"I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge."
"I came, I saw, I made it awkward."
"If there’s a will, there are 500 relatives."
"Procrastinators unite...tomorrow."
"My brain has too many tabs open."
"I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it."
"I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised."
"I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right."
"Every time I try to eat healthy, a cupcake comes to my house."
"I put the 'pro' in procrastinate."
"Running late is my cardio."
"My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch... I call it lunch."
"I’m not lazy, I’m just on my energy-saving mode."
"Namast'ay in bed."
"If I was meant to be controlled, I would have come with a remote."
"I’m here to avoid friends on Facebook."
"I have a degree in sarcasm."
"Sushi makes me feel beautiful."
"I’m multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time."
"I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me error messages."
"If you think I'm crazy, you should see my friends."
"I’m silently correcting your grammar."
"I don't need an inspirational quote. I need coffee."
"A balanced diet is having a cupcake in each hand."
"I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off."
"I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it."
"I’m not arguing. I’m just explaining why I’m right."
"Coffee: because adulting is hard."
"I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me Kit Kat ads."
"I can’t adult today. Please don’t make me."
"Sometimes I wish I could be a kid again. Skinned knees are easier to fix than broken hearts."
"Sarcasm: my second language."
"I have a nap addiction. I can't help it!"
"I'm not lazy, I'm on energy-saving mode."
"I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong."
"I’m not shy, I’m just holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you."
"Be careful, or you'll end up in my novel."
"I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not too sure."
"In my defense, I was left unsupervised."
"I’m not short, I’m fun-sized!"
"Error 404: Motivation not found."
"I put the ‘Pro’ in procrastinate."
"Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?"
"Behind every great man, there’s a woman rolling her eyes."
"A day without laughter is a day wasted."
"I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already."
"I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off!"
"If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you."
"I don't want to be a product of my environment. I want my environment to be a product of me."
"I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure."
"I have a perfect body, but it's in the trunk and starting to smell."
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