113 result(s) for Witty Quotes About Beer.
"I drink beer because I like it. I don’t drink beer to forget my problems."
"There's a fine line between a Federally-licensed brewer and a drunk with a brewing problem."
"Beer: because one doesn't solve the world's problems over white wine."
"I would embrace all of you, but I’m pretty sure you’d beer a lot better off without me hugging you."
"A beer a day keeps the doctor away. But if the doctor is cute, forget the beer."
"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel shame. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn’t drink this beer, they might be out of work and then I would feel sad. So I drink another beer to console myself."
"In the end, beer is a good thing, uniting people and creating conversations."
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"Beer is my favorite drink."
"I’ve finished my 14 beers and I’m ready to talk about my feelings."
"A man who lies about beer makes other lies look truthful."
"I fear for the future of humanity if we cannot find a common acceptance of beer."
"Beer is not the answer. Beer is the question. Yes is the answer."
"If you can’t drink it, you can’t kid it."
"Drinking beer doesn’t make you fat; it makes you lean... against bars, tables, chairs, and poles."
"There's nothing wrong with a little beer chugging now and then."
"Just because you're not a beer drinker doesn't mean you can't enjoy watching someone else enjoy one."
"Beer is like the universe: it’s best when it’s a little bubbly."
"When I pour a beer, I think of all the anticipation leading up to this drink."
"You can't be sad when you're holding a beer."
"A house without beer is like a tree without leaves."
"There are only two reasons to drink beer: you’re either thirsty or you’re bored."
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"A pint of beer is worth a thousand words, especially if you're the one talking."
"Beer is the secret of my happiness."
"I think a beer is all about the balance of body and bitterness. And if someone drinks too quickly, I'll shout at them, 'Hey! Treat it like a fine wine!'"
"Beer, if drunk in moderation, promotes health and longevity; if drunk to excess, it brings on many diseases."
"There’s a fine line between a grog and a grocery."
"I would quit drinking beer, but I'm no quitter."
"Regular beer is for regular people. I prefer my beer with a twist."
"A cup of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world."
"I drink beer to get the feeling of happiness without actually being happy."
"A man who lies about beer lies about other things."
"To beer, or not to beer, that is a stupid question."
"Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?"
"You know what I like about people? They surprise me. I like beer."
"Real ale is not for everyone, just as good beer is not for everyone. But if you don’t like it, you don’t know what you’re missing."
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"In a study of the great beer drinkers of history, we have found that all of them drank beer and nothing else."
"Draft beer. The best drink in the world."
"I always take life with a grain of salt, a slice of lime, and a shot of tequila… or a pint of beer!"
"Beer is like a woman; it should be treated with respect."
"Beer: because no great story started with someone eating a salad."
"I’m on the patch to sobriety. I just can’t find the exit."
"When life hands you lemons, grab the beer!"
"You can’t brew happiness, but you can brew beer and enjoy every sip of it!"
"Beer helps people put their best foot forward… even if it’s not their own foot."
"I can't listen to that much Wagner. I start to get the urge to conquer Poland."
"There is no bad beer. Some beers just happen to be better than others."
"My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me… and the best in me is a cold beer."
"I’d rather have a beer in my hand than a tweet on my phone."
"A fine beer may be judged with only one sip, but it's better to be thoroughly sure."
"A Government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul."
"I work until beer o’clock."
"Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer."
"I think I’ll just have another beer."
"Everything is better with beer."
"To beer, or not to beer? That is a silly question."
"You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy beer, and that’s pretty much the same thing."
"If I had a beer for every time I had a brilliant idea, I’d have one beer."
"I’d give up drinking, but I’m not a quitter."
"Beer: because you can’t drink bacon."
"If life gives you lemons, trade them for beer."
"Happiness is a cold beer and a warm fire."
"You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not a beer."
"There's nothing like a six-pack of beer to make a man feel whole again."
"Beer: the reason I get up every afternoon."
"When in doubt, drink a stout."
"Drinking beer doesn’t make you fat, it makes you lean... against bars."
"The best beers are the ones we drink with friends."
"I drink to make other people more interesting."
"I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer."
"There is no such thing as a bad beer. Some are just better than others."
"Beer, if drunk in moderation, promotes health and longevity."
"In beer, there is strength. In wine, there is wisdom. In water, there is bacteria."
"The best beer is the one you haven’t tried yet."
"There’s a fine line between a numerator and denominator. Only a fraction of people will get that."
"You can't buy happiness, but you can buy beer, and that's pretty close."
"Beer is my favorite fruit."
"I’ve only had a couple of beers, I swear! Two six packs!"
"A beer a day keeps the doctor away, or at least the doctor’s not available."
"Strangers are just friends you haven't had a beer with yet."
"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
"You know you're a beer geek when you start arguing about the merits of fermentation temperature with your beer."
"Life is too short to drink bad beer."
"Beer may not solve your problems, but neither will water."
"To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems."
"I like my beer like I like my mornings — dark and bitter."
"A man who lies about beer makes other lies seem truthful."
"If you think that you are too small to be effective, you have never been in bed with a mosquito."
"To beer, the cause of and solution to all my problems."
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
"I would rescue a beer with a cold. But first, I would drink it."
"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza."
"The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."
"Good people drink good beer."
"There’s no such thing as a bad beer. Some are better than others."
"A fine beer may be judged with only one sip, but it’s better to be thoroughly sure."
"I drink to make other people interesting."
"Beer may not solve all your problems, but it’s worth a shot."
"You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy beer, and that’s kind of the same thing."
"Ale, man, Ale's the stuff to drink for fellows whom it hurts to think."
"If you can’t drink it, it’s not beer."
"In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria."
"Beer is not just a drink; it’s a culture."
"I only drink on two occasions: when I'm thirsty and when I'm not."
"An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools."
"Beer: because one doesn’t solve the world’s problems over white wine."
"Bravery is being the only one who knows you’re afraid to be a coward."
"Happiness is the beer in my hand."
"A balanced diet is a beer in each hand."
"Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder."
"Life is too short to drink cheap beer."
"The best beers are the ones we drink with our friends."
"If I had to choose between a glass of beer and a glass of milk, I’d choose beer every time!"
"I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me."
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