97 result(s) for Nasty Christmas Quotes.
"The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear... or a good roast."
"One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day."
"I so much dislike Christmas that I almost bought a dozen rats instead of being forced to endure this cheer."
"The two most joyous times of the year are Christmas and the end of Christmas."
"Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year."
"At Christmas, tea is not a luxury; it is a necessity — for your sanity!"
"I Christmas-ed all over the house; I was ungodly merry and I just stripped down the tree."
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"If you can’t make it nice, make it funny."
"It’s the most wonderful time of the year... to remind people of their bad decisions."
"I’m dreaming of a white Christmas. But if the white runs out, I’ll drink the red!"
"It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas... and I’m not sure how I feel about that."
"A Christmas tree isn’t just a decoration, it’s a battleground of bad decisions."
"Christmas is a time when you get homesick even when you're home."
"Family is all about aggravation and chaos, especially around Christmas."
"Christmas is the season when you buy this year's gifts with next year's money."
"Somehow, not only for Christmas but all year long, the spirit of giving and peace is alive and well."
"The thing about Christmas is that it’s a little too joyful, if you ask me."
"My husband’s version of Christmas shopping is driving me to the nearest mall and unleashing me."
"Christmas: the only time of the year you can sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of socks."
"If I had my way, I’d keep Christmas in my own way."
"I told Santa I wanted a fat bank account and a skinny body. Santa laughed."
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"I’m not jolly. I’m just trying to make it through this holiday season."
"Nothing is as bad as the mistakes I made last Christmas — except for my family dinners."
"You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy Christmas cookies, and that’s kind of the same thing!"
"Holiday stress: when you realize your family is just like a Christmas fruitcake—full of nuts!"
"Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered."
"The one thing women don’t want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband."
"At Christmas, I no more desire a rose than wish a snow in May’s new fangled mirth."
"There are too many Christmases for those who love holiday cheer, and not enough for those who truly don't."
"I’ve seen your house and it’s even uglier than your Christmas sweater."
"This holiday season, I’ll be keeping it real. Just like my Christmas budget."
"Nothing ruins Christmas like the arrival of the relatives."
"Dear Santa, I can explain…"
"Holiday shopping: the one time of year you can buy a box of chocolates and it’s not for you."
"Christmas is a time for eating and drinking too much. Besides that, it’s just like any other holiday."
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"Merry Christmas! May your stress be less and your income be more."
"I love Christmas. I receive a lot of wonderful presents I can’t wait to return."
"What do you mean, you’re out of eggnog? This isn’t a holiday, it’s an emergency!"
"You know you’re getting old when Santa starts looking younger."
"Christmas is a time to be with family. If you can’t be with your family, the next best thing is to be alone."
"You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy Christmas cookies, and that’s kind of the same thing."
"May your days be merry and bright… and full of eye-rolls."
"Christmas carols are like bad karaoke. You’ve got to wait for it to be over."
"The first day of Christmas my true love gave to me... a headache."
"This year I’m just going to put ‘wishes for my Christmas list’ on my Amazon wish list."
"May your holiday season be full of family drama and awkward encounters."
"You know it’s Christmas when you can’t fit into your pants anymore."
"I can’t wait to unplug from my family and binge-watch holiday movies instead!"
"Bah! Humbug! And a happy new year to you!"
"If you can’t be with the one you love, love the one you’re with at Christmas."
"It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas, but I’m still not buying gifts for anyone."
"The gift of giving is one of the greatest things we can do, unless it’s to a family member."
"Tis the season of giving, and I’m giving you my eye roll."
"Christmas is a time for family, but sometimes you just need to cuss them out."
"I just want to be able to enjoy the holiday without having to listen to Christmas music every five seconds."
"Merry Christmas, I hope your family is functional and all your batteries are included."
"At Christmas, remember that gifts don’t always come wrapped in ribbons; sometimes they come wrapped in sarcasm."
"I’ll take my holiday with a side of wine and sarcasm."
"Sorry, I can’t hear you over the sound of how awesome I am still being single at Christmas."
"May your Christmas be merry and bright, and filled with enough drinks to tolerate your relatives."
"I’m ready to deck the halls and then take a long nap."
"Christmas is a time when you want everything to be perfect, but let’s be real – it rarely is."
"The one gift that’s really hard to wrap? The relationship with my in-laws."
"Is it too late to be good? If not, let’s put on the holiday cheer anyway!"
"Christmas: A great excuse to accept defeat in your diet."
"Let’s not forget that Christmas is the season of extremely high expectations and low patience."
"You know it’s Christmas when your bank account is just as empty as your stomach after a holiday feast."
"I’m on the naughty list and I’m okay with it!"
"Nothing says Christmas spirit like a little family dysfunction."
"It’s not what’s under the Christmas tree that matters, it’s who you have around you and how little you can spend on presents."
"Christmas is a time for kindness and giving, but can we all agree to take a chill pill on the holiday cheer?"
"The best part of Christmas? The leftover wine the next day."
"It's the most wonderful time of the year... to be a total jerk."
"The only thing worse than a Christmas sweater is a Christmas sweater you can't return."
"I’m dreaming of a white Christmas. But if the white runs out, I’ll drink the red."
"Christmas is a time when you get homesick, even when you’re home."
"Christmas calories don't count, so go ahead and be naughty!"
"I thought I was going to break up with my girlfriend on Christmas, but then I remembered: she’s family now."
"At Christmas, all roads lead home. And that’s the problem."
"I don’t care what anyone says; I hate Christmas. It’s a big scam."
"Christmas: the only time of year you can sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of socks."
"Christmas is the time to be with family… you know, the people you avoid the rest of the year."
"Dear Santa, I can explain..."
"I haven’t been this excited about Christmas since last Christmas."
"There are two kinds of people at Christmas: those who celebrate it and those who are counting the days until January."
"Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way... oh what fun it is to be mildly annoyed."
"Christmas lights shine the brightest on a chaotic family holiday."
"I did all my Christmas shopping last minute, just like every other year."
"It’s all fun and games until Santa checks the naughty list."
"The trouble with Christmas is that it’s too festive."
"I love the smell of Christmas in the morning... oh wait, that’s holiday stress stench."
"Nothing like Christmas to remind you how messed up your family is."
"Merry Christmas! May your family be functional and all your batteries be included."
"The Grinch wasn't wrong; Christmas is overhyped."
"I hope your Christmas is as wonderful as you are... which isn't saying much."
"Christmas: a time for giving... your family a break from reality!"
"Do you hear what I hear? It’s the sound of my sanity leaving during the holidays."
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