125 result(s) for Funny Quotes About Cancer.
"I’m not afraid of cancer. I’m afraid of losing my hair."
"If I have cancer, then I’ll just have to throw myself a really great party."
"When life hands you lemons, turn it into lemonade. If you have cancer, then make sure to throw in some vodka."
"You might as well laugh; it is just a body. It’s just a bag of bones."
"I have cancer and it’s a pretty awful thing, but at least I’m getting through it with a good sense of humor."
"Cancer is just my body’s way of telling me, ‘You need to slow down and relax’."
"I decided that I’m too cute to have cancer. I might as well make jokes about it."
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"The only way to deal with cancer is to laugh about it."
"Cancer may take away my physical appearance, but it will never take away my ability to make fun of it."
"I thought I was invincible until I got cancer. Now I just think I’m hilarious."
"Why worry about cancer when you can just laugh your way through it?"
"If humor were the best medicine, I'd be all cured by now."
"I used to think life was too short to work at a job I didn't love. Then I got cancer, and now I think life is too short to take serious!"
"Having cancer is like being on an extended roller coaster. I just laugh through the bumps."
"Cancer is one of those things where you can either laugh or cry. I choose to laugh."
"I got cancer, and now all my friends are head-shavers. At least I’m saving on haircuts!"
"I went to the doctor and he told me I had cancer. I said, 'Well, this won't do at all!' and laughed."
"Living with cancer is tough, but if I can make someone laugh, then I've done my job."
"Cancer is the only thing I’ve encountered that makes me regret my diet. It’s hard to eat cake while you’re on chemo!"
"The only thing I've lost to cancer is my mind, but thankfully I still have my sense of humor!"
"I told my doctor that I would rather have cancer than diet. He agreed. Diets are hard."
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"Every time I get sick, I look in the mirror and remind myself, 'Not today, cancer!'"
"If laughter is the best medicine, then I'm a walking pharmacy! Watch out, cancer."
"They say laughter is contagious; well, cancer has nothing on my sense of humor."
"Why did the cancer cell break up with its partner? Because it was tired of losing control!"
"I don’t like cancer. It’s like a bad roommate that won’t leave you alone."
"If you want to give God a good laugh, tell him your plans."
"Cancer is just a word; it does not define who I am."
"I’m not going to sit around and let this thing beat me to death. I’m going to fight it and eat cake."
"If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito."
"When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye."
"I thought I had a life coach, but it turned out to be cancer."
"Laughter is the best medicine, unless you’re laughing for no reason. Then you might need medicine."
"I’m in a love affair with my life, and cancer isn’t invited."
"Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter."
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"I’m not afraid of death; I just don’t want to be there when it happens."
"The only thing worse than being diagnosed with cancer is having it all kicked in your face by a woman named Carla."
"Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon."
"Anything is possible if you’ve got enough nerve."
"You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy ice cream, and that’s kind of the same thing."
"It’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years."
"A day without laughter is a day wasted."
"We are all a little weird. And life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love."
"I just want to be in the room with people who make me feel okay and let me be myself."
"Don’t wait. The time will never be just right."
"A smile is a curve that sets everything straight."
"The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up."
"I can’t change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination."
"If you think you are beaten, you are. If you think you dare not, you don’t."
"Cancer is funny. You should see the way the doctors react when I tell them I'm into alternative medicine."
"I can’t complain about my life, but I can complain about my cancer. I hope to keep it dark and funny."
"In the end, cancer is just a word—it’s a funny word—one that we’ll often joke about. But it’s the humor that keeps us going."
"I don’t have cancer; I have a life with cancer, and there’s a big difference."
"Laughter is the best medicine for cancer; take two and call me in the morning."
"Cancer can take a lot from you, but it can’t take your sense of humor. That's what I tell myself."
"The experience of living with cancer is like a comedy act - you learn to laugh at the punchline, even if it’s bad."
"I told my doctor I had a lot of pain in my body. He said, 'Well, you don't have cancer. You have life!'"
"If you continue to be brave and laugh at cancer, it has no power over you."
"I think humor is the key to a happy life—even when you’re battling cancer."
"Cancer is a word, not a sentence, and sometimes you have to laugh at it."
"Sometimes, you just have to laugh at your misfortune. After all, cancer is a crappy joke."
"My cancer was negative, so that’s a win! Humor helps put it all in perspective."
"Laughter makes the best armor against cancer; it keeps your spirits high when times are tough."
"The most powerful thing you can do when fighting cancer is to approach it with a healthy dose of humor."
"Cancer is so funny, I might just change careers. Maybe stand-up comedy next!"
"I decided that cancer was not going to be my graveyard. It would be my comedy stage."
"Someone asked me if I believed in life after cancer, I said only if there’s still laughter!"
"So cancer wasn’t on my bucket list, but that doesn’t mean I can’t joke about it."
"Some people think cancer is tragic. I think it's hysterical—every element should just laugh it off!"
"When the world gives you cancer, tell it to 'take a hike' and laugh all the way to recovery!"
"My oncologist says laughter is the best medicine—and I’m taking my prescriptions seriously!"
"When life hands you cancer, throw it back with a smile and a joke!"
"You can’t take life too seriously. Cancer would love it if you did!"
"Wondering how to deal with cancer? Make jokes about it until it just can’t stand to be around you!"
"My motto during cancer treatment: If you can’t laugh at it, you may as well cry – so laugh!"
"Cancer is like a burglar. It can rob you of your health, but it cannot take away your spirit."
"I’m not afraid of dying. I want to be alive forever. So far, so good."
"I would love to have a cancer cure that’s 100% effective. But I don’t know what that would look like, obviously."
"I have cancer. I’m not dead yet. If you’re in the fight, we keep punching."
"Humor is the best medicine. Unless you’re laughing so hard that you cough and then you’re going to need real medicine."
"I've had a great time with cancer. I'm going to be the first person to die from laughter, not cancer."
"If you can laugh at your cancer, you can definitely take it down a notch."
"I don’t have time for cancer. My calendar is full!"
"I realized that my brain was working overtime to think up ridiculous solutions to this ridiculous disease."
"Laughter is all that gets me through this. Well, laughter and a good cocktail."
"Nobody wants to hear about my cancer. Let’s chat about your next vacation instead."
"When life gives you lemons, hide the body."
"I told myself if the cancer ever comes back, I’m throwing a party!"
"I’m not saying I’m going to beat cancer, but I’m definitely going to annoy the heck out of it!"
"If cancer is going to take me, it better do it while I’m laughing."
"They say that laughter is the best medicine, but I think it might just be a distraction."
"Cancer may be my battle, but laughter is my weapon."
"I found out I have cancer. I just wish I had found out I was rich instead."
"So, my doctor says I have cancer. I said, 'In that case, I'll need a superhero costume!'"
"Living with cancer means finding joy and laughter in every day, no matter how tough."
"If there’s one thing cancer has taught me, it’s how to tell a good joke!"
"I can’t let cancer get me down; I have too much funny business to take care of!"
"You won’t believe how much better I feel after telling a few cancer jokes with friends."
"Cancer is serious, but at least it keeps the comedians in business."
"I tell people I'm 'cancerous'—they laugh, I laugh, and we all feel better!"
"The only bright side to cancer is that I get to be the center of attention, with jokes!"
"Cancer is just a word, not a sentence."
"I think I’m going to be a little more careful with my health now that I’m diagnosed with cancer. I guess I’ll have to focus on what I can eat before my next scan, like donuts and brownies."
"If I had known that I was going to have cancer, I would have taken a few more vacations."
"You don’t realize how much you appreciate your body until you don’t have it."
"I don’t want to be the only one who has cancer and gets fat. I want to be a trendsetter."
"Getting cancer is like getting a dog. At first, you’re shocked, but then you realize you can’t live without it."
"Cancer may have started the fight, but I will finish it."
"I’m not fat. I’m just easier to see."
"I was diagnosed with cancer. I didn’t want to talk about it. The more I talked about it, the more I thought about it. And the more I thought about it, the more I realized: it’s just cancer. It’s not like I’m dying or anything."
"Anyone can give up; it’s the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone would expect you to fall apart, now that’s true strength."
"Cancer is like the industry I work in: sometimes it’s busy, and sometimes it’s not. At least I can take a vacation without paying for it."
"You know you have cancer when they continue to scan your body as if looking for a lost item."
"You’re braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think — cancer can't change that."
"There’s no right way to fight cancer, but trying out new methods has made life a bit funnier."
"One day, I realized that I was never going to find the perfect haircut if I wasn’t out there finding it. And then I got cancer, and I found it."
"I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people that make you feel all alone — even with cancer."
"My doctor says I need to take better care of myself. I asked him how, and he said, 'Well, for starters, stop dying.'"
"If I can’t make it comedic, I don’t want to do it."
"I told my doctor I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places."
"Sometimes I want to yell at cancer, 'Get a life!' But then I remember it already has one."
"Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, but learning to dance in the rain — especially when you have cancer."
"Cancer can take away all my physical abilities. It cannot touch my mind, it cannot touch my heart, and it cannot touch my soul."
"It’s like there are two kinds of people: those who fear cancer and those who laugh at it."
"Why did the cancer cell break up with the healthy cell? There were no more connections!"
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