127 result(s) for Funny Quotes For Teachers.
"I told my dad to embrace his mistakes. He cried. Then he hugged my sister and me."
"Teaching is a walk in the park. Jurassic Park."
"I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off!"
"Why did the teacher wear sunglasses? Because his students were so bright!"
"My students make me laugh, but the grades they give me on my jokes do not."
"I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure."
"To be a teacher, you must have the heart of a lion, the patience of a saint, and the sense of humor of a comedian."
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"Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems."
"Teaching is like a love affair; if you don’t have your heart in it, you might as well pack your bags and go home."
"Good teachers are like candles; they consume themselves to light the way for others—but they should really learn to charge more!"
"Behind every great student is a teacher who’s pretty sure she’s screwing it up."
"I’m not a teacher, but I play one in school."
"I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it. Just like I see quizzes, and I grade them!"
"The best part of teaching? When you make a joke, and actually hear a student laugh instead of groan."
"All the lessons in the world won’t teach you how not to cringe when a student asks, 'Is this going to be on the test?'"
"Why did the teacher go to the beach? Because she wanted to test the waters!"
"If at first you don’t succeed, try doing it the way your teacher told you to."
"Remember, the only dumb question is the one that didn’t get asked—unless you’re in calculus class."
"I can’t believe I have to keep telling students to stop asking for extra credit! Do I look like a credit union?"
"Teaching: A profession where you can get paid for talking to people without them interrupting you."
"I’m so glad we had this time together, even if it was in my dreams."
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"The key to getting kids to listen is to add ‘Just kidding’ at the end of everything you say."
"If you think education is expensive, try ignorance."
"Why was the teacher wearing a belt? To hold up her pants! No wait, never mind, her grades are still falling."
"Dear teachers, out there working harder than us. You’re our heroes… especially when you let us ignore the homework!"
"Those who can, teach. And those who can’t, complain about the teachers."
"I never teach my pupils, I only attempt to provide the conditions in which they can learn."
"Teaching is a profession where you can get fired for saying the truth."
"A teacher is a person who never says, 'I told you so.'"
"I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks."
"The best teachers teach from the heart, not from the book."
"You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink. You can teach a child to read, but you can’t make them think."
"I’m just a teacher standing in front of a class asking them to love me."
"Why are we so busy teaching kids to memorize facts? Shouldn’t we teach them how to be human?"
"They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel."
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"The road to freedom is paved with the bricks of education."
"The difference between a good teacher and a great teacher is enthusiasm."
"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."
"There are no classes in life for beginners: right away, you are always asked to deal with what is most difficult."
"I'm not saying that I am the best teacher in the world, but the way I walk into class should make them feel like I've been teaching for 26 years."
"If at first you don't succeed, try doing it the way your teacher told you to in the beginning."
"Being a student is easy. Learning requires actual work."
"When the student is ready, the teacher will appear."
"Teaching is the greatest act of optimism."
"To teach is to learn twice."
"Teachers are unpaid laborers in the agriculture of the future."
"I teach because I care; I teach because I rage against the dying of the light."
"Good teachers know how to bring out the best in students."
"Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia."
"Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance."
"Teaching is a fine job, if you can afford it."
"I told my teacher I was going to be a comedian. She said, 'You're not funny.' I said, 'I'm a teacher, I should know.'"
"I was a very good student. I studied my but off. I even started doing my homework in my sleep."
"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself... and maybe a pop quiz."
"Why did the teacher wear sunglasses? Because her students were so bright!"
"Teaching: the only profession that creates all other professions."
"To teach is to learn twice—unless you forgot the lesson plan!"
"I have a memory like an elephant. I remember every elephant I ever met."
"There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure...and a little bit of humor!"
"I can't teach you to be funny, but I can teach you to appreciate funny!"
"Educators are the only people who lose sleep over other people's kids."
"Dear teacher, I just wanted to let you know: I was trying to study, but I got distracted... by your awesomeness!"
"Why did the student eat his homework? Because the teacher told him it was a piece of cake!"
"I'd like to see the world one day when teachers don't have to grade papers!"
"Behind every successful student is a teacher who is pretty sure she’s screwing it up."
"You know you’re a teacher when you see your students in public and suddenly can't remember how to talk."
"You can't make everyone happy. You're not a teacher's grade book!"
"A teacher affects eternity; he can never tell where his influence stops... but probably in the lunch line."
"They say those who can't do, teach. But where do the teachers go to do their living? To brunch!"
"If you think education is expensive, try ignorance... and failing that pop quiz!"
"Teaching is not a lost art, but the regard for it is a lost tradition."
"I have only one edge over my students: I know more about their future than they do!"
"Teaching math is like trying to explain algebra to a cat... and cats don't listen!"
"A good teacher explains, while a great teacher inspires... and makes you laugh!"
"Without teachers, life would have no class!"
"A good education is a foundation for a better future... and better jokes!"
"I told my teacher I’d never amount to anything! She said nothing, she just gave me a detention!"
"Teaching is a lot like washing a cat: you can do it well or you can do it fast, but you can’t do both."
"I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career."
"Of all the things I’ve ever stolen, my heart belongs to my students."
"The only time a teacher is correct is when she’s talking about a bad hair day."
"The school of hard knocks is not a real school—it's a real life experience."
"If at first you don’t succeed, try doing it the way the teacher told you to."
"Education is learning what you didn’t even know you didn’t know."
"Teaching kids to count is fine, but teaching them what counts is best."
"I’m a teacher; don’t ask me for advice unless you’re prepared for a lot of homework."
"The goal of education is the advancement of knowledge and the dissemination of truth."
"It’s like riding a bike, except the bike is on fire and you’re on fire and everything is on fire because you’re in hell."
"Teachers are just walking encyclopedias of knowledge… and sometimes bad jokes."
"If you can’t convince them, confuse them."
"I’m not a teacher; I’m an awakener."
"I can’t teach you anything, but I can help you learn."
"To teach is to touch a life forever… whether that life appreciates it or not."
"I always tell my students, 'Don’t be afraid to ask for help… unless it’s math.'"
"The man who moves a mountain begins by carrying away small stones."
"Behind every great student is a teacher who believed in them."
"A teacher is one who makes himself progressively unnecessary."
"There are no mistakes, only learning opportunities."
"Teachers are like coffee: they can warm you up on the coldest of days."
"To be a successful teacher, one must be a little bit crazy!"
"The secret of teaching is to appear to have known all your life what you just learned this morning."
"I’m not a teacher, but an awakener."
"Teaching is like walking through a minefield. You never know what your kids are going to say."
"The only thing worse than a teacher who yells is a teacher who laughs with a crazy look in their eyes."
"A good teacher is like a candle – it consumes itself to light the way for others."
"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won’t work."
"Those who can’t do, teach. And those who can’t teach, teach gym."
"I never teach my pupils. I only attempt to provide the conditions in which they can learn."
"It’s not that I’m so smart, it’s just that I stay with problems longer."
"There are three good reasons to be a teacher: June, July, and August."
"Education is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learned in school."
"The best way to predict the future is to create it."
"If at first you don’t succeed, try doing it the way your teacher told you to in the beginning."
"Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn."
"A teacher affects eternity; he can never tell where his influence stops."
"What the teacher is, is more important than what he teaches."
"Classroom rules: 1. Don’t eat the teacher’s pens. 2. Don’t pull the fire alarm. 3. Don’t forget your homework."
"The student who gets the least amount of sleep is always the one who forgot to study."
"Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire."
"I would like to be a teacher because I would really enjoy breaking the rules."
"Teaching: The one profession that creates all other professions."
"Teaching is a vast and complex process that can’t be captured in simplistic frameworks."
"You know you're a teacher when your classroom is filled with the sound of 'What if...'"
"Being a teacher is like being a chef: you must keep people fed or they get cranky!"
"The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces."
"I teach because I care about my students, and I want them to succeed – also, summer break is nice!"
"Education is important, but big biceps are more important."
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