Memorable Funny Quotes From TV Shows

109 result(s) for Funny Quotes From TV Shows.
"I can’t help it if I’m popular."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"I'm ready to be a mom!"
30 Rock
"I'm in a glass case of emotion!"
Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy
"You can't say no to this face!"
Friends
"I’m just a girl standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her."
Notting Hill
"I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once."
The Fault in Our Stars
"It's always sunny in Philadelphia."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
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"I am the one who knocks."
Breaking Bad
"I am not a number. I am a free man!"
The Prisoner
"You know nothing, Jon Snow."
Game of Thrones
"Just because I’m not talking doesn’t mean I’m not thinking."
The Office
"It’s a good day to be a good day."
The Office
"You know what they say: Fool me once, strike one. But fool me twice... strike three."
The Office
"SIMPSONS DID IT!"
South Park
"I don't need a weapon; my voice is my weapon."
The Simpsons
"Live long and prosper."
Spock, Star Trek
"I coulda been a contender."
Marlon Brando, The Simpsons (parody)
"I’m not a psycho, I’m a high-functioning sociopath."
Sherlock Holmes, Sherlock
"Just one more thing..."
Columbo, Columbo
"You got it, dude!"
Michelle Tanner, Full House
"I can't believe I’m saying this, but I think I’m in love."
Ross Geller, Friends
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"To infinity and beyond!"
Buzz Lightyear, Toy Story (also quoted in various shows)
"You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take."
Wayne Gretzky, quoted by Michael Scott, The Office
"I'm not a bad guy. I’m just a bit misunderstood."
Michael Scott, The Office
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by."
Douglas Adams, referenced in many shows
"That’s what she said!"
Michael Scott, The Office
"There's a fine line between a numerator and a denominator. Only a fraction of people will get that."
The Big Bang Theory
"Happiness is a warm puppy."
Charles M. Schulz, referenced in Peanuts
"Bazzinga!"
Sheldon Cooper, The Big Bang Theory
"You know what they say: 'Third time's a charm.' So, here's my third time trying not to screw this up."
Jess Day, New Girl
"You’re fired!"
Donald Trump, The Apprentice
"I am serious… and don’t call me Shirley."
Dr. Rumack, Airplane! (often quoted in TV)
"So I says to the guy, 'That’s not a pencil, that’s my wife’s leg!'"
Some references in comedy shows
"I feel like I’m taking crazy pills!"
Mugatu, Zoolander (also referenced in various shows)
"We're all in this together."
High School Musical (taken humorously in various shows)
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"You can’t put a price on being a winner."
Tony Stark, The Avengers
"I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it."
Unknown, often attributed to various sources
"I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by."
Douglas Adams, frequently referenced in various TV shows
"I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right."
Unknown, often attributed to various shows
"Why don’t we take a break? Let’s get a burger."
Megan, Mad Men
"I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’m getting a little bored over here."
Megan Draper, Mad Men
"I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized that the other day inside my fort."
Zach, Saved by the Bell
"It's like all my kids grew up and then I didn't have any kids. So I got a dog. And I named him Dog."
Unknown, often attributed to various sitcoms
"I’m not a regular mom, I’m a cool mom!"
Mrs. George, Mean Girls
"I’m gonna make him an offer he can’t refuse."
Vito Corleone, The Godfather
"Sometimes you just have to throw on a crown and remind them who they're dealing with."
Unknown, often cited from various shows
"I have no idea what I’m doing, but I’m really good at it."
Unknown, often referenced in many comedies
"You can't make everybody happy. You're not a taco."
Unknown, often cited in comedies
"There's no 'I' in team, but there is a 'me' if you jumble it up."
Unknown, used in many series
"I am running away from my responsibilities. And it feels good."
Unknown, often cited in sitcoms
"I’m not a smart man, but I know what love is."
Forrest Gump, Forrest Gump
"The only thing better than a glass of wine is two glasses of wine! Oh, wait, that's not true."
Miranda Bailey, Grey's Anatomy
"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars."
Oscar Wilde, often quoted in various shows
"If you can't beat them, join them. If you can't join them, beat them."
Unknown, commonly cited in humor
"I’m not a doctor, but I play one on TV."
Unknown, commonly used in TV and marketing
"I don't need a therapist. I have a dog."
Unknown, often quoted in TV sitcoms
"I don't trust anyone who doesn't like tacos."
Unknown, often cited in comedies
"I’m pretty much just a regular person who happens to have a thousand followers on Instagram."
Unknown, often mentioned in social media contexts
"I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitious."
Michael Scott, The Office
"How you doin'?"
Joey Tribbiani, Friends
"It's always a good idea to ask yourself, what would a wise person do?"
Marge Simpson, The Simpsons
"D'oh!"
Homer Simpson, The Simpsons
"I’ve made a huge mistake."
Gob Bluth, Arrested Development
"That's what she said."
Michael Scott, The Office
"I am Beyoncé, always."
Devon Banks, 30 Rock
"Clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose."
Eric Taylor, Friday Night Lights
"You can't keep blaming yourself. Just blame yourself once and move on."
Homer Simpson, The Simpsons
"The truth is out there."
Fox Mulder, The X-Files
"It's not a lie if you believe it."
George Costanza, Seinfeld
"When you assume, you make an ass out of you and me."
Ricky, The Office
"I’m not good at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?"
Chandler Bing, Friends
"I am the one who knocks!"
Walter White, Breaking Bad
"You either die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain."
Harvey Dent, Gotham
"That's not my job."
Michael Scott, The Office
"Every time I try to put my foot down, my foot is too big to fit."
Frasier Crane, Frasier
"I want to be where the people are."
Ariel, The Little Mermaid (often quoted in a humorous sense)
"We were on a break!"
Ross Geller, Friends
"I remember when I was a kid, and I was told I could be anything. So I became a doctor."
Dr. Nick Riviera, The Simpsons
"I can't believe you can't believe it!"
Kristin Schaal as Mel, Bob’s Burgers
"If you want to be in love, you have to get out of the apartment."
Liz Lemon, 30 Rock
"This is why we can't have nice things."
Michael Scott, The Office
"Love is not a science; it's an art!"
Fred Figglehorn, Fred: The Movie (often quoted humorously)
"We’re having a baby. It’s a bit like having a pet, but with a higher risk of drowning."
Phil Dunphy, Modern Family
"I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious."
Michael Scott, The Office
"I don’t want to be a product of my environment. I want my environment to be a product of me."
Frank Costanza, Seinfeld
"That's what she said!"
Michael Scott, The Office
"Did I do that?"
Steve Urkel, Family Matters
"I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already."
Tommy, Cheers
"It’s like all my life everyone has always told me, 'You’re special.' Well, now I think they were just being polite."
Schmidt, New Girl
"I’m a princess, and I know what I want."
Daphne, Frasier
"I’m not saying I’m the best, but I can definitely beat the best."
Sterling Archer, Archer
"I’m reasonably certain that there’s a lot of things I can’t tell you."
Leslie Knope, Parks and Recreation
"Everything’s coming up Milhouse!"
Milhouse Van Houten, The Simpsons
"Why don’t they just make the whole plane out of the black box?"
Michael Scott, The Office
"I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I think I might be a little bit smarter than you."
Sheldon Cooper, The Big Bang Theory
"Sometimes, you have to take a leap of faith first. The trust falls later."
Penny, The Big Bang Theory
"You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline."
Jerry, Parks and Recreation
"You know what they say, 'Once you go black, you never go back.'"
Eddie Murphy, Saturday Night Live
"Of course I talk to myself; sometimes I need expert advice."
Tina Fey, 30 Rock
"I am so smart, S-M-R-T! I mean S-M-A-R-T!"
Homer Simpson, The Simpsons
"You’re a special snowflake. You’re the most special snowflake of them all."
Bernard, The Santa Clause
"I have no idea what I’m doing, but I’m doing it really well."
George Costanza, Seinfeld
"There’s nothing wrong with being a loser. It just depends on how good you are at it."
Margo, The Office
"I was trying to be a better person. It almost ruined my life!"
Ted Mosby, How I Met Your Mother
"You know, there's a fine line between a hero and a villain."
Amy Santiago, Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Please do not interrupt me while I'm interrupting you."
Jean Ralphio, Parks and Recreation
"I’m not a failure, I’m a success that didn’t succeed."
Jake Peralta, Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"The trouble with being punctual is that nobody’s there to appreciate it."
Frank Costanza, Seinfeld
"Meh. It’s a good word. You should use it more."
Marge Simpson, The Simpsons
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