112 result(s) for Funny Cooking Quotes.
"I’m on the patch right now. It’s in the shape of a pizza."
"My cooking is fabulous, even the smoke alarm is cheering me on."
"I don’t know how to cook, but I can microwave like a pro."
"I’m just a girl, standing in front of a salad, asking it to be a donut."
"There is no ‘we’ in food."
"If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen!"
"Cooking is a form of love and also a great way to meat people."
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"You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not pizza."
"Food is like sex; when you abstain, you have serious cravings."
"First we eat, then we do everything else."
"I'm not a chef, I'm a cook — there's a difference!"
"I would venture to guess that Anon, who wrote so many poems without signing them, was often a woman."
"Life is too short to eat boring food."
"Never trust a skinny chef."
"I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised."
"Cooking is like love; it should be entered into with abandon or not at all."
"Cooking: It’s a love affair with your food."
"Chef: A title given to a person who leads a team of cooks in a restaurant, just as a general leads a team of soldiers in battle."
"I love to eat. I could eat in a lot of places and often do."
"The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe, eat cake."
"Cooking is a way of coping with life."
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"Food is an important part of a balanced diet."
"I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile. Then walk into a pole."
"All I ever wanted was love, a nice house, and a good cookbook."
"Laughter is brightest where food is."
"I am not a chef. I’m a cook."
"The secret to cooking is that there is no secret. It's about the love of good food."
"You don't have to be a chef to be a good cook, but it helps to have a good sense of humor!"
"I tried to be a chef once, but I kept burning the toast. So now I'm just a sandwich artist."
"Cooking is at once child’s play and adult joy. And cooking done with care is an act of love."
"My cooking is fabulous even the smoke alarm cheers me on."
"Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie."
"You can't make everybody happy. You're not pizza!"
"Let's be honest: half the reason we eat is to forget about our problems. The other half is dessert."
"Cooking means always having to say you’re sorry."
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"When I'm cooking, I'm in my happy place. Which is why I burn my toast."
"I can't cook. No one has died yet, but there’s always a chance!"
"Cooking is like a relationship; you have to give it time and attention!"
"To live well is to eat well."
"There's no better friend than a good cookbook."
"I like to cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food!"
"I can’t cook. I’m not a chef. I’m a cook. I can do it on a TV show, but I can’t do it in my own house."
"I’ve been on a diet for two weeks and all I’ve lost is two weeks."
"I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food."
"Cooking is a great way to show someone you care."
"I never met a calorie I didn't like."
"I’m on the patch right now – two years sober. I’m a huge fan of Tupperware. I’ll never have too many spatulas."
"Cooking with kids is not just about ingredients, recipes, and cooking. It's about harnessing imagination, empowering creativity, and building self-esteem."
"I do most of the cooking. My wife is a gourmet chef. I’m a gourmet eater."
"If you're afraid of butter, use cream."
"You don't need a silver fork to eat good food."
"I could tell you my favorite way to eat vegetables, but you might decide to quit cooking for good."
"My cooking is fabulous even if this meal is just a little burnt."
"Bake a cake for a new friend, and it’s an overture. Bake a cake for a longtime friend, and it’s a tribute."
"You can't make everyone happy. You are not a taco."
"Food is our common ground, a universal experience."
"Age and glasses of wine should never be counted."
"I don’t measure success in terms of money. I measure it in terms of how many cakes I can carry at once."
"I just want to be able to eat cake on a regular basis."
"A recipe is a story that ends with a good meal."
"I'm a bakeaholic on the road to recovery. Just kidding. I'm on the road to the bakery."
"My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch... I call it lunch."
"There's no better feeling in the world than a warm pizza box on your lap."
"You can't buy happiness, but you can buy pizza, and that's kind of the same thing."
"I am a better cook than I am a housekeeper!"
"I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks."
"The secret of success in the kitchen is to have no secrets."
"People who love to eat are always the best people."
"Cooking is 12 parts joy and 8 parts terror."
"I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it."
"Good food is the foundation of genuine happiness."
"I wish I could cook. I can make toast, but that’s about it."
"Eat food, not much, mostly plants."
"Cooking is an art, but the kitchen is a science."
"My cooking is fabulous, even the smoke alarm cheers me on."
"You don’t have to cook fancy or complicated masterpieces – just good food from fresh ingredients."
"No one is born a great cook, one learns by doing."
"The only time to be positive you have a clear path is when you’re on the edge of a cliff."
"Cooking can be a fun activity, especially when you get to eat the finished product!"
"A recipe has no soul. You, as the cook, must bring soul to the recipe."
"Cooking is like magic, it happens in the kitchen!"
"If at first, you don’t succeed, order pizza."
"Life is what you bake of it."
"Good food is indeed a key ingredient to good living."
"I followed my heart and it led me to the fridge."
"The four most beautiful words in our common language: I told you so."
"Cooking is like love. It should be entered into with abandon or not at all."
"I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food."
"Ice cream is exquisite. What a pity it isn’t illegal."
"I am on the patch for the cooking show 'I Can't Cook' - I'm trying to work my way up to 'Barefoot Contessa'."
"If you’re not supposed to eat midnight snacks, why is there even a light in the fridge?"
"There is no sincerer love than the love of food."
"First, we eat. Then, we do everything else."
"A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand."
"I’m just someone who likes cooking and for whom sharing food is a form of expression."
"Life is too short for self-hating food."
"Good food is good mood."
"I’m in a love affair with food."
"Cooking is like love. You have to have a good time!"
"I wish I had a live chicken in my backyard, 'cause it would be good for the heart."
"If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen."
"I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender."
"I love to cook with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food."
"You can't make everyone happy. You're not pizza."
"Cooking is a great way to show someone you care about them."
"I don't need an excuse to eat cake; I'm in any time!"
"Food is my love language."
"The only thing I like better than talking about food is eating."
"Cooking with kids is fun; you can burn things, play with mess, and not worry about who sees it."
"Never cook bacon in the nude."
"The secret ingredient is always cheese."
"If you think you’re too small to be effective, you have never been in bed with a mosquito."
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