109 result(s) for Funny Pet Quotes.
"To err is human, to forgive, canine."
"I work hard so my dog can have a better life."
"Every dog is a lion at home."
"Buying a pet is an admission that you're not ready to be a parent."
"The dog is the God of frolic."
"I have a cat that thinks she's a dog."
"Cats are like music. It's foolish to try to explain their worth to those who don't appreciate them."
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"Dogs are like potato chips, you can't have just one."
"If you want a friend, buy a dog."
"My cat is actually the one who owns me."
"I’ve seen a look in dogs' eyes, a feeling in their movements, that’s helped me define my place in the world."
"Purring would seem to be, in her case, an automatic safety valve device for dealing with happiness overflow."
"There’s a fine line between a pet and a family member."
"My therapist has four legs and a tail."
"Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?"
"Every time I see an adult on a bicycle, I no longer despair for the future of the human race."
"In dog years, I'm dead."
"There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats."
"My dog is not a pet. My dog is a member of the family."
"If I could be half the person my dog is, I'd be twice the human I am."
"Dogs are the best listeners. They don’t judge you or interrupt you."
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"Cat rules: No eating before I do. No sleeping before I do, and no scratching before I do."
"I love my dog as most mothers love their children. I can’t help it."
"The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it."
"Anyone who doesn’t know what soap tastes like never washed a dog."
"Cats are like potato chips. You can’t have just one."
"No matter how much you pay a dog, he will never be as happy as when you come through the door."
"You can’t put a leash on a cat."
"I think my cat is trying to kill me. She takes the phrase 'food coma' very seriously."
"If only humans had brains as sophisticated as dogs'."
"A dog won't care if you’re rich or poor, smart or dumb. Give him your heart and he’ll give you his."
"The only thing better than a dog is two dogs."
"Kittens are angels with whiskers."
"I don’t care if my cat loves me. I love my cat."
"Dogs are like software. You can’t live with them but you can’t live without them."
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"My cat is not a replacement for a therapist. But it sure helps!"
"Pets are the only ones who will love you unconditionally, even when you sometimes leave them home alone."
"A house is not a home without a pet."
"To me, you are perfect. (Said by my cat, 24/7.)"
"You can’t buy love, but you can rescue it."
"If your dog is fat, you aren’t getting enough exercise."
"Money can buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail."
"The only thing smarter than a smart dog is a smart owner."
"Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function."
"Dogs are our link to paradise. They don't know evil or jealousy or discontent."
"If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went."
"My dog is half cat, half dog, and it’s probably 100% crazy!"
"Cats are like music: It's foolish to try to explain their worth to those who don't appreciate them."
"The biggest dog has been a pup; the fiercest tiger has been a cub."
"To err is human, to purr is feline."
"I’ve seen a look in dogs’ eyes, a look of utter, unreserved, unqualified love."
"If you want to know the character of a man, find out what animals he has."
"The cat does not offer services. The cat offers itself."
"I have a cat that thinks she's a dog. Best of both worlds!"
"The average dog is a nicer person than the average person."
"Never trust a cat that can't find the key to the cupboard."
"A dog can only have one master. A cat is happy with whoever pays attention to it."
"The cat is the only animal that has managed to domesticate man."
"A dog is like a marriage: You want loyalty, and sometimes you get a little barking."
"Cats are the ultimate narcissists. You can tell this by all the time they spend alone."
"The trouble with cats is that they get the same exact look on their face whether they see a moth or an ax-murderer."
"My favorite animal is steak."
"I’m not sure if I’m more of a cat person or a dog person, but I think I’ll just stay with both."
"When you adopt a dog, you have a lot of very good days, and some bad days, and even more great days."
"Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened."
"I used to love dogs until I discovered cats."
"The cat is nature’s masterpiece."
"I’m so glad I’m not a cat, because if I were, I would hate me."
"Cats choose us; we don’t deserve them."
"The best way to get a dog is to beg for a baby brother – and they’ll settle for a puppy every time."
"There's no need for a piece of sculpture in a home that has a cat."
"If I had a dollar for every time I said 'My cat is a genius,' I’d be a millionaire."
"You can't look at a sleeping cat and not dream."
"My cat's not fat, he's just big-boned."
"Cats are like potato chips: you can’t have just one."
"My dog’s not a dog, he’s my friend for life."
"You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog."
"In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this."
"The only thing a cat worries about is what you're going to do next. . . . Are you going to open that can?"
"I used to be a cat lady, but now I’m a cat grandma – pay me in treats, kitty!"
"A dog wags its tail with its heart."
"The more I know people, the more I like my dog."
"Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose."
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
"I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult."
"The more people I meet, the more I like my dog."
"If I could be half the person my dog is, I’d be twice the human I am."
"My dog is a part of my family, even if he drools on my couch."
"To err is human; to forgive, canine."
"A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself."
"I’m not sure what I like more, my dog or the fact that my dog likes me."
"I used to look after my neighbors’ dog, but he died. My neighbor is rude and keeps asking for him back."
"There’s something about the outside of a dog that’s good for the inside of a man."
"Cats are connoisseurs of comfort."
"If I could be any animal, I'd be a cat. It's like life on easy mode."
"I am not a cat person, but I respect their ability to look down on every other creature."
"A cat is a puzzle for which there is no solution."
"The only thing better than having a dog is having two dogs."
"A pit bull is like a potato: if raised right, it's a real gem."
"Kittens are cute, but a cat's true nature is to dominate the household."
"Dogs have owners, cats have staff."
"My cat is a thief. He steals my heart every day."
"Happiness is a warm puppy."
"The great thing about eagles is that they can fly high, but they still read the fine print."
"An animal's eyes have the power to speak a great language."
"Dogs teach us a very important lesson in life: The mailman is not to be trusted."
"A dog can express more with his tail in seconds than a human can express with his tongue in hours."
"Cats choose us; we don't own them."
"If I were a dog and you were my master, I would refuse to be trained by you."
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