111 result(s) for Funny Quotes For Tumblers.
"I can’t adult today. Please don’t make me adult."
"If you can’t remember my name, just say ‘coffee’ and I’ll turn around."
"My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch. I call it lunch."
"The only time I set the bar low is for limbo."
"If drinking coffee is wrong, I don’t want to be right."
"I like hashtags because they look like tacos."
"I’ve got a feeling that this coffee is going to be a long-term relationship."
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"A day without laughter is a day wasted."
"I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure."
"I’m in shape. Round is a shape."
"You can’t make everybody happy. You’re not a taco."
"I’m on a cookie diet—if I can eat cookies, I can stick to anything!"
"Sometimes I pretend to be normal. But it gets boring, so I go back to being me."
"I don’t need a therapist. I just need coffee and a good friend."
"Procrastinate now, don’t put it off."
"I follow the rules of life: If it jiggles, it’s fat; if it’s wet, it’s soup."
"I like my coffee like I like my mornings: dark and bitter."
"I’m on a coffee diet. I have to go to coffee shops to avoid eating snacks."
"I’m not a morning person, or a night owl. I’m some form of permanently exhausted pigeon."
"Decaf? No thanks. I prefer my caffeine in espresso form... purely for medicinal purposes."
"I meant to be productive today, but I got distracted by my tumblers."
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"Sipping from my tumbler, pretending I’m on a fabulous road trip."
"I can’t espresso how much you bean to me!"
"In my defense, I was left unsupervised with a tumbler full of coffee."
"If you think I’m easy to deal with now, just wait until I’ve had my coffee!"
"I like my tumbler how I like my humor—full of hot liquids."
"Coffee is a hug in a mug."
"I’m not addicted to coffee, we’re just in a committed relationship."
"Pour yourself a cup of ambition!"
"I have measured out my life with coffee spoons."
"But first, coffee."
"Too much Monday, not enough coffee."
"Great ideas need landing gear as well as wings."
"Sometimes I wake up and think, ‘I really don’t want to wear pants today.’"
"I never drink coffee at lunch. I find it keeps me awake for the afternoon."
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"I’m sorry for what I said before coffee."
"Coffee first, adulting second."
"A tumbler in one hand, a sense of adventure in the other."
"If you can’t be kind, at least be funny."
"Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth."
"I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy-saving mode."
"I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it."
"I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me to the beach."
"Today’s forecast: 100% chance of winning at life."
"Sipping coffee while pretending to not be a mess."
"Be the reason someone smiles today. Or, the reason they drink wine."
"If you think I’m crazy, you should meet my coffee."
"The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."
"I never make mistakes—I only have happy accidents."
"I am on a journey to find myself, and it’s taking way too long."
"I’m not weird, I’m limited edition."
"Follow your dreams. Except for that one where you’re naked in public."
"I can’t adult today. Please don’t make me."
"I'm just a girl, standing in front of her coffee, asking it to love her."
"When nothing goes right, go left."
"I'm on my way to steal your coffee!"
"Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!"
"When the going gets tough, the tough go drinking!"
"I drink because I can't nap! "
"Coffee: because adulting is hard."
"If you're not shaking, you need another cup."
"I like my tumblers like my humor: full and unfiltered."
"My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch... I call it lunch."
"Just because you're awake doesn't mean you should stop dreaming."
"I need six months of vacation, twice a year."
"Decaf? No thanks, I'm not into horror stories."
"Behind every successful person is a substantial amount of coffee."
"I’m on a coffee diet. I drink coffee and eat donuts."
"Cheers to my favorite beverage: whatever the hell I'm drinking!"
"I told my coffee about my problems, but it just sat there and mugged me."
"I can’t espresso how much you bean to me."
"My blood type is coffee."
"I'm not a regular mom, I'm a cool mom!"
"If we are what we eat, then I’m cheap, fast, and easy!"
"Life happens, coffee helps."
"To the coffee in my tumbler this morning... You complete me!"
"I don't need a therapist. I just need coffee."
"Sometimes you just need a break from being a human."
"Good friends and coffee are all you need."
"There’s no ‘we’ in coffee."
"On Saturday, we wear pajamas and drink coffee."
"Sippin' coffee and spillin' the tea."
"Coffee: A hug in a mug."
"I like my coffee like I like my mornings: dark and strong!"
"I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already."
"I mixed up a chemistry set with a blender, and now I have a smoothie that glows in the dark."
"My therapist said a funny quote every day will keep the bad vibes away. So here I am!"
"I finally found my spirit animal. It’s a sloth."
"I don’t need an inspirational quote. I need coffee."
"Life is too important to be taken seriously."
"The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."
"I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me beach wallpapers."
"Behind every great man, there is a woman rolling her eyes."
"I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not too sure."
"I drink coffee for your protection."
"If you think I’m crazy, you should see my friends."
"I’m multitasking: I can listen, ignore, and forget at the same time."
"Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?"
"I walked into a bar and the bartender said, 'What will it be?' I said, 'Something strong enough to make me forget I walked in here.'"
"I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right."
"I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised."
"I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted a paycheck."
"An apple a day keeps anyone away if you throw it hard enough."
"You can't make everyone happy. You’re not pizza."
"I'd agree with you but then we’d both be wrong."
"I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done."
"Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged!"
"A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory."
"Some people are like clouds. When they disappear, it's a beautiful day."
"If at first, you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you."
"I'm on two diets. I quit drinking and smoking. I didn’t know which one was helping me more, so I decided to keep both."
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