124 result(s) for Jeff Foxworthy Quotes.
"You might be a redneck if your dad walks you to school because you’re both in the same grade."
"You might be a redneck if you have a job that you can’t explain to your mom."
"You might be a redneck if you think the last words of the national anthem are 'Gentlemen, start your engines.'"
"You might be a redneck if you own a home that’s mobile and 15 cars that aren’t."
"You might be a redneck if the most common last words in your family are 'Watch this!'"
"You might be a redneck if you refer to the two or three blocks down the road as 'out of town.'"
"You might be a redneck if you think a turtleneck is a type of vegetable."
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"You might be a redneck if you’ve ever made a home video of yourselves after your first date."
"You might be a redneck if you think the word 'politics' is made up of two words: poly, meaning many, and ticks, meaning blood-sucking parasites."
"You might be a redneck if you have a 'help wanted' sign in your front yard, and your name is on it."
"You might be a redneck if your favorite Christmas decoration is a giant inflatable deer in your front yard."
"You might be a redneck if you believe that the country belongs to the people, and the people are always right, unless they’re wrong."
"You might be a redneck if your family tree has only one branch."
"You might be a redneck if you have successful deer and turkey hunting seasons without leaving your yard."
"You might be a redneck if your kid can pronounce 'Oklahoma' but thinks 'Nashville' is just a place where you go for a haircut."
"You might be a redneck if your drunk uncle is the family historian."
"You might be a redneck if your truck has a larger radio than your house."
"You might be a redneck if you've ever been caught floating in a pool of adult beverages."
"You might be a redneck if your primary form of transportation is a pair of rollerblades in the living room."
"You might be a redneck if every time you get a raise, your car gets a new sticker on the back."
"You might be a redneck if your only experience with hand sanitizer was during a pandemic."
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"You might be a redneck if the only thing that really matters to you on your anniversary is the annual catch-and-release policy."
"You might be a redneck if you think 'sitting in the driveway' is an actual sport."
"I think the reason I connect with my audience is that I grew up in a dysfunctional family."
"You might be a redneck if you've ever used your unwanted hair for insulation."
"If you can’t remember whether you locked the doors or not, you might be a redneck."
"You might be a redneck if you've ever had to take a beer to the bathroom with you."
"You might be a redneck if you’ve ever been stopped by the police and said, 'I wasn’t doing anything! I was just pulling my tractor off the road.'"
"You might be a redneck if your idea of a romantic evening is a six-pack and a low-rise barbecue grill."
"If you’re married to your cousin, you might be a redneck."
"You might be a redneck if you think a quarterback is a refund."
"You might be a redneck if you think a 'casual Friday' means you wear your best pair of overalls."
"If your dog's name is 'Porkchop,' you might be a redneck."
"You might be a redneck if you use a food stamp to buy a lottery ticket."
"You might be a redneck if you have a fridge in the garage and you don’t have a garage door."
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"You might be a redneck if you’ve ever caught yourself singing the lyrics to 'Deliverance.'"
"You might be a redneck if a divorce attorney is your family doctor."
"If you can’t find your car keys because they’re in the beer cooler, you might be a redneck."
"You might be a redneck if you have a hunting dog with a better pedigree than you."
"You might be a redneck if your favorite Christmas gift is a new shotgun."
"If you find yourself playing checkers on a flattened beer box, you might be a redneck."
"You might be a redneck if the closest thing to a spaceship you've ever seen is your cousin's pickup truck."
"You might be a redneck if your wife has ever said, 'You’re the smartest redneck I know.'"
"If you have more guns than books in your house, you might be a redneck."
"You might be a redneck if your favorite ringtone is a rebel yell."
"If your 'family reunion' involves more than one pickup bed and a load of barbecue, you might be a redneck."
"You might be a redneck if your backyard pool is a stock tank."
"You might be a redneck if your wife has ever said, 'Come move this transmission so I can take a bath.'"
"If you can’t afford the car but you gotta have the car, you might be a redneck."
"You might be a redneck if you’ve ever had to wash your hands with a garden hose."
"If you think ‘The Godfather’ is a classic rock song, you might be a redneck."
"You might be a redneck if your school fight song is 'Dueling Banjos.'"
"If your dog can’t watch you eat without gagging, you might be a redneck."
"You might be a redneck if the most expensive thing you own is a transmission from a ’95 pickup."
"If you’ve ever been kicked out of a bingo game for yelling 'bingo' too soon, you might be a redneck."
"You might be a redneck if you've ever had to stop and rescue a baby goat on the interstate."
"If your family tree looks more like a cactus, you might be a redneck."
"You might be a redneck if you think that a stock tip is advice on how to buy a cow."
"If your best friend is named 'Cletus,' you might be a redneck."
"You might be a redneck if you’ve ever used a towel as a napkin."
"If you think 'The South' is a part of your town where the sun shines more, you might be a redneck."
"You might be a redneck if you prefer your guns to your mortgage payments."
"If you've ever made a bike out of scrap metal, you might be a redneck."
"You might be a redneck if your favorite Christmas decoration is a half-eaten deer."
"If you can’t walk past a pizza place without drooling, you might be a redneck."
"You might be a redneck if your house has wheels and your car doesn’t."
"If your job requires you to wear a gator head, you might be a redneck."
"You might be a redneck if you think that a quarter horse is a ride at Disneyland."
"If you've ever accidentally set fire to your house while trying to grill hamburgers, you might be a redneck."
"You might be a redneck if you've mistaken a stray dog for your guard dog."
"If you think a 'DUI' is a punctuation mark, you might be a redneck."
"You might be a redneck if you’ve ever made a snowman out of laundry detergent."
"You might be a redneck if you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say 'Cool Whip' on the side."
"You might be a redneck if your family tree doesn't fork."
"You might be a redneck if you've ever mowed your lawn and found a car."
"You might be a redneck if you think the last words of the Star Spangled Banner are 'Gentlemen, start your engines.'"
"You might be a redneck if taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen."
"You might be a redneck if your best friend is named 'Bubba'."
"You might be a redneck if your house doesn't have shutters, it has 55-gallon drums."
"You might be a redneck if your idea of a good time is a late-night drive on your tractor."
"You might be a redneck if the most money you’ve ever seen in one place was when you took your winnings out of the slot machines."
"You might be a redneck if you've ever used a fishing pole as a crutch."
"You might be a redneck if you think a chiropractor is something you stay in all summer."
"You might be a redneck if your dog and your wallet are both on a chain."
"You might be a redneck if your other car is a wheelbarrow."
"You might be a redneck if your home has more than one fridge but only one of them works."
"You might be a redneck if your wedding ceremony was in the local Waffle House."
"You might be a redneck if you’ve ever had to change a tire on your house."
"You might be a redneck if your picnic table used to be a cable spool."
"You might be a redneck if you have to take a bath before you go to the bathroom."
"You might be a redneck if you can't remember when you got your ears pierced, but you remember the first time you dipped snuff."
"You might be a redneck if the most impressive thing on your property is your collection of lawn ornaments."
"You might be a redneck if your truck has a gun rack and your dog carries a badge."
"You might be a redneck if your favorite part of the yard sale is the hot dogs."
"You might be a redneck if you can mow your lawn with a weedwhacker and find a garage sale next door."
"You might be a redneck if your cellular phone is a flip phone, and the biggest stain on your conscience is not identifying the leave-in conditioner."
"You might be a redneck if your online dating profile says 'Must love dogs, tractors, and moonshine!'"
"If you ever get a job as a TV weatherman, don't complain about the hours. You only have to work half the time, and you get to lie the rest of it."
"You might be a redneck if you take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree."
"I grew up in Georgia, and I consider myself a pretty straightforward guy. But I like to think I'm smart enough to know when to hit the brakes."
"You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog is also your alarm clock."
"You might be a redneck if you think the stock market has to do with cattle."
"I know that I am not someone who has ever been very sophisticated, but I also believe that I'm not stupid."
"You might be a redneck if you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say 'casserole' on the side."
"I love to laugh, and I love being part of a room full of people who are laughing."
"You might be a redneck if you think a subdivision is part of a math problem."
"I think people are getting tired of arrogance and loudness. There’s something refreshing about being down-home."
"You might be a redneck if your primary residence is a mobile home, and your second home is your car."
"It's important to me that people know I don't take myself too seriously."
"You might be a redneck if you’ve ever used a lawnmower as a vehicle."
"Rednecks have a tendency to be good people, very loyal, and they don’t have a whole lot of fuss about them."
"You might be a redneck if your idea of high-speed internet involves a 12-pack and a fishing pole."
"I think humor needs to be honest. I think it needs to speak to the truth of the human experience."
"You might be a redneck if your mother has ever said, 'You’re only going to be disappointed if you expect too much.'"
"I try to let people see the humor in their lives. If you can't laugh at yourself, what can you laugh at?"
"You might be a redneck if you have to take off your shoes to count to 21."
"The redneck persona has been very good to me, but I try to make sure it's not just a caricature."
"You might be a redneck if your dog is your best man at your wedding."
"The truth is, humor is universal. Everybody can relate to it."
"You might be a redneck if you've ever made a kid cry just by walking into the room."
"I try to look at it like this: If you don’t make fun of yourself, you probably don’t take yourself seriously enough."
"You might be a redneck if your wife’s favorite car is a pickup truck."
"My comedy is based on the observation of life. It’s about me and the people around me."
"You might be a redneck if you've ever worn a set of car keys as a necklace."
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