110 result(s) for Funny Quotes For Instagram Bio.
"I’m on the patch right now! Just kidding, it’s my couch."
"Maybe I should just start a blog. Oh wait, I already have!"
"Running late is my cardio."
"I'm not a complete idiot — some parts are missing."
"I would agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong."
"I need six months of vacation, twice a year."
"Just because you’re awake doesn’t mean you should stop dreaming."
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"The only running I do is running out of time."
"If I was funny, I would have a good Instagram bio."
"I don’t need therapy, I just need a good laugh."
"I’m in a love affair with my bed."
"I’m not really a control freak, but can I show you the right way to do that?"
"Brains are awesome. I wish everybody had one!"
"I put the ‘Pro’ in procrastination."
"I don’t do fitness, I just eat salad."
"Currently avoiding adulting like it’s my job."
"If you think I'm crazy, you should see my friends!"
"I’m not great at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?"
"My hobbies include eating and complaining that I’m getting fat."
"I’m here to avoid friends on Facebook."
"I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode."
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"My bed is a magical place I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do."
"If there’s a will, there are 500 relatives."
"I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not too sure."
"Sure, I do marathons. On Netflix."
"My life feels like a test I didn’t study for."
"Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!"
"The best part of waking up is going back to sleep."
"I’m not short, I’m fun-sized!"
"I drink coffee for your protection."
"Sometimes I pretend to be normal. But it gets boring. So I go back to being me."
"I’m just here to avoid friends on Facebook."
"If you think I’m crazy, you should see my family."
"I’m not weird, I’m limited edition."
"The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces."
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"I can’t believe I still have to put on pants to go to the office."
"Eating cake is my favorite exercise."
"Just because you're awake doesn't mean you should stop dreaming."
"I’m talented at procrastination."
"I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already."
"I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right."
"I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy-saving mode."
"I put the 'Pro' in procrastinate."
"If there’s a will, there’s a way…and a pizza."
"I'm not a complete idiot; some parts are missing."
"Of course I talk to myself; sometimes I need expert advice."
"I can't adult today. Please don't make me."
"Maybe you should eat makeup so you can be pretty on the inside."
"I'm in shape. Round is a shape."
"It was all a dream, but so are my outfits."
"I'm on my way to steal your dog."
"Take my advice; I’m not using it."
"I’m actually a unicorn in disguise."
"Normal is boring. Be weird."
"My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch. I call it lunch."
"Don’t worry if plan A doesn’t work; there are 25 more letters in the alphabet."
"If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you."
"I'm not sure how many problems I have because math is one of them."
"I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not too sure."
"Dear insomnia, thanks for being my best friend."
"I'm not lazy, I'm on energy-saving mode."
"Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth."
"If I were a vegetable, I’d be a ‘cucumber’ because I’m cool."
"I don’t need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning."
"Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?"
"I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me beach wallpapers."
"Today’s forecast: 100% chance of winning!"
"I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge."
"Excuse me while I multitask—I'm doing nothing all at once."
"I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already."
"If you think I’m crazy, you should meet my friends."
"I can’t adult today. Please don’t make me."
"Sometimes I pretend to be normal, but it gets boring. So I go back to being me."
"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken."
"I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure."
"My therapist said time heals all wounds, so I bought a clock."
"I’m just a girl, standing in front of a salad, asking it to be a donut."
"Although I’m not a hoarder, I really like to collect memories."
"When nothing goes right, go left."
"The early bird can have the worm, because worms are gross and mornings are stupid."
"If there’s a will, there’s a way, but I’d rather stay in bed."
"I’m like a butterfly. Pretty to see, hard to catch."
"I don’t suffer from insanity—I enjoy every minute of it."
"I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right."
"I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it."
"If you think I’m crazy, you should see my sister."
"I put the ‘pro’ in procrastinate."
"I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode."
"My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do."
"I followed my heart and it led me to the fridge."
"Sweeter than honey, but I’m a little sour."
"Out of my mind. Back in five minutes."
"I'm just a cupcake in a world full of muffins."
"I’m not short, I’m fun-sized."
"Life is too short to be serious. Just kidding, I’m always serious."
"I may be a handful, but that’s why you’ve got two hands."
"I’m like a butterfly: pretty to see, but hard to catch."
"If I had a dollar for every time I got distracted… I wish I had a puppy."
"I don’t need a hairstylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning."
"I’m the reason I’m late to everything."
"Reality called, so I hung up."
"I could be a morning person… if morning started around noon."
"I like hashtags because they look like waffles."
"I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing."
"My life feels like a test I didn't study for."
"You can’t make everybody happy. You aren’t pizza."
"I only work out on days that end with 'y'."
"Be a voice, not an echo."
"I’m not great at advice, but can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?"
"I don’t want to adult today."
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