102 result(s) for Funny Son Quotes.
"I don't want to sleep like a baby; I want to sleep like my husband."
"I asked my son to unplug the TV. He told me it’s not plugged in to anything."
"My son is a total genius. He said he can’t wait to go to the moon, but he's not going alone—his toys are coming with him."
"Sons are like pets— they need our love and attention but can be really messy!"
"The greatest gift I can give my son is my time; second best is my money which he doesn’t hesitate to ask for!"
"A son is a clever way of having someone to blame for all of your misfortunes."
"Having a son is like having a tornado in your house. You never see it coming, and you are not sure what will be left."
Can't find the quotes you're looking for?
"My son told me he wanted to be a comedian, and I told him to get his material from the things he tells me."
"Raising my son is like trying to fold a fitted sheet. I just give up!"
"Every time I look at my son, I smile because I remember how much I wanted to throw him out a window just seconds before he was born."
"My son has a great sense of humor. He thinks it’s funny when he gets me out of my chair for the umpteenth time."
"I used to think I knew everything until I had a son. Now I know nothing."
"When my son says he’s 'going to bed', he means he’s going to convince me to let him stay up another hour."
"The only thing my son does consistently is forget to flush the toilet."
"My kids ask me all the time, 'Why can’t we have Dad time?' Because I need that time to strategize my next move."
"Sons: they can break your heart, but they can also keep you laughing."
"Raising a son is like training a puppy—lots of patience and rewards."
"I don’t know what I did before my son arrived, but I probably wasn’t laughing as much."
"I always wanted to be a role model for my son; instead, I think I’m just a comic relief."
"Son, don't worry about making mistakes; you'll make plenty without any help from me!"
"My son thinks he’s cooler than me. He keeps telling me that ‘cool’ is not what it used to be."
Can't find the quotes you're looking for?
"Every time I run a father-son errand, I realize it’s a comic strip waiting to happen."
"I thought I was going to teach my son about life, but it turns out he’s teaching me about humor."
"The best thing about having a son is that they always find a way to turn my frown upside down."
"I was hoping for a son to carry on my legacy; instead, I got a comedian."
"My son asked me what a 'dad joke' is, and I said, 'It’s a joke only dads find amusing.'"
"Having a son is like having a noisy set of keys in your pocket that you can never seem to quiet down."
"A son will always be the 'little man' in your life but it won't take long before he becomes the 'big man' in your world."
"Sons are like stars. You may not always see them, but you know they’re always there… making noise!"
"My son may not be a famous musician, but he sure knows how to make some noise!"
"Dear Mom, I'm a bit of a warrior: once I had my chocolate, there was no stopping me."
"When I look at my son, I see a bright future… and a messy room."
"Son: You can make a million decisions in life, but you'll always be my favorite mistake!"
"I told my son he could be anything when he grew up—just to be quiet for five minutes!"
"Being a dad is like being a magician: you make things disappear, especially snacks!"
Can't find the quotes you're looking for?
"Raising a son is like being in a never-ending comedy show with a pint-sized stand-up comic!"
"A son will break your heart, but he will also teach you to laugh in the most unexpected ways."
"The best part about having a son is all the unexpected moments that turn into the funniest stories."
"My son is the reason I wake up every morning... and the reason I need an extra cup of coffee."
"Friends come and go, but a son is forever the impromptu comedian in your life."
"If my son can make me laugh after a long day, he's won the day!"
"The greatest gift I ever received last Christmas was my son's laughter."
"Having a son means having a permanent reminder that the house will never be clean again."
"A son is someone who can make you laugh when you least expect it, especially in a serious moment."
"Boys are like dogs - they will run away with anything shiny and get themselves into trouble."
"A son is a little boy who grows up to be a big man with a bigger sense of humor."
"My son’s superpower is making everything a little more chaotic and a lot more fun."
"If you think being a parent is easy, just try getting a son to put his shoes on in under five minutes."
"Sons: the tiny tornadoes that leave a trail of laughter and chaos wherever they go."
"Every laugh shared with my son is a moment I wouldn’t trade for anything else."
"Never underestimate the power of a son to bring joy, laughter, and spontaneous messes into your life!"
"Being my son is the greatest gift of all. You keep me laughing, you keep me sane, and sometimes you just keep me confused."
"A son can be a real comedian. Forget the stage, he's always ready for a show!"
"If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving isn’t for you. But if you’re my son, you’ll try it anyway!"
"Dad, could you put my name on your will? I'm thinking of becoming a real estate mogul!"
"Sons are like potatoes; they can be a little lumpy, but they definitely bring a smile!"
"I told my son that if he doesn’t make me laugh one day, I would take away his phone… now he’s a stand-up comedian!"
"Children are money in the bank. With my son, I'm cashing in on humor daily!"
"You know your son is a true comedian when he can make you laugh even when you're mad at him!"
"I asked my son if he believes in fate. He said, 'Of course, Dad! That's why I'm always late!'"
"The best part of having a son is that he can always make me laugh at my own dad jokes!"
"When my son says he wants to be a comedian, I remind him he already has a master’s degree in dad jokes."
"A son’s laughter is the best soundtrack for a father’s life!"
"Coaching my son’s little league team has taught me that 90% of coaching is just keeping the kids from telling jokes!"
"If my son wants to be a stand-up comedian, I just hope he's funnier than me!"
"A son is like a rubber band; he stretches you in all kinds of directions while keeping you grounded with laughter!"
"The most important thing a father can give his son is his time, and a good sense of humor!"
"Why did my son put his money in the blender? He wanted to make some liquid assets!"
"Every time my son asks me 'Are we there yet?' during a road trip, I realize I've raised the future stand-up star!"
"Ask any dad about his son, and you’ll hear endless stories filled with laughs and love!"
"A son is a reflection of his father’s jokes, and in my case, that’s a comedy show!"
"When life gives you lemons, give them to your son and watch him turn them into a hilarious anecdote!"
"Every dad needs a son who tests his patience and his funny bone!"
"I thought I had a great sense of humor until my son started telling jokes. Now, I’m just his audience!"
"Life is a series of funny moments, especially when you're the father of a witty son!"
"Fatherhood is like being a comedian; it’s all about timing, delivery, and laughter!"
"Raising a son is like writing a comedy script; you never know what punchline is coming next!"
"I told my son that I was going to take him to the zoo. He said, 'Yay! Can we go to the lions?' I said, 'No, you're going to the zoo to see the lions but you're staying in the car.'"
"My son asked me to stop singing 'Wonderwall' to him. I said maybe."
"When I was a boy, my dad used to tell me, 'You can be anything you want to be, just be careful what you wish for!'"
"Behind every great son, there is a mom who’s pretty sure she’s screwing it up."
"My mom used to tell me that there was no such thing as a silly question. Then I got to school and met my son’s teacher."
"I don't think I've ever met a kid who didn’t think their dad was a superhero until they hit their teenage years."
"Son, I’m not saying you’re slow, but it took you 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes."
"My son is always asking, 'Dad, why do I have to do this?' and I respond, 'Because I love you and want you to live a happy life. Now do your homework!'"
"Kids are like software updates. Whenever you open your mouth, they take forever to install."
"A son is a boy who unsettles his mother, and when he's a teenager, he unsettles himself."
"Raising a son is like planting a seed. You give it water, sunshine, and love, and sometimes wonder why it turned out to be a weed."
"They say parenting is like a walk in the park. Jurassic Park."
"My son told me he wants to be an astronaut. I said, 'Great! Just remember to keep your room clean. Outer space is not an excuse!'"
"Parenting a teenager is like nailing jelly to a tree."
"When you have a son, you realize he will either become your best friend or the biggest headache you will ever know."
"Your son may find his way, but you have to build the road first."
"Son, if you ever get lost, just remember – I’ll be the one screaming your name."
"You know you're a dad when you can drive around for half an hour with a kid screaming in the back, and you just keep asking, 'What did I do wrong?'"
"Raising a son: A lifetime goal of teaching him to tie his shoes before he learns to tie a tie."
"Having a son is like having a second pair of shoes – you will never know where they went once you take them off."
"My son said, 'I don’t want to be like you.' I told him, 'Actually, I was hoping you would just be better.'"
"A son may outgrow your lap, but he will never outgrow your heart."
"They say kids don’t come with a manual. But my son definitely came with a sense of humor."
"My favorite childhood memory is my dad's laugh. He was laughing at my child's homework."
"A son is a guide to the hopes and dreams of a father, even if he can't remember where he left his keys."
Can't find the quotes you're looking for?