126 result(s) for Funny Shark Quotes.
"I'm a shark, and I'm a great white shark. I'm going to eat you! Just kidding, I'm a vegetarian shark."
"The only thing I have to fear is fish without fins!"
"What do sharks like to eat with peanut butter? Jellyfish!"
"What do you call a shark that’s a magician? A jaw-some illusionist!"
"I don't need therapy. I just need to go swimming with sharks."
"Shark week is the only week where it’s acceptable for people to say they are 'part of the family'"
"What's a shark's favorite instrument? The bass guitar!"
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"To a shark, all humans are just 'sushi in training'."
"Why do sharks always know how much they weigh? Because they have their own scales!"
"Sharks are the only fish that do not have a strong sense of direction; that's why they eat fish that go to school!"
"Never go swimming with a shark unless you have a really, really good reason — like swimming in a shark tank for comedy!"
"What's a shark's favorite exercise? Jaws and mackle!"
"What did one shark say to the other while eating a clownfish? 'Does this taste funny to you?'"
"Shark jokes are great; they always bite!"
"Why was the shark so good at basketball? Because it had a lot of fins!"
"If you’re ever feeling blue, just remember there’s a shark that just got rejected from a sushi bar!"
"A day without laughter is a day wasted, unless you're a shark — then it's just a meal gone wrong!"
"What's a shark's favorite game? I Spy with my little eye... something that’s fishy!"
"How do sharks keep their teeth clean? They use toothpaste that's made from fish scales!"
"Sharks might be terrifying, but they can be the life of the underwater party!"
"If a shark doesn’t have a fin, it’s really just a fish in a suit!"
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"I asked a shark how it stays so fit. It said, ‘I swim a lot, but I really watch what I eat — no junk food for me!' "
"You are what you eat, and I don’t like looking like a piece of sushi!"
"Why did the great white shark fail its exam? Because it kept swimming around the questions!"
"I'm not afraid of sharks — they should be afraid of my dance moves!"
"I love sharks. What’s not to love? They’ve been around for over 400 million years. They’re like the dinosaurs of the ocean. They’ve seen stuff you wouldn’t believe."
"Sharks are the most misunderstood creatures on the planet. I mean, come on, they’ve never even eaten a clownfish!"
"I'm not a shark expert. But I've seen the data. They pretty much kill everything that swims!"
"If you’re in the ocean and you see a shark, stay calm. Just remember, it’s more scared of you than you are of it. Unless you’re a seal."
"Did you hear about the shark who went to a party? He had a whale of a time!"
"Shark week is like Christmas for nerds. Just don’t unwrap the shark!"
"Sharks have a good sense of humor. Just ask the pilot fish!"
"Why don't sharks like fast food? Because they can't catch it!"
"Sharks are great! They are amazing! Just keep your limbs in the boat."
"What do you call a shark that can’t stop singing? A shark-chorus!"
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"You know you're getting old when your back goes out more than you do. Just like a shark looking for a meal!"
"Why don’t sharks ever go to school? Because they already know how to swim!"
"I was once chased by a shark. It was more interested in my surfboard than me!"
"The only time I want to see a shark is in a movie, preferably with a popcorn bucket in hand."
"If I were a shark, I'd start a cooking show because everyone loves soup! Shark fin soup, that is."
"On a scale of one to ten, my fear of sharks is an eleven."
"What did the shark say after a meal? That tasted a little fishy!"
"Sharks don’t have a sense of humor, but if they did, I think it would be biting."
"They say the ocean is full of wonders. I think they mean mostly sharks, though!"
"If you think you’re having a bad day, imagine being a shark in an aquarium."
"I watched a documentary about sharks. They’re basically ocean cats with better PR."
"I asked my friend what he would do if he saw a shark. He said he’d give it a high five! Sounds like a risky move to me!"
"What do you call a shark that's a bad comedian? A jawbreaker!"
"Remember: If a shark bites you and swims away, it's just giving you a taste of the ocean's wrath!"
"I don't eat fish, I just like to watch them swim,"
"What do you call a shark that’s a great musician? A tuna fish!"
"I’m not afraid of sharks. They’re like puppies, only with really sharp teeth."
"Why don't sharks like fast food? Because they can’t catch it!"
"Sharks are the most misunderstood creatures. They’re basically the puppies of the ocean."
"Why did the shark cross the great barrier reef? To get to the other tide!"
"Not all sharks are bad; just the ones on reality TV!"
"When life gets you down, just remember: even sharks have to swim every day!"
"I'm just a shark that wanted to become a whale. What's so wrong with that?"
"You don’t need a parachute to skydive. You need a parachute to skydive twice. But if you’re a shark, you don’t need either one!"
"Why do sharks always swim in salt water? Because pepper water makes them sneeze!"
"I'm a shark in a sea of goldfish."
"Every time I go to the beach, I think: I'm the most dangerous shark in the water!"
"Even sharks need friends. They just prefer those who are non-swimmers!"
"Why do sharks hate working at the beach? Too many sand dollars!"
"Sharks are just like cats; they don't care about you unless you have food."
"Why did the shark refuse to play cards? Because he was afraid of cheetahs!"
"What did the baby shark say to its mom? 'Don't worry, I'm fin-tastic!'"
"You call it the 'ocean.' I call it my buffet!"
"Sharks: Nature’s way of balancing out the ridiculousness of humans."
"If I were a shark, I’d have a much bigger fan base."
"What do you call a shark that wears a bowtie? Sofishticated!"
"I thought I was the biggest fish in the sea until I met a shark!"
"Let’s make a splash and dive into the fun… just not with the sharks!"
"What kind of shark loves to show off his skills? A great white shark!"
"What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh!"
"Sharks are the most misunderstood creatures in the ocean. They’re like the teenage rebels of the sea world."
"I’m a shark in a sea of guppies."
"Why did the shark cross the ocean? To eat the chicken on the other side!"
"Do you want to hear a joke about sharks? Just kidding. They’re really good at swimming away with the punchline."
"A shark walks into a bar, and the bartender says, ‘Why the long face?’"
"If you think swimming with sharks is scary, try doing it while holding a sandwich!"
"The only thing better than a sea full of fish is a sea full of shark jokes!"
"We're not talking about a bunch of cuddly kittens here; we're talking about 400 million years of evolution that created the ultimate predator: the shark."
"If you're going to swim with sharks, you might as well wear a tutu!"
"What do great white sharks eat for breakfast? A bowl of men-keys!"
"Why are sharks so good at finding sneakers? They have an incredible sense of sole."
"What does a shark say when it makes a mistake? ‘Darn it, I flippered up!’"
"Sharks are like cousins you can’t escape from. They just keep showing up wherever you go."
"When you’re a shark, every day is a new adventure full of bites and snacks!"
"I once dated a shark. It went swimmingly until he got a bit too ‘bitey’!"
"Why did the shark bring a towel? Because he had a little 'fin' to dry off!"
"If I were a shark, I'd choose to be a 'great' one, because why not aim high?"
"What did the shark say to the seal at the party? ‘Let’s eat, drink, and be scary!’"
"Sharks: they’re not just fish, they’re a big deal! Get it? Big deals swim deep!"
"Behind every good shark is an even better personal trainer."
"Sharks may be fierce, but they have a soft spot for… seals! (Oops, that’s awkward.)"
"Why was the shark such a great musician? Because he always knew how to pick the right scale!"
"Sharks: nature's very own swimming practical jokers."
"What do you get when you cross a shark with a snowman? Frostbite!"
"If sharks had a dating app, I bet they'd swipe right real quick!"
"I don't need therapy, I just need to go on a shark dive."
"Sharks are like dogs. They only bite when you touch their private parts."
"I'm not a fish; I'm a shark. If you’re not scared of me, you should be!"
"Never make a shark in a bad mood your friend."
"Sharks are just kind of like the employee of the month for being at the top of the food chain."
"A shark is not a shark unless it has a person or two on its list."
"They say a shark is the only fish that can’t swim backwards, which makes sense because so few of them can think backwards!"
"Why don’t sharks like fast food? Because they can’t catch it!"
"I love sharks. I love them so much that I would do anything to keep them away from my lunch!"
"What does a shark do when it sees a fancy fish? It goes, ‘Oh, here comes the sushi!’"
"Why did the shark cross the Great Barrier Reef? To eat the chicken on the other side!"
"Sharks are the perfect metaphor for the corporate world: work hard, stay aggressive, and try not to die!"
"What do you call a shark that delivers packages? A FedEx shark!"
"What’s a shark’s favorite instrument? The bass guitar!"
"Why do sharks always swim in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze!"
"How do sharks greet each other? With a jawsome handshake!"
"Shark puns are whale-y funny!"
"It isn’t shark week until someone wears a shark suit and jumps into the ocean without thinking!"
"There are two types of people: those who love sharks and those who are too afraid to love them!"
"A shark’s favorite movie? Jaws, obviously!"
"What’s a shark’s favorite exercise? Anything the tail end can do!"
"Why did the shark break up with its partner? It found someone more slippery!"
"Sharks are proof that you can have a killer instinct and still be chill at the same time!"
"I tried to start a shark-themed band, but they wouldn’t let me play — they said I only played too rough!"
"What did the shark say to its therapist? 'I just can’t seem to find my school!'"
"Just keep swimming, just keep swimming… but watch out for tiny bites!"
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