123 result(s) for Cartman Quotes.
"You know, I love this place. I love it so much I could just kiss it."
"Whatever! I do what I want!"
"I'm not your buddy, guy!"
"I have a dream... and it's a big one."
"I love the smell of bacon in the morning."
"I did not think I would find something I love this much on my way to gaining total control!"
"If you're going to be a player, you better learn to play the game."
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"Being a kid is great. You can do almost anything you want and nobody really stops you."
"They can take our lives, but they can never take our freedom!"
"There's a time and place for everything, but not necessarily in that order."
"I'm going to make you wish you had never been born!"
"I don't have to listen to you. I'm a kid!"
"Oh, I'm sorry. Did I break your concentration?"
"It's a great day to be a kid!"
"Sometimes I just want to be left alone."
"You can't take my dreams away from me!"
"Respect my authoritah!"
"I'm not a monster; I'm just an angry little boy."
"I may be a kid, but I know what I want in life."
"You think you can embarrass me? I have no shame!"
"This is why we can’t have nice things!"
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"I'm going to make sure my ideas are heard, even if I have to shout them!"
"I know you are, but what am I?"
"I'm not fat, I'm big-boned!"
"Whatever I do, I do it 100%."
"It's not my fault you didn't let me finish!"
"I just want to be special."
"I can't wait to see how this turns out!"
"I'm going to do what I want, and you can't stop me!"
"I don't care what you think!"
"At least I'm not a ginger!"
"Oh, I like being a kid."
"You guys are just jealous of my super awesome vacation!"
"I am going to be the greatest musician in the world!"
"You can’t just throw your friends away like garbage!"
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"I'm not your friend; I'm your best friend."
"If I had a million dollars, I’d be rich!"
"Cartman's Law: If it’s funny, it’s funny."
"I’m going to give you a little lesson on transitive property."
"As long as I get what I want, I don't care about anyone else."
"Think of all the possibilities if you were in charge!"
"You're just mad because I beat you at your own game!"
"I'm not just a kid; I'm a genius!"
"To hell with all of you; I'm going to start a new life!"
"Come on, let's get this over with."
"I don't believe in morality. I believe in power."
"You'll never find all the hidden treasures of my heart!"
"I ain't fat, I'm festively plump!"
"Whatever, I do what I want!"
"You know, I’ve learned something today. I’ve learned that sometimes you have to take a stand for what you believe in, even if you’re alone."
"I’m not a bad kid. I’m just misunderstood!"
"You can't put a price on this! We're talking about love!"
"It's not my fault that I’m fat! It’s society’s fault!"
"I'm going to do what I want, and there's nothing you can do about it!"
"I'm not just a regular kid. I'm a special kid!"
"If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?"
"When you get older, you realize that it's not just about you anymore."
"I did not choose the fat life! The fat life chose me!"
"I smell like cats!"
"I’m going to make you an offer you can’t refuse."
"I'm super cereal!"
"I'm not a complicit little pig! I'm just a good boy!"
"You guys are just jealous because I’m a genius!"
"Goodbye, you pieces of trash!"
"I would never eat a hamburger. I would eat a taco."
"Everyone's always yelling at me to grow up. Well, guess what? I'm going to stay a kid forever!"
"There's only one person who can put a stop to this: Me."
"You can’t argue with stupid!"
"It’s all about balance! I can have the cake and eat it too!"
"I have a dream... that one day, all bacon will be free."
"What I do is for the greater good of mankind!"
"If you’re not in on the joke, you’re part of the punchline!"
"Screw you guys, I’m going home!"
"I’m not fat, I’m big-boned!"
"If you’re a kid and you’ve got a bad attitude, that’s why you get bullied."
"The truth is, I don’t believe in anything. I just try to make my life into a comedy."
"I’m going to do what I do best: lie, steal, cheat, and survive!"
"Whatever, I’m eating."
"I’ve learned that life is one giant chew toy."
"You know, I’m starting to think maybe I really am a bad person."
"I learned something today. I learned that I was a bad person."
"I hate you guys! I’m going to go play in the snow!"
"I’m not always a good person, but I’m always Eric Cartman."
"I’m not crazy, I’m just a little unwell."
"It’s easy to laugh at me, but it’s harder to love me."
"Aw, it’s not my fault I’m so popular!"
"I would rather die than be fat!"
"I am not a simulation of your failed expectations."
"What, do you think I’m going to go up there and be like, 'Boys don't cry, but bitches do'? Seriously?"
"Life's like a box of chocolate. You always know what you're gonna get if you pick the right one."
"Cartman’s always right."
"Nobody can keep a secret like a child."
"I think he might be getting some help... from his mom! Hm!"
"You guys, I don't want to be a part of your stupid game!"
"I'm in love with a girl named Cthulhu!"
"There's no way to make everyone happy, so you might as well just make yourself happy!"
"Screw you guys, I'm going home!"
"I’m not fat; I’m big-boned!"
"Respect my authority!"
"If you don't have anything nice to say, you're probably talking about me."
"You will respect my authority!"
"I hate you guys! You guys are the worst!"
"There's no way I'm going to sit here and listen to you talk about your stupid feelings."
"It’s not my fault you don’t have any friends!"
"Whatever, I’m not even going to care."
"I love you, Unplanned Parenthood!"
"This is why people hate you, Stan!"
"I didn't do it! I wasn't even here!"
"You guys, I'm going to be a billionaire!"
"I'm not a bad person; I just have bad luck."
"Hey, you know what? I can be a total [expletive]."
"You can’t be the smartest kid in class AND the best-looking."
"If you don't like it, then go back to your country!"
"I’m going to put my foot down and I’m going to be seen, and I’m going to be heard!"
"This is my room and my rules!"
"I don’t need to learn anything. I’m already perfect."
"I won't rest until I get my way!"
"I don't have to listen to you. You're not my mom!"
"Sometimes, I wonder if I even want to be friends with you guys."
"All right, this is how it is: I’m better than you."
"I am not a kitty, I am a lion!"
"I'm going to make a video! It's going to go viral!"
"You can't spell 'crap' without 'rap'."
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