117 result(s) for Sarcastic Motivational Quotes.
"I think failure is a great opportunity to begin again. But keep in mind, you might just want to give up instead."
"Don't worry if plan A doesn't work. There are 25 more letters in the alphabet."
"You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. But if you take too many, you might just get a concussion."
"Don't worry about failures, worry about the chances you miss when you don’t even try. Unless it's a really bad idea."
"If at first you don't succeed, redefine success."
"Success is just failure that hasn't been fired yet."
"Dream big. If you don't achieve your dreams, at least you can blame them for your mediocrity."
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"I can’t fix stupid, but I can always motivate you to try harder to be it."
"Keep going! It's only natural to want to quit when it gets hard. Maybe this time you’ll actually succeed!"
"Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it. Or really good at pretending to be busy."
"The only place where success comes before work is in the dictionary. And sometimes in fairy tales."
"Your limitation—it’s only your imagination. Well, mostly. Some limitations are very real."
"Don’t stop when you’re tired. Stop when you’re done working on that thing you probably should have started doing months ago."
"Success isn’t just about what you accomplish in your life. It’s about what you inspire others to not do."
"What if I told you, you could accomplish anything. Unless it’s playing the piano, then I’d advise you to stick to air guitar."
"If you think you’re too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito. Just don’t blame me when you don’t sleep well."
"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken. And to be honest, they probably don’t want to be you anyway."
"Believe in yourself, even if it’s just for the sake of appearing confident. It seems to work for everyone else."
"Hard work often pays off after time, but laziness always pays off now. Choose wisely."
"Don't be pushed around by the fears in your mind. Be led by the dreams in your wallet."
"You can't have everything... where would you put it? So choose wisely what you neglect."
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"The man who moves a mountain begins by carrying away small stones. Unless he calls a bulldozer, then it's much faster."
"If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you."
"I’m on the patch to getting organized. I’ve just misplaced it."
"Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else."
"You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. But then again, you miss 100% of the naps you don’t take too."
"You can't have everything. Where would you put it?"
"Just because you’re unique doesn’t mean you’re useful."
"Don't worry if plan A doesn't work out, there are 25 more letters in the alphabet."
"If you want to make everyone happy, don’t be a leader. Sell ice cream."
"There is no 'I' in team, but there is in 'win'."
"Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful. But if you make a mistake, just blame it on the universe."
"Behind every successful man, there is a woman rolling her eyes."
"You can’t be late until you show up."
"Life is a journey, and if you fall in love with the journey, you will be in love forever. And if you don't, well, it's just a journey."
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"I can’t wait to retire and live off my savings. What I can’t wait to do is spend time with my bills and my taxes."
"It could be that your sole purpose in life is simply to be a warning to others."
"You know you’re lazy when you get excited about canceling plans."
"I don’t need a therapist. I have a sarcastic friend."
"Today is the first day of the rest of your life, and so is tomorrow, and the day after tomorrow – you really could just quit any time."
"Keep your face always toward the sunshine—and shadows will fall behind you, but probably only because you’re taking a weird angle."
"The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary and probably in someone’s motivational poster that you’ve ignored."
"You can't climb the ladder of success with your hands in your pockets, unless you have an exceptional coat."
"I am an early bird and a night owl... so I’m wise and I have worms."
"If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you."
"You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. But you also miss 100% of the naps you don’t take."
"The only thing standing between you and your goal is the story you keep telling yourself as to why you can’t achieve it."
"Most people never run far enough on their first wind to find out if they've got a second."
"I’m on the patch to recovery. It’s a rough road, but at least I know the potholes are my own."
"The future is bright, but it’s blinding me."
"You know you're right. But I also know I'm right all the time, and this isn't one of those times."
"Sure, motivation is great but it’s not a substitute for actual work."
"What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail? Probably nothing, because that sounds exhausting."
"Dream big. It's the only thing that will get you out of bed after hitting snooze for the 15th time."
"If you think you're too small to be effective, you've never been in bed with a mosquito."
"Success is walking from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm. Mostly because failure has a very low bar."
"You can fool some of the people all the time and all of the people some of the time, but you can’t fool mom."
"Today is the first day of the rest of your life... and also a day you will probably waste binge-watching TV."
"If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging. Unless you’re really into that sort of thing."
"Hard work pays off in the future, but laziness pays off now."
"What doesn’t kill you gives you a pretty good check for life insurance."
"Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re probably drunk."
"You can't climb the ladder of success with your hands in your pockets."
"Never put off until tomorrow what you can put off until next week."
"The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."
"Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away."
"Success is a series of failures disguised as a path to glory. Or at least a good excuse for trying."
"If you think you can't, you're right. And if you think you can, you're probably wrong too."
"I can't give you the formula for success, but I can give you the formula for failure: try to please everyone."
"Don't worry if plan A doesn’t work out, there are 25 more letters in the alphabet."
"Success is just failure that hasn’t happened yet."
"You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream. Just make sure it's achievable this time."
"The only thing standing between you and your goal is the story you keep telling yourself as to why you can't achieve it."
"The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."
"Motivation is like a bath; you have to keep doing it every day."
"It’s not whether you get knocked down, it’s whether you get up – but if you keep getting knocked down, maybe you should consider another sport."
"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take, and 99% of the shots you do."
"Dream big—it's what got you into this mess in the first place."
"You can do anything, but not everything. So just pick one and probably mess it up."
"Believe in yourself, unless you can find someone better."
"If at first, you don’t succeed, then perhaps failure is your style."
"Don't count the days; make the days count, or just stay in bed."
"It's a good day to have a good day—unless you have to work."
"Success is going from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm, just increased confusion."
"Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth."
"Opportunities are usually disguised as hard work, which is why most people don’t recognize them."
"Follow your dreams! Except for that one where you’re naked in public."
"Sometimes the road less traveled is a terrible mess—take a map."
"If you don't like how things are, change it! You're not a tree."
"You are unique—just like everyone else."
"Success is a lousy teacher. It seduces smart people into thinking they can't lose. Unless you actually can."
"If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you."
"The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces."
"I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book."
"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits."
"I didn’t fail the test. I just found 100 ways to do it wrong."
"I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off."
"Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful. Unless it’s illegal, then you’ll probably be in jail."
"You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. But you also miss 100% of the shots you do take if you’re having a really bad day."
"You know you're on the road to success if you would do your job and not be paid for it. But that would also make you a fool."
"I'm not arguing. I'm just explaining why I'm right."
"I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work. But hey, at least I'm persistent!"
"Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Unless you keep hitting the snooze button; then it's just another Monday."
"Believe you can and you’re halfway there. But the other half requires a bit more effort and less Netflix."
"If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in bed with a mosquito."
"It’s not whether you get knocked down, it’s whether you get back up. Or if you’d prefer to stay down for a while, that’s totally fine too."
"Mistakes are proof that you are trying. But don’t worry, you can still be wrong and confident!"
"You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?"
"If you think education is expensive, try ignorance. Or, just don't think at all."
"I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode."
"The best way to predict the future is to create it. Or, you know, just wait and see what happens."
"Life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced. Mostly, it’s a headache."
"Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday."
"Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it. So stop searching and start pretending!"
"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken. And they’re probably more successful at it too."
"Dream big and dare to fail. Or just take a nap, it’s safer."
"Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans. Mostly, it’s just a mess."
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