111 result(s) for Funny Quotes About Love And Life.
"I don’t want to be married to someone who feels sorry for me. I want to be married to someone who thinks I’m a laughingstock."
"Love is sharing your popcorn. Life is a combination of magic and pasta."
"Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you wish you had a club and a spade!"
"Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies. And sometimes, it's just a bad sitcom."
"They say love is blind. Well, I'm still looking for my glasses!"
"In this life, you will only be loved by someone who is just as weird as you are."
"Love is not about how many days, months, or years you have been together. Love is about how much you love each other every single day… and also how much you laugh together."
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"You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams, especially if you dream about weird things."
"Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight!"
"A woman knows the face of the man she loves as a sailor knows the sea. And sometimes, while sailing, that sea is stormy!"
"Love is a lot like a backache. It doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s there."
"My love for you is like pi – it’s never-ending and irrational."
"Being in love is like being on drugs, but at least you don’t have to find a dealer."
"If love is the answer, can you rephrase the question?"
"Love is all you need. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt."
"The four most important words in any marriage: 'I’ll do the dishes.'"
"Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener!"
"The best thing to hold onto in life is each other… with a good sense of humor."
"You can’t put a price on love. But you can on all the other stuff – and that’s where it gets tricky."
"Love may be a battlefield, but sometimes it feels like a circus!"
"As you get older, three things happen: The first thing goes, and the other two don’t matter."
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"A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t. A man marries a woman expecting she won’t change, but she does. And that’s life!"
"Life is too important to be taken seriously. Love should be a joyous adventure!"
"I'm in love with you, and I'm not in the business of denying myself the simple pleasure of saying true things."
"If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?"
"A day without laughter is a day wasted."
"Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you're looking for a club and a spade."
"Love is like a tornado; it picks you up off your feet and leaves you wondering where you are."
"Love is not about how many days, months, or years you have been together. Love is about how much you love each other every single day."
"The only thing worse than being single is being married to a boring person."
"Having a husband is like having a pet: You don’t take them with you when you go out, but you need to feed them regularly."
"You can't put a price tag on love, but you can on all its accessories."
"I wanted to marry her because she had the most beautiful smile, and I thought it'd be funny to spend the rest of my life with someone who could make me laugh."
"A man in love is incomplete until he has married. After that, he is finished."
"You can’t blame gravity for falling in love."
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"Love is the only thing that makes me laugh when I don't want to."
"An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today."
"A woman knows the face of the man she loves as a sailor knows the open sea."
"Love is an ice cream sundae, with all the marvelous coverings. Sex is the cherry on top."
"Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it’s probably crap."
"I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right."
"Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is a husband."
"Love is sharing your popcorn. Even if you wouldn’t normally do that."
"A man in love is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished."
"Love is all about making your partner feel special. And letting your dog sleep in your bed."
"Behind every great man, there is a woman rolling her eyes."
"To me, you are perfect."
"Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener."
"There’s nothing wrong with being shallow as long as you’re insightful about it."
"Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies… and probably a shared Netflix account."
"To be in love is merely to be in a state of perceptual anesthesia."
"A great man once said nothing at all."
"I love you to the moon and back. And also, could you pass the remote?"
"There is no remedy for love but to love more."
"Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not."
"Love is just a word until someone comes along and gives it meaning… and a tax deduction."
"You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams."
"Love is an ocean of emotions entirely surrounded by expenses."
"Marriage is like a deck of cards. At the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you're looking for a club and a spade."
"I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury."
"You can’t put a price on love, but you can on restaurant bills."
"The four most beautiful words in our common language: I told you so."
"I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox."
"Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties."
"A man in love is like a clipped coupon; it’s good only for the moment."
"Behind every successful man is a surprised woman."
"Love is like the wind, you can't see it but you can feel it."
"I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life."
"The four most important words in any marriage: 'I'll do the dishes.'"
"Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage."
"I love you not only for who you are, but for who I am when I am with you."
"Love is an electric blanket with someone else in control of the switch."
"I don’t know what I would do without you. I mean, I would have more money and time, but that’s beside the point."
"If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to."
"The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret."
"Love is the answer, but while you’re waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty interesting questions."
"It doesn’t matter who you love, it matters that you love."
"Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies."
"A hug is like a boomerang – you get it back right away."
"Love is telling someone to go to hell and worrying if they get there safely."
"Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy."
"Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are."
"I didn't know how to get through life until I got married. Now I'm just not sure how to get through marriage."
"I love you more than coffee, but please don’t make me prove it."
"If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?"
"Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it's probably crap."
"I love you more than coffee, but please don't make me prove it."
"Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband."
"I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender."
"Love is sharing your popcorn."
"Behind every great man, there’s a woman rolling her eyes."
"I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do so much of it?"
"Finding love is like finding a parking spot. All the good ones are taken, so you just have to settle for one that’s not so great."
"I knew I loved you before I met you. I was in the wrong bar."
"As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe my budding career as a tour guide was a bad idea."
"Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies, and also, a lot of tolerance for each other’s quirks."
"My wife and I have been married for 20 years. We have been happy for 19 of them. We were happy during the first year, even though we didn't really know each other."
"If love is the answer, could you repeat the question?"
"Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener."
"I never said it would be easy, I only said it would be worth it—and sometimes, it also includes arguing about where to eat."
"I love you like a fat kid loves cake."
"A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once."
"Love is sharing your bed with a snoring monster who steals the covers."
"You can’t put a price on love, but you can on fish, and that’s pretty close."
"Love is an explosion that burns your heart but warms your soul."
"I didn’t fall for you; I tripped."
"Love is what makes you smile when you’re tired."
"One of the most important things you can do on this earth is to let people know they are not alone—but please don’t follow them to the bathroom."
"You can't make everyone happy. You are not a taco."
"Love is like Wi-Fi: It’s all around you, but sometimes you have to connect to it."
"Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth."
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