129 result(s) for Funny Indian Quotes.
"I am on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it."
"If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in bed with a mosquito."
"We are all born with a stick on our butt; some of us just know how to take it out."
"Life is like a cup of tea; it’s all in how you make it."
"A bad haircut can change your life. Have you ever met an angry bald guy?"
"I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender."
"Behind every successful man is a surprised woman."
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"I don't need a hairdresser, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning."
"I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already."
"If you can’t convince them, confuse them."
"Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?"
"I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right."
"I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not too sure."
"The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets."
"To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target."
"I used to be a banker but I lost interest."
"I'm reading a book on anti-gravity. I can't put it down!"
"A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory."
"I would like to die on Mars. Just not on impact."
"I’m not lazy, I’m just on my energy-saving mode."
"If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments."
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"Sarcasm is the wit of the ignorant."
"A day without laughter is a day wasted."
"Why is that when we talk to God we’re said to be praying, but when God talks to us we’re said to be schizophrenic?"
"I have a new philosophy. I’m only going to dread one day at a time."
"The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."
"I can't believe I’m smiling. It’s quite an achievement given how much I have to complain about."
"I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants."
"The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about."
"Indian people are so simple – they only want one thing: to have their assumptions tested."
"I come from a country where we don't talk about our problems. We make jokes about them."
"There are two kinds of people in the world: people who love India and people who haven't been there yet."
"In India, we have a saying: 'Never trust a person who doesn't like ice cream.'"
"The biggest lie in the world is 'I am on my way' – especially if you are an Indian."
"When in doubt, take a selfie. That’s Indian philosophy for you."
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"I have a problem with the verb 'to be.' It is too definite for an Indian. We prefer to say, 'I am like this for a while.'"
"An Indian can do anything in this world, except be on time."
"Don't worry, if you forget to bring your luggage from India, you will still have plenty of relatives to borrow from."
"India, where you can meet a stranger, and one hour later, he is your best friend – a little scary, isn't it?"
"How do you stop an Indian from talking? You don’t! They come with their own batteries."
"If you can’t convince them, confuse them. That’s the Indian way!"
"In India, we have an expression: 'Jugaad' – it means finding a clever fix or simple work-around to any problem!"
"When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. When life gives Indians lemons, they make chutney."
"There is no problem so big that we can't ignore it."
"Never play peek-a-boo with a security guard in India. They take it way too seriously."
"The best part of being an Indian is that we celebrate everything: failures, successes, and especially food!"
"If you ask an Indian how their day was, don’t expect a short answer. Just sit back and enjoy the show."
"Being Indian is like driving a car: some are in the fast lane, some are in reverse, but they all believe they are the best."
"An Indian's idea of multitasking is to eat, talk, and watch TV all at the same time."
"In India, food is not just a meal; it’s a battle where everyone must claim their territory!"
"An Indian household is where the Wi-Fi password is more important than the house keys."
"To be Indian is to understand the fine art of 'adjusting' in every circumstance."
"If you want to lose weight, just visit an Indian family during a festival. The food will make you forget your diet!"
"I think Indian culture is all about people having great sense of humor, they make jokes even in serious situations."
"In India, we don't have a standard 'mood'. We just have an average 'Punjab mood'."
"Me and my friends are like a small army. We fight at every festival."
"Why do we say we're queuing in India? Because we don't actually have a line, we have a crowd."
"In India, we have two kinds of people: Those who are scared of spiders and those who have had a spider run across their foot at tea time."
"We don’t need a GPS to find a way out of traffic in India – we just need a good sense of humor and a little luck!"
"Indian weddings are not just events; they are like a circus that goes on for days!"
"The best team to play for in an Indian cricket match is the one that can handle the pressure while making jokes!"
"In India, the only time you are allowed to ignore someone is when you're in a lift with them."
"You can tell if a family is Indian or not just by how many families are in the same restaurant."
"Don't worry about being successful but work toward being significant and the success will naturally follow. Just like eating biryani!"
"Indian logic: If it's not 'free', then I don't want it!"
"In India, if two people want to meet, it's easier to strike up a conversation about cricket than it is to actually set a time to meet!"
"When we say we are on time in India, we mean we are ready with a snack for that time!"
"Behind every successful Indian, there are several unappreciated family members making sure they have 'something' to eat!"
"An Indian man's life is incomplete until he can tell a good joke about his mother-in-law!"
"Life in India is like a bike: sometimes you keep pedaling and sometimes you just pedal your way through traffic."
"Every Indian has a hidden talent of making a huge deal out of any occasion, even a visit to the local grocery store!"
"There's no traffic. just a lot of 'creative driving'"
"In India, Wi-Fi should come with a warning label: 'May lead to family disputes!'"
"Every Indian parent thinks they can fix everything – from your grades to your marriage!"
"If you ever feel lost in life, remember that in India, lost actually means finding your way back with a good chai break."
"We Indians just love our drama, whether it's in our films or our everyday lives!"
"The only thing more unpredictable than Indian politics is the timing of an Indian wedding!"
"Our motto is: 'Say no to queues. Let's just all swarm the buffet, shall we?'"
"I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everyone."
"The trouble with India is that there are so many people, and we don't have any problems to solve."
"A good joke can be funny in any language, but in India, it often comes with a long explanation."
"I am not lazy. I am just on energy-saving mode."
"You can’t make everyone happy. You are not a dosa."
"Life is like a game of cricket. You never know what the pitch will be like until you arrive!"
"In India, we have a saying – 'the sweeter the dish, the heavier the weight.'"
"Marriage is a three-ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering."
"I have a new theory in life. What other people think of me is truly none of my business."
"I told my mom I want to be a comedian. She said, 'Make sure you’re not just funny-looking!'"
"If you have to ask if I’m funny, then it’s likely that I am not."
"My phone is like my wife. I can’t do without it, but it can get on my nerves."
"Indian food is like a relationship: If it’s not spicy, it’s boring!"
"I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it."
"Why did the computer go to the doctor? Because it had a virus!"
"The best part about being Indian is the food. You can never have too much curry!"
"I took a bath and immediately fell asleep. Clearly, I was washing my troubles away."
"Saving money is just like saving food; the more you save, the more space you create for extra!"
"All my jokes are centered around warning people—never marry an Indian woman!"
"Your attitude is like the aroma of your pizza. It doesn’t matter if it’s traditional or not, it’s how you feel about it!"
"In life, you either have to be the key or the lock. I prefer to be the key, it’s less limiting!"
"Don't be like the coffee in my house; strong enough to wake me up, but not so bitter that I can't drink it."
"There's something funny about the way we hold a meeting in India. We all come, but nobody knows why!"
"If you can dodge a traffic jam in Mumbai, you can dodge anything."
"I’ve started calling my friends ‘WhatsApp’ instead of their names. It takes too long to type, ‘Let’s meet up’!"
"I tried to catch fog, but I mist!"
"Aankhein khuli rakhna... sab kuch dikhai dega, cell phone band kar do nahi toh sab kuch kuch dikhai nahi dega."
"Dil se jo baat kar raha ho, uska smartphone khud ba khud daar jata hai!"
"Khana khate waqt sirf khana khana chahiye, baatein nahi karni chahiye, warna bhugtan zyada ho jaata hai."
"Beta, phone nahi chhod paoge, lekin password bhool jaoge."
"Mujhe toh ye samajh nahi aata, log itna kyu dikhaate hain smartphone se, jab baatenh samajhta to sabse badi smartphone hai!"
"Tumhare ghar ki kahani, meri zindagi ki movie hai. Bahut funny, aur kabhi kabhi horror bhi!"
"Dost woh hota hai jo aapko akele mein 'Tera naam kya hai?' poochta hai jab sab wo chhod dete hain."
"Google pe sab kuch mil jaata hai, bas aapka dimaag nahi milta!"
"Shaadi ke baad sab kuch badal jaata hai. Sab kuch... khuda ki kasam, sirf ek khaas roz ki tarah!"
"Shayari ki tarah, zindagi bhi lipat jaati hai jab koi khud se shuru karta hai."
"Mujhe sirf ek zindagi chahiye. Ek beautiful laptop ke saath, taki mujhe na nind aaye na khana khane ka waqt mile!"
"Zindagi ki sabse badi funny kahani tab shuru hoti hai jab aap samajhte hain ki aapki kahani sabse boring hai!"
"Agar aapko paas aaya to waapas jaane ka inkhad kaam to chodo, maaro kya zaroorat!"
"Dosti mein ‘Sorry’ aur ‘Thank You’ nahi hai, sab kuch bland hai. Bas mazak karo aur joking raho!"
"Chudail kabhi khud ko nahi chhupaati, woh har baar zindagi pe chadh jati hai!"
"Sab ko ye pata hai, duvidha hai toh chutiya banao, sapne banao aur phir dosti karo!"
"Achi baatein karne se realize hota hai, par asli mazak toh aise hi badi khudgarzi ka hota hai!"
"Zindagi ke har pal se mazak mat karo, kyunki voh khud mazak hai!"
"Senti hone ka shauk rakhne waale zindagi ko akele hi samjhaate hain, yeh bekar hai!"
"Har problem ko hilarious banana, isse accha kaun escapism de sakta hai?"
"Aashiq na chakna chahiye, bas bhujan ki tarah talashna chahiye!"
"Kabhi kabhi mazak karna chahiye, kyunki zaroori nahi ki cheezon ko serious liya jaye."
"Dil khol ke haso, chalo kabutaron ki tarah udne inflight mein!"
"Aapke dost aapke career ka asli video game hai, boss!"
"Roothne ka koi matlab nahi, mazak toh har taraf hai!"
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