126 result(s) for Funny Engineer Quotes.
"I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants."
"To err is human, but to really screw things up you need a computer."
"There are only two kinds of people in the world: those who can extrapolate from incomplete data."
"Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems."
"An engineer is someone who is good with figures, but doesn’t have to be a mathematician."
"I’m an engineer. I deal with facts, not magic."
"The trouble with engineers is that they don’t care if they’re building a better bomb or a better hotel."
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"If engineers built bridges like they build software, the world would no longer be connected."
"A consultant is someone who takes the watch off your wrist and tells you the time."
"Why do engineers confuse Christmas and Halloween? Because Oct 31 = Dec 25."
"Engineering: where the hi-tech and the mundane merge!"
"The best way to predict the future is to invent it."
"In engineering, the truth is always the truth, no matter how much you don’t want to hear it."
"Computers are like air conditioners; they stop working properly if you open windows."
"An engineer is someone who makes the world a better place, by building things that don’t work!"
"There are three types of people in the world: Those who can count and those who can't."
"Engineering: The art of making things work more efficiently, while risking an unexpected explosion."
"Never trust an atom; they make up everything."
"The day I stop learning will be the day I start providing engineering services."
"What is the difference between a bad golfer and a bad engineer? A bad golfer takes seven strokes to get into the hole; a bad engineer takes six."
"If you think that the engineers are bad, you should meet their software."
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"Engineering is the only profession that makes an entire planet invisible."
"Without engineers, the world would be a dull place; we just need to remember to laugh sometimes!"
"Communication is key, but with engineers, it's all about the data."
"Don’t worry if plan A doesn’t work; there are 25 more letters in the alphabet."
"The problem with troubleshooting is that trouble shoots back."
"Engineering is like riding a bike. Except the bike is on fire, you're on fire, everything is on fire, and you're in hell."
"To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be."
"I am an engineer, I build dragons."
"In a perfect world, the mathematicians would be the poets, the lawyers would be the engineers, and the engineers would be the rock stars."
"If engineers were to be called artists, then creativity in engineering lies not in the beauty of their designs, but in the success of their functions."
"Why did the software engineer go broke? He lost his domain in a bet!"
"An engineer is someone who washes his hands before going to the bathroom."
"The great thing about being an engineer is that you can solve problems; the bad thing is that you create them first."
"There are two ways to make a small fortune in engineering: Start with a large fortune and get fired from your job."
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"I'm an engineer, not a magician. I can't make your dreams come true, but I can make them more complicated."
"In engineering, you need to find a balance between creativity and logic. Unless it breaks - then it's just creativity."
"Engineers always find a way – to avoid work!"
"An engineer's problem is that they often think of parts and sometimes forget the whole."
"There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary and those who don't."
"An engineer is someone who can create a solution for any problem, unless that problem is socializing."
"Engineering: Where the glass is neither half full nor half empty; it is merely twice as large as needed."
"Why don’t engineers play hide and seek? Because good luck hiding when they never stop thinking about the most efficient hiding spot!"
"What do you call an educated engineer? A mechanic."
"An engineer’s first law: If it ain't broke, fix it until it is!"
"Engineering is one of the few professions that can combine both creativity and logic in a beautiful mess."
"How do engineers resolve disputes? With lots of diagrams and patience."
"What’s an engineer's favorite type of music? Heavy metal, it's all about the compression."
"If at first you don’t succeed; call it version 1.0."
"Why did the computer engineer leave the restaurant? They couldn't find the drive-thru."
"An engineer is someone who can do for a dime what any fool can do for a dollar."
"The first rule of engineering is to make the best of the mistakes you make."
"If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done."
"A good engineer thinks in reverse and asks himself about the stylistic effects of the components and the system as a whole."
"To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer."
"Engineering is the art of doing for a dime what any fool can do for a dollar."
"There are three kinds of engineers: those who can count and those who can’t."
"A software engineer is a machine that turns coffee into code."
"In engineering, you can’t fight science; you can only understand it and learn from it."
"The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces."
"If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization."
"Any engineer can tell you if it’s a good idea, but only a great engineer can tell you why it’s not."
"I think the best way to make a strong impression in engineering is to make things that work faster and better than anything else."
"Engineering: where the grandiosity of the project is matched only by the shortness of the timeline."
"Then there’s the chance that it will actually work. That’s why we’d better not tell anybody!"
"In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity—especially for engineers."
"A good engineer is not an engineer who knows how a car works; it’s an engineer who can fix it when it doesn’t work."
"Engineering is the only profession that creates an event that can explode without warning."
"Engineering is the art of organizing, directing, and carrying out a project that will take more time than planned, cost more than budgeted, and still be behind schedule."
"When you’re an engineer, failure is always an option. Just not a very good one."
"Engineers are just like anybody else; they love to have somebody look and say, 'Good job!'"
"It's not that I am so smart, it's just that I stay with problems longer—especially as an engineer."
"As an engineer, I can’t fix your broken heart, but I can definitely break it down into simpler components."
"I've never met a hardware engineer who didn't have a great excuse for something that was broken."
"Optimism is an occupational hazard of engineering; engineering is about problem-solving, and thus hope."
"An engineer is someone who does precision guesswork based on unreliable data provided by those of questionable knowledge."
"Engineering is the art of solving problems with creativity and precision; in other words, it’s just like magic, but with less rabbits."
"We are all born with a unique knowledge of one thing: how to make things break."
"To an engineer, the perfect system is one that can’t be broken."
"Engineering: where the ‘E’ is silent and the ‘gineering’ is a bit of a stretch."
"If you think engineers are boring, wait until you hear them talk about their favorite decimals."
"The only thing more dangerous than an engineer with a pencil is an engineer with a pen."
"I had a nightmare that I was stuck on an infinite loop, and I couldn't break out of it. Then I woke up and realized I was an engineer."
"Electrical engineers like to make light of things, but it's really just a watt of fun."
"Why did the engineer cross the road? Because that was the path of least resistance."
"Engineering is not about perfect solutions, it’s about imperfect solutions that work."
"Engineers: because even God had to practice before creating the world."
"If it’s not broken, you’re not going fast enough. – Engineers"
"Without engineers, the world would be a lot less comfortable and a lot more dangerous."
"Debugging: Being the detective in a crime movie where you are also the murderer."
"If it were easy, they would call it a ‘designer’ instead of an engineer."
"An engineer's life is full of deadlines, and breaking them is just part of the game."
"Engineering: it’s like riding a bike. Except the bike is on fire, you’re on fire, everything is on fire, and you’re in hell."
"Be an engineer – they fix their mistakes with more hardware."
"The world is full of barriers in the way of progress, and engineers are the ones who are always trying to sneak around them."
"Engineers may not always know what they're doing, but at least they know how to do it loudly."
"It’s not that engineers are antisocial; it’s just that they prefer solving equations in solitude."
"What do you call an engineer who doesn’t get their work done? Unemployed."
"An engineer's desk is a sacred place, protected by the might of the ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign."
"When you have an engineer on your team, you might as well be prepared for a lot of ‘what if’ scenarios."
"Why are engineers like comedians? They always need a punchline…and a good backup plan."
"I was an engineer for a while. That’s like a mathematician without a sense of humor."
"You know you’re an engineer when you have no life and you can’t get out of it."
"The engineer’s mind is a logical mind, but it also has a funny bone."
"If a tree falls in the woods and nobody is around to hear it, does it make a sound? Engineers say no, because they haven’t done the math."
"Engineers are people who pass as humans at work."
"An engineer is someone who is good at solving problems you didn’t know you had in ways you can’t understand."
"In engineering, every time you make a mistake, it’s a real life ‘Oops’ moment."
"Engineering: where ugly math and ugly science meet."
"Behind every great engineer is a trail of other engineers who had to fix their mistakes."
"The difference between a kid and an engineer is that the kid has fun playing with toys, while the engineer figures out how to make them work."
"To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, it is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice the size it needs to be."
"Engineers don’t just tinker. They solve problems with style."
"Why did the engineer cross the road? To hold the chicken’s hand, because he calculated it would be safer."
"Engineers have a lot of friends. They just don’t look human, or breathe."
"An engineer's mind is like a steel trap but with too many locks."
"There are two types of engineers: those who fix things that aren't broken and those who break things that are fixed."
"Every engineer is a storyteller; they just use graphs instead of words."
"If engineers were put in charge of the Titanic, it would have been a successful iceberg dodge."
"An engineer’s motto: Debugging is like being the detective in a crime movie where you’re also the murderer."
"I have enough faith in engineering to believe that if we ever met aliens, they would be engineers too."
"An engineer has a solution to any problem, except for how to explain it to the non-engineers."
"What do you call an engineer who can’t solve problems? Unemployed."
"Engineering: the art of making memories out of mistakes."
"Why do engineers confuse Halloween and Christmas? Because Oct 31 = Dec 25."
"An engineer's way of thinking is different; they look at the world with a slightly warped lens, often leading to hilariously unorthodox solutions."
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