129 result(s) for Funny Quotes About Witches.
"I'm not a witch, I'm your wife!"
"When the moon is full, you can see the witches fly. But when the sun is out, they just look like really enthusiastic housekeepers."
"There's a witch in my family. Don't worry, she has a good sense of humor—she just casts spells instead of telling jokes."
"Witch: a woman who is boundary-pushing and fearless. Also known as my mom."
"I put a spell on you, and now you're mine. Unless you find a better deal on Amazon."
"If you can't fly with the big witches, stay off the broomstick."
"You call it chaos; I call it family!"
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"Witches be like: It’s not a phase, it’s my whole life!"
"I’d rather be a witch than a princess. Witches can actually do things!"
"A witch is a woman with a cauldron. A chef is a woman with a kitchen. I know which one I'm more afraid of!"
"If you've never seen a witch dance in the moonlight, you haven't lived... or you've been stuck in the office too long!"
"Don't make me turn you into a frog. I do not have the patience to turn you back."
"On Halloween, all the witches come out to play. Just don’t ask us to do your laundry!"
"Why did the witch break up with her boyfriend? Because he couldn't handle her broomstick skills!"
"I'm just a broomstick away from a fabulous evening!"
"The best part of being a witch is that you can always say it’s magic when you don’t want to explain something."
"I'm here for the cauldron, not the drama!"
"Witchcraft: just a fancy way to earn a living from home with questionable skills!"
"Magic is just science that we don’t understand yet—so let’s not overthink it!"
"Why don’t witches use hair conditioner? Because they always have a ‘bad hair day’!"
"If you think being a witch is all black cats and broomsticks, you haven’t met my aunt!"
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"You know you’re a witch when your favorite spell is 'abracadabra, I need coffee!'"
"Never underestimate the power of a witch with a caffeine dependency!"
"Just because I’m a witch, doesn’t mean I don’t like a good pun!"
"All the magic in the world won’t help if you can’t take a good joke!"
"Witches have the best costumes. And they brew tea like a boss!"
"A witch never gets old. She just gets more experienced."
"You can't make everyone happy. You're not a cupcake... you're a witch!"
"When witches go riding, and black cats are seen, the moon laughs and whispers, 'Tis near Halloween."
"You think I'm a witch? I prefer to think of myself as a 'weather controller'."
"Witching is a whole mood, and I’m living for it."
"The only thing I love more than being a witch is being a witch with my friends."
"Don’t make me use my witchcraft powers!"
"I went to a witch yesterday. She told me what I would be doing tomorrow. I said, 'No way, that's way too boring.'"
"Life is too short to not be a little witchy."
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"I don't need therapy. I have a cauldron."
"Underestimate me. That'll be fun. I'm a witch!"
"Witch: A woman who knows not only how to take off her clothes but also how to take off her mask and hang it on a broomstick."
"I’m a witch. I bring my own magic."
"A good witch is like a sturdy broom, ready to sweep you off your feet."
"Some of my best friends are witches."
"The only spell I know is 'Spell check'."
"If at first you don’t succeed, try doing it the way a witch told you to."
"Magic is all around us, but so is chaos. That's what makes a witch."
"Why be moody when you can shake your booty? Unless you're a witch, then you might want to cast a spell instead."
"I'm just a girl standing in front of a girl, asking her to cast a spell on her."
"Witchcraft: the best way to get what you want when your charm doesn't work."
"If I were a witch, I’d cast a spell to always keep my coffee warm."
"I hear you like my broomstick. Can I ride it sometime?"
"Real witches don't wear black; they wear whatever colors they want. Fashion is magic!"
"You think witches are scary? Just wait until you see us without our morning coffee!"
"I put a spell on you because you're mine."
"Witch: A woman who has enchanted the world."
"I'm not a witch; I'm your wife!"
"I'm a witch, not a miracle worker!"
"If it's a witch you want, I can conjure one up in a heartbeat."
"Witchcraft is the most fun you can have without a broom.,"
"A witch's favorite subject in school? Spelling!"
"Never let a witch go hungry. She’ll only brew trouble."
"Some people ask if I'm a witch. I just say I'm a retro enthusiast."
"If I were a witch, I would be casting good spells for everyone."
"Witchcraft: When you can't find a cat to sit on your lap."
"Eating a witch is just a bit too close to cannibalism for me."
"When life hands you pumpkins, make pumpkin spice lattes! - The Witches"
"I was going to be a bad witch, but my cat ate my spellbook."
"I have a 'no bad vibes' policy, but if you’re a witch, I can make an exception."
"Why are witches so good at math? Because they know their hexes!"
"You can't scare me. I’m a witch with an online shop!"
"What do you get when you cross a witch and a snowman? Frostbite!"
"Why do vampires make terrible witches? Because they can’t find the right spell!"
"A witch without her broom is like a fish without a bicycle."
"I’d like to be a witch. A good one, of course. Preferably with a huge cauldron."
"I’m not a regular witch; I’m a cool witch!"
"What do you call a witch who is bad at magic? A ‘which’!"
"Always be yourself, unless you can be a witch. Then always be a witch!"
"Getting older doesn’t scare me, but running out of potions does!"
"I put a spell on you because you’re mine."
"You say witch like it's a bad thing."
"A witch is simply a woman who has discovered her power."
"Witches don’t do the dishes."
"Witchcraft is the magic of the mundane."
"I’m not a witch; I’m your wife!"
"I’m just a witch in search of a good great-grandson!"
"A good witch is a happy witch!"
"Happiness is a cup of coffee and a good book, or a good spell—whichever comes first."
"Never trust a skinny witch."
"I love Halloween, and I love witches!"
"I can only be blamed so much for a bad relationship; the witch in me is flaky!"
"Witches are like stars; they can’t shine without darkness."
"A little bit of mischief goes a long way for a witch!"
"Don't make me hex you!"
"I might look like an angel, but I can be a real witch!"
"If you can't handle me at my broomstick, you don't deserve me at my cauldron."
"I'm a witch when it comes to cleaning—my spells don’t work on dust!"
"Grumpy witch? More like a caffeine-deprived witch!"
"A witch never reveals her secrets, even if she burns the toast!"
"Being a witch is the best job in the world; I just wish the pay was better!"
"Why do witches fly on broomsticks? Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy!"
"Witchcraft is more than just a good laugh; it's a great way to make friends!"
"I don't need a cauldron; just give me coffee and I’ll brew you a spell."
"What do you call a witch who can’t stop telling jokes? A pun-derful sorceress!"
"Every witch needs a theme song, and mine is 'No More Mr. Nice Guy.'"
"Witch? I prefer the term 'unconventional life coach.'"
"I’m not a witch, I’m your wife! And after what you just said, I’m not even sure I want to be that anymore."
"I’d rather be a witch than a superhero. At least witches can fly with style!"
"I’m a witch in the streets and a mouse in the sheets."
"You know you’re a witch when you can make your own broom fly."
"I’d make a terrible witch. I’d never remember to say the spell right or what ingredients to use!"
"The only potion I know is strong coffee."
"To be a witch means you know your way around a cauldron, but sometimes you just have to go to the kitchen."
"If you think I look like a witch, you should see me on Monday mornings."
"I put a spell on you... and now you’re mine. Just kidding! I’m just trying to get through the week!"
"Forget the haters. You're a witch and it's hard work!"
"A witch doesn’t need a man. She has her own broomstick!"
"Why do witches always look so good? They know how to work their charms!"
"Witchcraft: the art of making all your dreams come true with a sprinkle of good humor."
"I'm not saying I'm a witch, but I have been known to turn a bad day into a good one."
"Sure, I might be a witch, but my housecleaning skills are magical!"
"They told me I could be anything, so I became a witch. That’s a power move!"
"I don’t need a crystal ball to know that last night's party was a magical mess!"
"When life gives you lemons, make yourself a potion instead."
"Some days, I just want to hang out with my cat and do witchy stuff. Is that too much to ask?"
"A witch's brew is just another name for a strong cup of tea."
"The hardest part about being a witch is making sure your potions taste good!"
"Why don’t witches get along with kids? Because they have too many spells to cast!"
"All's fair in love, war, and being a witch!"
"Witchin’ ain’t easy, but someone’s got to do it!"
"Witches: putting the 'fun' in dysfunctional since ancient times."
"I used to be a witch, but I never got the hang of the flying part. So now I just drive."
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