124 result(s) for Funny Quotes About Farming.
"My tractor's in my front yard, my truck is right beside it, and the neighbors are thinking 'What the heck are they doing?'"
"If you think farming is easy, you probably have never done it."
"I farmed all my life, and all I ever got was this lousy T-shirt—and a splendid sense of humor."
"Farming: the one place where you can be totally out of your field and still be respected."
"It takes a lot of skill to be a farmer, but it takes even more skill to admit that the cows are smarter than you."
"Why do farmers make great friends? Because they always know how to 'harvest' good times!"
"I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised, just like my crops last summer!"
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"The farmers in Europe are still struggling to get their crops in; they must have a lot of corn-fusion."
"To be a farmer’s daughter is no easy task. You significantly reduce your chances of dating!"
"I tried to farm but I just couldn’t do it; the seeds just wouldn't take root in my sense of humor!"
"Cows don’t have a lot of time for personal grooming. They have to 'moo-ve' on with their day!"
"In farming, every day is a little different. Some days are plowing through, others are just a complete 'crop-out.'"
"Why do potatoes make good detectives? They keep their eyes peeled!"
"Farmers know they’re in trouble when they have to start counting cows to sleep!"
"Grass isn't always greener on the other side; sometimes it's just the same old cow-pasture!"
"Agriculture: where the only thing that gets plowed more than the fields are the farmers’ jokes."
"Farmers don’t just retire; they simply go to seed!"
"Life is like a field; sometimes you're planting the seeds, and sometimes you’re frustrated looking for the weeds!"
"You know you're a farmer when your idea of a day off is just plowing a different field!"
"The best time to plant a tree was twenty years ago. The second best time is now. Unless you're a farmer; then it's probably yesterday!"
"What did the farmer say after he lost his tractor? Where’s my tractor?"
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"If at first, you don’t succeed, try doing it the way your mother told you to do it in the first place - especially on the farm!"
"You can take the farmer out of the farm, but you cannot take the farm out of the farmer; they’ll always know how to milk the situation!"
"Before you criticize a farmer, walk a mile in his Yeezys. Then you can criticize him, and you’ll look good doing it!"
"The farmer allows walkers across the field, but the'hog'walker is not welcome."
"I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants."
"Agriculture: An outdated technological and philosophical approach to producing food."
"Why did the farmer plant a seed in the computer? He wanted to grow a motherboard!"
"A good day on the farm is when you get to take a nice, long tractor ride."
"Don't be afraid to take big steps. You can't cross a chasm in two small jumps."
"I love to farm. It ain't just what I do; it's what I am."
"How do you know the farmer is tired? Because he’s up to his knees in hay!"
"I thought I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure."
"Farmers work hard to turn sow's ears into silk purses!"
"Farming is the only profession that is not a 'job', it is a 'lifestyle'."
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"To be a farmer is to be an artist and a scientist."
"You know you're a farmer when you can fix a flat tire with a piece of hay and a little bit of chewing gum."
"You can take the boy out of the farm, but you can't take the farm out of the boy."
"Farming: The only profession where you get up at daylight, work all day, and end the day with mud on your shoes!"
"A farmer's best friend is a good tractor — and a sense of humor!"
"The most difficult part of gardening is when you’re trying to figure out whether to water the plants or your neighbors."
"When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. When life gives you tomatoes, make salsa!"
"Farmers have the best digging tools: a sense of humor and a spade."
"There's no business like grow business."
"A farmer's life is full of surprises – most of them in the shape of animals!"
"I tried to start a landscaping business, but I couldn’t seem to get it off the ground."
"Why did the farmer bring a ladder to the market? He wanted to sell high-quality produce!"
"If you want to know how many bugs there are, ask a farmer – he has them all in his tractor!"
"I’d farm all the time if I could just figure out how to do it on a computer."
"Agriculture: Where the trick is to grow your own food before it grows you."
"In farming, there’s nothing better than a good crop. Unless it’s a funny crop! Like broccoli, which always gets the best reactions."
"If you’ve got a hoe, it’s time to hoe it like it’s your job!"
"The farmer isn’t the one who gets planted; he plants things!"
"Farmers have a way of pulling food right out of the ground. If only they could pull their relatives out too!"
"It’s important to have a good sense of humor on the farm, particularly at harvest time when the crops are finally ‘ripe’ for the picking!"
"Why did the farmer plant a seed in the ground? He desired a plant-tastic outcome!"
"We’ve got crops and they’re in the field; we’ve got work and we’re trying really hard not to yield!"
"Farming is like a relationship: You can plan for the future, but you still have to deal with stubborn weeds!"
"When the farmer gets a flat tire, do they call it a ‘tractor-ption’?"
"Without agriculture, we would just be gathering around a campfire and debating who has the best potato!"
"The only thing dirtier than a farmer’s boots is his humor!"
"You can’t make everyone happy; you’re not a tractor!"
"Farmers are the hands that feed us and the hearts that make sure it’s all funny!"
"If you think being a farming comedian is easy, you’re just ‘dirt’ wrong!"
"Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose!"
"Farming is not just a job; it’s a lifestyle — and sometimes a comedy act!"
"I asked the farmer how he stayed in shape. He said he ‘harvested’ it!"
"The only thing bigger than my tank is my haywire jokes!"
"What do farmers do when they want to socialize? They go to the ‘corn-ference’!"
"Farming is a way of life, and sometimes that life is downright hilarious!"
"If you want to guarantee laughter, just add fertilizer — it really works wonders!"
"What did the corn say to the farmer? 'I'm all ears!'"
"Cows don’t need smartphones; they’ve got moo-tivation!"
"Farming is a profession of hope."
"If farmers are not the most useful citizens, then I don’t know who is. They’re the only people who can make their own food!"
"Agriculture is the most healthful, most useful, and most noble employment of man."
"The only thing that separates us from the animals is our ability to accessorize."
"Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups."
"I once heard a farmer say he could tell what the weather would be like just by looking at his cows. You know what? It’s true. I can’t wait for my cows to give me the lottery numbers."
"Farming looks mighty easy when your plow is a pencil and you're a thousand miles from the corn field."
"Why did the farmer win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!"
"I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug."
"A farmer's best friend is the sun, but he should not forget his raincoat."
"Corn: the only thing that grows in the dark."
"A good friend will come and bail you out of jail, but a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun!'"
"You can’t get 'hay' while the sun shines without a tractor!"
"Sometimes I tell my cows to just chill out; they’re always so mooooody."
"Farmers don’t make money; they make food. That’s pretty funny, don’t you think?"
"If you think you’re too small to be effective, you’ve never been in bed with a mosquito."
"I asked my wife to let me know the next time she has an orgasm. She said she doesn’t like to bother me when I’m at work."
"A cow’s favorite day? Moo Year’s Day!"
"The farmer’s life: You harvest what you sow, sometimes it's just weeds."
"I used to be a banker, but I lost interest."
"Life is what happens when you are busy making other plans – especially on a farm!"
"The farmer’s children are like a field: they need to be tended with care."
"Farming is the only business I know of that both pays and doesn’t pay the same day."
"Taking a break is like a farmer putting on his work boots; it just makes the work easier."
"I’d love to have a farm. Just want to be in charge of the crops. The cows can figure out their own stuff."
"Why did the farmer give up drinking? Because it was ruining his crop!"
"I've got a farm, which is not a big deal. Yes, you've got to put the 'fun' in 'fungus.'"
"You know you're a farmer when you get up at the crack of dawn, and go to bed at the crack of dusk."
"I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised."
"Farmers are the only people who are blissfully unaware of the seagulls and their intentions."
"Planting a garden is like writing a love letter: you put your heart into it, and you hope it blooms."
"The farmer's wife is an expert at making breakfast – a bowl of cornflakes sprinkled with sarcasm."
"Agriculturalists understand the value of good communication...they know how to tell their crops to grow!"
"To be a good farmer you need a lot of patience, and a new tractor doesn't hurt either."
"If cows could laugh, they’d probably laugh at the farmer’s awful jokes."
"Why did the chicken join a band? Because it had the drumsticks!"
"You know you're a farmer when you spend more on the feed than your food!"
"Why don’t cows have money? Because the farmers milk them dry!"
"Farming: Where you get up before sunrise to complain about the weather all day."
"I consider my farm a locker room for crops; they grow stronger under pressure!"
"When the farmer told his wife he was going to plant potatoes, she said he'd better make them crispy!"
"If you want to grow a healthy crop, you have to weed out the bad jokes first!"
"Farming is one of the few professions that bring people together… to complain about the price of fertilizer."
"A farmer's favorite exercise is "
"Why did the farmer get a ticket? Because he was caught driving without a 'cowl'!"
"For farmers, every problem can be solved with three things: willpower, a tractor, and duct tape!"
"Farming: The only job that takes 12 hours a day and makes you feel zero dollars an hour."
"Why was the farmer upset? Because he couldn't find his 'corn-tact'!"
"Farmers are always positive...they just can't see the downside of growing veggies!"
"Crops are like people; they need love, water, and the occasional 'mean' look to thrive!"
"Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!"
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