126 result(s) for Funny 420 Quotes.
"Marijuana is not a drug — it's a plant. It's a herb, and it's a flower. It has healing properties and it’s great for relaxation."
"I think that marijuana should be legal. I don’t smoke it, but I think it’s absurd that it’s not."
"The only thing I know is that I know nothing. But I do know how to relax to some good music, every frequency sounds better when you’re high."
"I used to think pot was bad for you. Now I think it's kind of funny. I mean, it's just a plant."
"I have a freezer full of pot brownies. I’m going to eat them all and then perform at the Super Bowl!"
"I don't always smoke weed, but when I do, I prefer to smoke with my friends."
"I would not have my kids be secretly doing pot without me. If they're gonna do it, I want them to do it in front of me!"
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"I'm not a bad guy. I'm just way more fun when I'm a little stoned."
"There is a fine line between a drug and a medicine. I prefer to walk on the wild side of that line."
"I can't wait to smoke some more. This is the best I've felt in a long time!"
"When I first got high, I was like, 'This is just a drug'. But then I realized, it's just a really good time!"
"I used to be a drug dealer, now I'm a weed dealer. Who knew I was going to end up as the good guy!"
"I'm not going to lie – I love getting high and trying to solve the mysteries of the universe."
"I’ve been high for so long, I’m trying to get off this cloud. The weather up here isn’t what it used to be!"
"Cannabis is a flower. It’s important that we treat it with the respect and care of flower arrangements."
"Every day is 4/20 if you're doing it right!"
"I got 99 problems but a cannabis ain't one."
"Stay high and stay positive!"
"When life hands you lemons, smoke a lime."
"Why is my computer tired? Because it has a virus! Haha, just kidding – I only smoke viruses!"
"I'm on the patch! The marijuanapatch."
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"If everyone who smoked weed smoked a joint with a stranger, the world would be a better place."
"Keep calm and light up!"
"Good times + Crazy friends = Amazing memories: All thanks to some good herb!"
"Smoking makes my brain think faster and more creatively. Or is that just the blunt?"
"Stoned thoughts are the best thoughts. Just think how far stoned thoughts brought us!"
"I smoke pot because I want to enhance my life, not to escape it."
"If you don't inhale, it's not marijuana. It's a vegetable."
"The only thing better than singing is more singing."
"I think I can see my house from here."
"Marijuana is not habit forming; I should know — I’ve been smoking it for years."
"I used to do drugs. I still do drugs. But I used to, too."
"I don't need to be high to be funny. But it helps."
"You must be stoned to be this good."
"I thought I was a better person when I was high, turns out I was just high."
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"In high school, I had two friends, a boy and a girl. They both were ugly, so I dated them both at the same time. No one else would."
"You can't buy happiness, but you can buy weed, and that's kind of the same thing."
"I don’t get high, I just get really, really relaxed!"
"When I was a kid, I inhaled frequently. That was the point."
"I was on the patch for about a month. Then I lost it."
"I think I'm getting a cold; I'm going to need some weed to get through this."
"I'm just a simple man trying to make my way in the universe."
"Nothing is better than a friend unless it’s a friend with weed."
"I suffer from short-term memory loss. I also suffer from short-term memory loss."
"If we weren't meant to eat midnight snacks, why is there even a light in the fridge?"
"Sometimes, the best part of my day is just folding the laundry and knowing it’s a task I can actually complete."
"I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised."
"You know you're a stoner when your house plants are alive and you can't remember if you watered them."
"I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me ads for vacation packages."
"If you can’t laugh at yourself, you’re going to miss out on some great jokes."
"I don’t trust anyone who doesn’t smoke pot. Just kidding... sort of."
"I smoke pot because I want to forget about all the things I can’t remember."
"If we treated everyone we meet with the same affection we bestow upon our favorite cat, they, too, would purr."
"The best time to smoke is always five minutes ago."
"Marijuana is not a drug; it’s a plant. It’s a herb. It’s a flower."
"I would rather be a superb meteor, every atom of me in magnificent glow, than a sleepy and permanent planet."
"I'm on the patch that stops me from smoking weed. It's not working."
"The only thing stoned is the glass I'm holding."
"Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?"
"I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too."
"I'm not addicted to marijuana, I just have a very strong habit."
"I don't smoke weed. I take it by mouth instead."
"They say money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy a bong, and that’s pretty close."
"I like smoking weed and watching old documentaries."
"When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. When life gives you weed, smoke it."
"My favorite way to spend a day off is in bed with a bowl."
"Take a deep breath, and let it go up in smoke."
"Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else."
"Smoke 'em if you got 'em."
"I don’t always smoke weed, but when I do, I prefer to do it alone."
"I’m in a love affair with marijuana."
"I told my therapist about my weed problem. He said I should just quit lying to myself!"
"A day without laughter is a day wasted, especially when you're high."
"You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not a taco."
"The first time I got high, I was terrified I was destined for the poorhouse."
"Some people are like clouds. When they disappear, it’s a beautiful day."
"I think people need to get off their high horse and realize that we all smoke pot. Just some are more mellow about it than others."
"The only thing that can mess up a good time is the cops. And that's just a matter of time."
"I told my doctor I wanted to be in shape. He said I was and that was round."
"Marijuana is a herb, and it’s a gift from God. And God knows we need to lighten up in this crazy world!"
"You know you're a stoner when... you think the avocado is a vegetable."
"It's like 2:30 in the morning. I can't even pee right now. It takes 25 minutes to pee when you're stoned."
"Why are we letting the government dictate what they can or cannot put in their bodies? I think it’s a little hypocritical."
"I don't smoke weed. I don’t like the way it makes me feel. But I like to be around people that do."
"The only thing better than a night out is a night in with a good joint."
"Take a look at yourself. You’re not going to impress anyone when you’re complaining about your life. Go smoke a little weed and have a laugh."
"I used to be a people person. But then people ruined it for me. So I smoke pot now."
"Say what you will about the ten commandments, you shall not murder is pretty much the basis for any civilization."
"If weed was legal, we’d all be smarter, calmer, and funnier."
"A friend with weed is a friend indeed."
"I don't always smoke weed, but when I do, I prefer to do it with my friends."
"Marijuana: because bad decisions make good stories."
"I'm not addicted to marijuana. We're just in a committed relationship."
"To this day, I prefer the company of stoners to the company of serious people."
"Nothing is better than a road trip with some good friends and a bag of green!"
"Sometimes, you have to just roll one up and forget the world exists."
"When life hands you lemons, just roll yourself a joint and relax!"
"Cannabis is a big part of my life. It’s not just relaxing. It’s also an important part of my creativity."
"There’s always time for a little weed and a whole lot of laughter."
"Pot is not a drug, it’s a plant. God put it here for me and you."
"I went to a cannabis wedding and all I got was baked."
"When the world gets too heavy, just remember to take a puff and float for a while."
"I smoke pot because I want to, not because I have to."
"Marijuana is not a drug, it's a plant. It just happens to be a drug too."
"When you smoke the herb, it reveals you to yourself."
"I just want to be able to smoke pot on my own front porch, and not get arrested."
"I'm not addicted to marijuana, I just smoke it all the time."
"The only time I’m in favor of the war on drugs is when my dealer doesn’t have any."
"If weed was a person, I would marry it."
"I don't get high, I get ‘holistic’!"
"I used to be a drug addict. Now I only smoke marijuana."
"Marijuana, the only thing you can do in a smoke-filled room that isn’t illegal."
"I tried to smoke a joint twice, but I didn't want to get high, I wanted a snack!"
"I believe in the healing power of cannabis. I also believe in the unintentional power of comedy fueled by cannabis."
"Weed is just like a friend. You don’t know who is going to be there when you smoke."
"I invite you to a toast! Something we can light up and enjoy together. Me and my friends are happy to smoke with each and every one of you!"
"You can't take a class on 'how to be cool.' Just smoke a little weed and it'll come naturally."
"I like my coffee like I like my weed: strong and with a little bit of cream."
"Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you're probably drunk."
"Laughter is the best medicine, but if you're laughing for no reason, you might need medicine!"
"Why did the pothead cross the road? To get to the other side!"
"The one thing I really want to do is to scream, 'I have the munchies!' and no one will be able to judge me!"
"Cannabis is a great way to start a fight, especially with yourself!"
"What’s the difference between a pothead and a stoner? The pothead has the munchies, but the stoner has a plan!"
"If everyone smoked weed, the world would be a much better place. There would be no problems, only conversations."
"I don’t always smoke the herb, but when I do, I prefer to name it!"
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