130 result(s) for Funny Jiu Jitsu Quotes.
"The best way to choke your enemy is to make him laugh."
"You know jiu-jitsu is the answer when life gets tough. Well, okay, it's one of the answers... and a really fun one."
"I'd rather be in a triangle than in a meeting."
"Jiu-jitsu is like a science. The only thing missing is the lab coats."
"I can’t adult today; I’m too busy rolling on the mats."
"BJJ: Because punching people is frowned upon."
"My favorite position is ‘on the mat’—and no, it’s not what you think."
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"If at first, you don’t succeed, try doing it the way your instructor told you to."
"Resting my case with a shoulder lock."
"I roll because punching is frowned upon, and hugging is awkward."
"Jiu-jitsu: the art of folding clothes while people are still in them."
"The only person I want to throw over my shoulder is my gi bag."
"Everything is easy until you’re on the mat with someone who knows what they’re doing."
"I’m just here for the donuts—oh wait, is this a BJJ class?"
"The hardest part about jiu-jitsu? Dressing up every morning for the fight with my gi."
"I train jiu-jitsu to be happy. And also because it gives me a reason to eat tacos."
"If jiu-jitsu was easy, they’d call it football."
"I roll with stubbornness; I roll with skill; I roll to improve my meal prep skills."
"Why did the jiu-jitsu practitioner cross the road? To get to the other side... of the mat!"
"In jiu-jitsu, the past doesn’t matter; it’s just you and your opponent’s current chance of being submitted."
"I thought I was good at jiu-jitsu until I met my cat."
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"I don’t need therapy; I just need to roll."
"You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy a gi, and that’s pretty close."
"Jiu-jitsu: the only place where making someone tap is considered a compliment."
"My jiu-jitsu knowledge is like my gi; it could always use some washing."
"In jiu-jitsu, we trust the process—except when I forget my gi."
"I came to roll, but I stayed for the snacks afterward."
"I don’t always do Jiu Jitsu, but when I do, I prefer not to get strangled."
"Jiu Jitsu is like a game of chess, but with one crucial difference: the pieces can kick your ass."
"I thought I was good at Jiu Jitsu until I rolled with a cat."
"In Jiu Jitsu, there are only two types of people: those who tap and those who lie."
"Pain is weakness leaving the body... or just a really bad day on the mat."
"I don’t sweat; I leak awesome."
"The only thing better than a good day of Jiu Jitsu is a bad day that ended with pizza."
"If at first, you don’t succeed, grab their leg and try a takedown."
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"Rolling with my friends is what I do best... rolling with my enemies? That’s a challenge!"
"Breathe in, tap out, repeat."
"I don’t always submit my opponents, but when I do, I ensure it’s on Instagram."
"Why strain your back lifting weights when you can just choke out your problems?"
"Jiu Jitsu is like life, it’s all about the transitions and avoiding neck cranks."
"Let’s roll! Just remember, no tapping on the first date."
"My favorite position is: not getting strangled."
"Jiu Jitsu: the only place where being on top is not always better."
"I do Jiu Jitsu for the pizza party at the end."
"We’re all friends until someone brings out the triangle choke."
"Jiu Jitsu: turning 'please stop' into 'just tap' since forever."
"Keep calm and hip escape."
"How many Jiu Jitsu practitioners does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, but they’ll try every position first."
"Instead of 'Let’s roll,' I prefer 'Let’s grapple like nobody’s watching!'"
"I roll because punching people is frowned upon."
"Life is short; learn to choke."
"The tap is not the end; it’s just a really awkward moment."
"Jiu Jitsu is like a game of chess, except the board is on the floor, and you can kick your opponent in the face."
"I don’t always roll, but when I do, I prefer to get my ass kicked."
"Jiu Jitsu: the art of folding clothes with people still in them."
"The only time I get tired in Jiu Jitsu is when I'm rolling with a black belt and they’re actually trying."
"I’d like to thank my training partners for teaching me that there are many ways to lose."
"Jiu Jitsu is the only sport where you can accidentally make your friend cry, and then have a beer with them afterward."
"If at first you don't succeed, try doing it the way your coach told you to the first time."
"I train Jiu Jitsu because punching people is frowned upon."
"Jiu Jitsu is like a relationship: If you don’t commit, you’ll be in trouble."
"Every time I go to roll, I’m reminded of the slogan: ‘Friendship is a two-way street, but on the mat, it's a choke.'"
"Jiu Jitsu: the art of making your whole life revolve around avoiding that one guy with the 10th Planet tattoo."
"In Jiu Jitsu, we don’t just roll; we tumble into awkward moments and up the stakes with sweat."
"My favorite yoga pose is 'I just got armbarred.'"
"I came for the medals but stayed for the weird bruises and odd stories."
"Jiu Jitsu is just like life: you can’t control what happens, but you can definitely work on your reaction."
"I don’t sweat, I sparkle—and then someone promptly chokes me."
"Jiu Jitsu: the only place where your best friend can ruin your day while also giving you a hug afterward."
"They say laughter is the best medicine, but have you tried a submission?"
"Through grappling, I found my lifelong sport and my lifelong struggle."
"You know you’re a Brazilian Jiu Jitsu practitioner when your gi is more comfortable than your pajamas."
"Roll with it—and then tap out when it gets serious!"
"Sometimes I wonder if my therapist charges less if I bring my gi."
"I tried to explain Jiu Jitsu to my dog, but he just rolled over…"
"In Jiu Jitsu, there’s no ‘I’ in team, but there’s definitely an ‘I’ in tapping out."
"You know you love Jiu Jitsu when you find yourself contemplating life during a choke."
"If Jiu Jitsu has taught me anything, it’s how to let go… just not mid-roll!"
"You know you're a Brazilian Jiu Jitsu practitioner when you see a person on the ground and wonder what their guard game is like."
"I don’t have a black belt, but I do have a white belt with a lot of experience!"
"If you can’t breathe, you can’t lose."
"Jiu Jitsu is like chess. There are pieces that are larger than others, but all are critical to the victory."
"The only thing that’s tough about Jiu Jitsu is getting on the mat. Once you’re on the mat, just roll with it."
"In Jiu Jitsu, if you can’t laugh about it, you’re doing it wrong."
"Jiu Jitsu: the art of not getting armbarred."
"A black belt only covers two inches of your ass. The rest you have to keep your ego in check."
"In Jiu Jitsu, everyone thinks they’re a grappler until they get punched in the face."
"My favorite position in Jiu Jitsu is still in bed."
"Don’t worry about the guy who taps. Worry about the guy who doesn’t."
"Training Jiu Jitsu is a great way to validate the years I've spent on the couch."
"I thought about going for a jog, but Jiu Jitsu is so much more fun!"
"You can’t buy happiness, but you can train Jiu Jitsu and that’s pretty much the same thing."
"Jiu Jitsu isn’t about being tough. It’s about being smart... and tough!"
"I do Jiu Jitsu because punching people is frowned upon."
"You think you’ve mastered Jiu Jitsu? Just wait until you spar with someone who knows less than you but is twice as stubborn."
"I came for the self-defense and stayed for the weird positions."
"In Jiu Jitsu, ‘tapping out’ is just a fancy term for ‘I’m not in the mood to be a human pretzel today’."
"Why do Jiu Jitsu practitioners go to the gym? To roll with the punches without actually getting hit!"
"In Jiu Jitsu, the more you roll, the less you get rolled on."
"When in doubt, guillotine it out!"
"Real friends don’t let friends get caught in an armbar… they do it for them!"
"Some people collect stamps; I collect rear-naked chokes."
"It's not the size of the dog in the fight; it's the size of the fight in the dog. Unless it’s a black belt, then it's the size of the blue mat."
"I roll to eat pizza!"
"Jiu Jitsu is like a game of chess, except the board is on the ground and the pieces are trying to choke each other."
"I don't always roll, but when I do, my gi shrinks."
"Jiu Jitsu: the art of folding clothes while people are still in them."
"I came for the fitness, I stayed for the strangling."
"My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch. I call it lunch."
"I'd rather be in a triangle than at work."
"Keep calm and tap early."
"Jiu Jitsu is the only sport where you can choke someone without getting arrested."
"BJJ is like a roller coaster: it has its ups and downs, but it’s always thrilling."
"Rolling is like life; sometimes you get choked, sometimes you choke others."
"Do you know why I like jiu-jitsu? Because it’s the only time I get to lay on the ground with my friends."
"Train hard, laugh often, roll with heart."
"Jiu Jitsu: the art of deflecting bad choices through grappling."
"Life is too short to not roll with funny people."
"I’d tell you a Jiu Jitsu joke, but you probably wouldn’t get it until you roll!"
"I love my Jiu Jitsu instructor. He’s like that amazing teacher who always says, ‘You’re doing great,’ right before you get choked out."
"If Jiu Jitsu was easy, it would be called football."
"The only submission I enjoy is at a Brazilian Jiu Jitsu academy."
"I told my friend about my hobbies: Jiu Jitsu and eating. He said I was ‘submitting’ to my cravings."
"In BJJ, the only thing thicker than blood is sweat."
"You know you're a true BJJ player when you’ve started to dream in triangles and arm bars."
"Jiu Jitsu is life; it's all about being comfortable when things get uncomfortable."
"Don’t worry; you’ll be back to normal… just as soon as you can breathe again."
"The best defense is a good laugh."
"Jiu Jitsu: because sometimes you just need a good excuse to be on the floor."
"Tapping out isn’t losing. It’s a sign of being a good dance partner."
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