126 result(s) for Funny Church Sign Quotes.
"We love hurting people. We love Healing people. We love cheese fries."
"Don't let worries kill you. Let the church help."
"If you think it's hard to come to church, try not going!"
"God doesn’t do performance reviews, but He does allow you to take work home!"
"Need an ark? I Noah guy."
"It's hard to stumble when you are on your knees."
"You're never too lost to be found... just like your car keys."
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"God is like a Wi-Fi signal. We can’t see Him, but we know He’s there."
"Church parking only. All others will be towed!"
"Feeling like the world's worst sinner? Join the club!"
"This church is prayer conditioned."
"Don’t let the devil steal your joy. Don’t let him steal your donuts either!"
"It's a good thing we don’t know where God hides our sins. That’s His business, not ours!"
"If you think the pastor is long-winded, just wait until he starts on his second cup of coffee!"
"This is a house of prayer. Not a house of gossip."
"Laughter is the best medicine. Unless you don’t have your medical insurance!"
"Running late? Don’t forget that it’s church! God understands!"
"Why didn’t Noah ever go fishing? He only had two worms!"
"I don't always go to church, but when I do, I prefer it to be this one!"
"Your sermon today is brought to you by the number '5' and the color 'green.'"
"I used to be a banker, but I lost interest!"
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"Eggs-cellent church service this Sunday!"
"God’s answers are usually not on the same line as your complaints!"
"Plan A: Pray. Plan B: Pray harder!"
"Don’t worry about the world ending today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia!"
"If you think it's hot here, wait until you get to our next service."
"Don't let worries kill you. Let the church help!"
"This church is like a gym for your soul."
"Feeling low? The church has a great high that will lift you up!"
"The Lord is my shepherd, but I still need to set my alarm for church!"
"Come in and take a seat! We have more chairs than the congregation."
"Tithing: the original 'give and take.'"
"We’re just a bunch of sinners saved by grace, mostly by chocolate!"
"God always answers your prayers. Sometimes he says ‘not now’!"
"Join us for worship – we have coffee!"
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"In case of rapture, this church will remain open!"
"House of prayer: Now with 20% more prayer!"
"God can turn water into wine. But can he turn my coffee into active faith?"
"Jesus had 12 disciples, but you only need 1 seat!"
"The best things in life are free – including our service!"
"If God is your co-pilot, switch seats!"
"We’re on a mission from God. (And we have snacks!)"
"Be the reason someone smiles today – or at least the reason they don’t frown!"
"Our church is like fudge: mostly sweet with a few nuts."
"Bibles are like software; they get updated hard to find the right version!"
"This is a no-judgment zone! Unless you’re judging the coffee."
"Sermons are better when the preacher uses a microphone!"
"The more you pray, the less you pay – no interest!"
"Life is short. Pray hard. Laugh often!"
"If you can read this, you're invited to our next service!"
"We’re not dairy products, but we’re in a pickle! Join us this Sunday!"
"Don’t let worries kill you, let the church help!"
"Worry is interest paid on trouble before it’s due."
"Come in for a faith lift!"
"This church is like a family, we all get to heaven on a one-way ticket!"
"God wants spiritual fruit, not religious nuts."
"Worship with your heart, your mind, and maybe your rhythm!"
"If you're not Christian, don't worry. We'll pray for your GPS!"
"Having trouble sleeping? Come hear our preacher!"
"Love your neighbor, but make sure to keep your fence!"
"Join us for worship this week! Free coffee included."
"You’re never too old to grow up! Join us this Sunday."
"God’s house: We don’t throw shade, we cast blessings!"
"Heaven is a place for those with a good sense of humor!"
"Don’t make me come down there! – God"
"Don't let the last nail in your coffin be a typo!"
"Sign broken, message inside!"
"You think it’s hot in here? Try hell!"
"You can't make everyone happy. You are not a taco!"
"The church is where you can find a friend who will never unfollow you!"
"Jesus loves you! And so do we! Seriously, we do!"
"Honk if you love Jesus! Text while driving if you want to meet Him!"
"Put your faith in God—He has the best WiFi."
"Be an angel—send us your $!"
"Pardon our dust—God is not finished with us yet."
"We are all missionaries. Some are called to do coffee, others to do the preaching!"
"Whoever stole our AC, keep it! It’s hot where you’re going."
"The church is prayer-conditioned!"
"You think it's hot here? You should see where you’re going!"
"Our church is like Noah’s Ark: we’re all in here together."
"Feeling down? Just remember, even the signs can’t point the way without a little help!"
"Honk if you love Jesus. Text while driving if you want to meet Him."
"Having trouble sleeping? We have sermons on all night!"
"God’s last name is not Dammit."
"Join us for a real 'holy ghost' experience this Sunday."
"Want to meet God? Come sit in the front row... it’s a great view!"
"God has a sense of humor! Just look at some of His creations!"
"If you could see the love in our hearts, you’d understand why we welcome all imperfections."
"Don’t let your worries kill you; let the church help."
"Life without God is like an unsharpened pencil: no point."
"No perfect people allowed! We’re all sinners here!"
"Love your neighbor as yourself; but that doesn’t mean you have to like them!"
"God’s word is like a good meal: best when served hot!"
"Welcome to our church! Please leave your troubles and your wallets at the door."
"Free coffee and donuts! (Just try to not spill it during praise!)"
"Stay in the Spirit! Just not too many spirits on Saturday night."
"It's a beautiful day to be a sinner, but we're here to help!"
"We’d love to have you! Unless you’re a bird - they always leave a mess!"
"The sermon this week: 'What to do when God seems distant, and the WiFi is down!'"
"Don't make me come down there, God."
"Need a lifeguard? Ours walks on water."
"Want to go to heaven? Us too!!"
"This church is like Noah's Ark: lots of animals, but no room for crocodiles."
"God recycles: He made you from dust."
"Don't wait for the hearse to take you to church."
"Caution: The church is not a museum for saints, but a hospital for sinners."
"The best vitamin for a Christian is B1."
"God loves you, but I’m his favorite."
"Heaven has a gate, Hell has a fence."
"Prayer: The original wireless connection."
"Life is hard by the yard, but a cinch by the inch."
"Tithe if you love Jesus! Any fool can honk."
"Feeling down? Lift up your hands."
"We’re not perfect—just forgiven."
"Real friends don’t let friends go to hell."
"Don't let worries kill you; let the church help."
"If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in bed with a mosquito."
"You think it’s hot here?!"
"Welcome to our church! We love to pray, and we also love to eat!"
"If you’re too busy to pray, you’re too busy."
"God doesn’t have a phone, but you can reach Him any time."
"Join us every Sunday for a little pick-me-up!"
"When life gives you lemons, just add some sugar and make lemonade. Just don’t forget to pray!"
"Have trouble sleeping? Stop by for a prayer service—come as you are."
"The Good Lord didn’t create anything without a purpose, but mosquitoes come close."
"Youth is like a good tune—you can’t help but sing along!"
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