131 result(s) for Funny Quotes About Vegas.
"What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Except for herpes. That shit'll come back with you."
"I don't gamble, but I’m very good at playing poker with my life."
"The only time I set the bar low is for limbo."
"Vegas is like a buffet: if you don't eat it all, you're gonna be hungry later."
"In Vegas, you’re not really an adult until you’ve lost a significant amount of money."
"I’ve been to the top of the Stratosphere. It’s a great place to contemplate your life choices."
"Las Vegas is the only place I know where it’s definitely not the khakis that make you feel like a fool."
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"Vegas is a city built on excess. Just look at their buffet lines."
"Las Vegas is the only place where you can be in bed with your husband and your girlfriend at the same time."
"You can’t choose your family, but you can choose your friends to go to Vegas with."
"My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch. I call it lunch."
"I went to Vegas and I lost my wallet. Thanks, Vegas!"
"They say what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. I say what happens in Vegas costs a lot more than you think."
"Life is like a trip to Vegas. You’re going to have fun, but you’ll probably regret it at some point."
"In Vegas, everyone is a winner! Except for the people who go home broke."
"Las Vegas: where the chips are not just for the games."
"Only in Vegas can you find a rich man who looks like a poor man and a poor man who looks like a rich man."
"Vegas: the only place where the drinks are free, the friends are questionable, and the luck is a myth."
"I thought about going to Vegas to better myself, but then I thought if I was better I wouldn’t need to go to Vegas."
"Las Vegas is a place where you can’t find a good husband, but you can sure find a good time."
"You know you’re in Vegas when the cocktails come out before you even check in."
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"In Vegas, it’s not the destination; it’s the drinks and the debt."
"The only thing that beats a good night out in Vegas is waking up the next morning to find out you didn’t get married!"
"Las Vegas is the kind of town that will drive you crazy if you let it, but if you embrace it, you’ll have the time of your life."
"Vegas is the place where people forget their troubles… and often their names."
"In the end, as long as you come home with stories, you’ve won. Right?"
"What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Except for bad decisions, those are a guarantee."
"I love Vegas. The way they treat you, the way you can lose your money and keep your dignity."
"Vegas is the only place I know where you can find a high-stakes poker room and a buffet, all in the same hour."
"In Vegas, you can play blackjack and lose your shirt. But you can always toss it into the air, and someone will catch it!"
"What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. But the stuff you may see on the internet? That lasts a lifetime."
"I’m not sure how many times I have been to Vegas. You know, I can never quite remember the number."
"Vegas is a place where you can take the drinks away from the bar, but they can't take the memories away from you."
"Vegas is the only place where I can finally look like a millionaire … until the bill comes."
"Going to Vegas is like going to a buffet; you want to sample everything, but you usually end up regretting it later."
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"I've seen a lot of things in Vegas. They're often best left unspoken."
"I don’t always gamble, but when I do, I prefer to do it in Las Vegas. Also, I don’t always lose, but when I do, I prefer to do it quickly."
"Las Vegas is a city of excitement, but also a city of regret and hangovers."
"I heard that in Vegas, the energy never dies … until your debit card does."
"In Vegas, the chips are not made of gold. They’re made of broken dreams."
"What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas… unless you leave a voicemails."
"In Las Vegas, you can get married by Elvis and not know it until you're on the bus ride back home."
"If you really want to mess with someone, take them to Vegas and abandon them at a blackjack table."
"There's only two ways to leave Vegas: someone has to drag you out or you wake up in an airport."
"I love Vegas! It's everything I love about life — and also some things I don't!"
"Remember, in Vegas, all that glitters is not gold… it might just be shiny plastic."
"The first rule of Vegas: what happens in Vegas goes on a T-shirt."
"The only thing you have to leave in Vegas is your financial stability."
"You haven't truly lived until you've explored the 'off-the-strip' options of Vegas, where the buffets await."
"Las Vegas is the place where some can turn into the best version of themselves and others can disappear altogether."
"In Vegas, it's not a bachelorette party until someone's lost their shoes."
"You can learn a lot about life from Las Vegas: mainly, you can lose it all in just one hand."
"Everyone wants to go to Vegas until they see an ATM with a long line."
"What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. Except for herpes. That shit'll come back with you."
"Vegas is the only place I know where you can be financially broke and still have a good time."
"I'm not sure if I was kissed in Vegas, but I definitely bought a drink for a stranger."
"Vegas without luck is like a casino without a blackjack table."
"I thought I was going to Vegas for the gambling, but I ended up there for the buffets."
"Vegas is like a buffet. You go in thinking you’re going to sample a bit from every dish… and end up eating four platefuls of whatever you liked best."
"In Vegas, there are two things you can always count on: the drinks and your love for them will be bottomless."
"Whatever happens in Vegas, may or may not be recorded for posterity."
"I love Vegas because I get to feel like a millionaire without actually being one."
"They say money talks. In Vegas, it screams."
"Vegas is the only place where you can get hot chocolate and a lap dance at the same time."
"Life is a gamble and Vegas is the house."
"I don’t always gamble in Vegas, but when I do, I always lose."
"In Vegas, it’s not about the winning or losing, it’s about the experience of pretending you know how to play the game."
"Vegas is a place where you can buy a drink for fifty bucks, but waiting for a cab is the real gamble."
"Why did I come to Vegas? To blow my life savings in ten minutes or less."
"The only thing worse than the hangover is realizing you left the casino with zero chips."
"If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the problem. And that problem is Vegas."
"I love Vegas for the shows, but I stay for the regret."
"Someone once said what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. But my bank account disagrees."
"They say that ‘What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.’ But is that really the truth?"
"The only thing that’s never lost in Vegas is your sense of absurdity."
"I left my heart in Vegas, but I also left a small fortune."
"In the game of life, Vegas is the slot machine that keeps hitting,” "
"It’s a good thing they have those free drinks in Vegas, otherwise you might faint from the price of everything else."
"You’re a better gambler than you are a lover if you can outlast the drinks."
"What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Except for herpes. That shit'll follow you home."
"Vegas is the only place I know where you can catch a cold and miss a flight in the same day."
"I’m not saying I’m Superman, but no one has ever seen me and Batman in a room together in Vegas."
"In Vegas, you can be whoever you want to be. As long as you bring your own money!"
"What happens in Vegas... is usually on the internet the next day."
"I found out what my dad was doing in Vegas when he was there. He was winning money off my mom's birthday!"
"Vegas is a city built on a promise: a promise of a night you won't remember and a hangover you won't forget."
"Las Vegas is like a buffet. You might not remember what you enjoyed, but you know you had a great time."
"I don’t have a gambling problem. I have a winning problem!"
"If you can’t afford to go to Vegas, you can’t afford to win at Vegas."
"I love Vegas. I can get from my room to the casino without ever seeing the light of day. It’s like Disneyland for adults."
"They say that money talks, but in Vegas, it just whispers sweet nothings."
"I've tried to be good, but it's hard to resist the siren song of the slots."
"In Las Vegas, you can be the king of the world for a weekend. Just don’t forget to check out by noon."
"Las Vegas: the city that never sleeps because everyone's too busy losing money."
"Forget the buffet; my favorite Vegas food is the 'pinky promise' I made at the blackjack table."
"You know you're in Vegas when you see Elvis at a wedding and a mime in the same block."
"I thought about making a life change this year, but then I realized the only thing that needs changing is my slot machine!"
"They say money can’t buy happiness, but it can get you a front-row seat to the next great Vegas show!"
"I went to Vegas for the gambling, the shows, and the nightlife—then I just realized it was mostly the buffet."
"At some point, we all need to realize that the only jackpot in this life is the friends we make in Vegas."
"Vegas is the kind of place where even your bad decisions come with a good story."
"If life gives you lemons, trade them for chips in Vegas."
"Vegas is the perfect place to let go of your inhibitions, even if it costs you a fortune!"
"You know you’re in Vegas when you see a guy in a tuxedo and a woman in a wedding dress 10 minutes after the last call."
"In Vegas, the only thing that's more unpredictable than the roulette wheel is the weather."
"I don’t gamble, but I do use a lot of money to finance my aspirations in Vegas."
"The best part about Vegas is that it's a place where you can lose everything and laugh about it the next day."
"What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas; unless you forget to leave the hotel, then it’s just a funny story."
"I went to Vegas and all I got was this lousy t-shirt and a whole lot of regrets!"
"In Vegas, the chips are not just for gambling; they're also great for tossing at bad performers!"
"If you can't find me in Vegas, I'm probably hiding behind a drink!"
"Vegas: where you can spend a weekend being as clever or as stupid as you like."
"Las Vegas is the only place I know where I can spend $100 on breakfast and not even get an omelet."
"Vegas is the only place where you can fall asleep in a fortune cookie."
"My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch... I call it lunch - preferably in Vegas!"
"Las Vegas: The place where you can have a wild night and still claim to have lost your phone!"
"I told my husband that if I ever got lost in Vegas, he should check the nearest buffet."
"In Vegas, you can wear anything you want - and probably should!"
"I tried to never stare at places I shouldn’t in Vegas, but the lights were inescapable!"
"They say what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, but my bank account disagrees."
"My favorite part of Vegas is that you can act like someone else for a night - preferably a millionaire!"
"Nothing says keep it classy like a Vegas wedding in a drive-thru chapel."
"In Vegas, the hustle starts the moment you land - and sometimes the hangover last longer than the race!"
"I’m not saying I’m a high roller in Vegas, but I did once roll a little too high and ended up in a fountain."
"I think losing my money in Vegas counts as a cultural experience."
"Why do they call it Sin City? Because you can sin so hard you forget where you parked!"
"In Vegas, I tried to be good, but the slot machines kept calling my name!"
"Once you go to Vegas, you realize it’s just a grown-up version of a carnival with better drinks."
"I love Vegas! It’s the only place you can be up at 3 a.m. drinking and eating and it’s totally acceptable."
"Going to Vegas is like going to Disneyland for adults - the fun never really stops, and the prices always shock you!"
"I went to Vegas for a weekend and all I got was this astonishing ability to tell bad stories!"
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