116 result(s) for Sarcastic Quotes About Work.
"The only thing worse than being in a job you hate is being in a job you hate and not getting paid for it."
"I can’t wait to be on the other side of this Zoom call, pretending to be working."
"I didn’t choose the thug life; the thug life chose me. But seriously, it’s just work."
"I used to love my job as a programmer until I realized I was just a code monkey, and nobody likes a monkey."
"I think I need a raise. Well, not a raise, maybe just a new job title like 'Chief Napping Officer.'"
"I want to be a millionaire just like my dad. He always says, 'It’s easier to be rich than to work hard.'"
"If I won the lottery, I would still be the first one to quit. But I would be unbothered."
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"The closest I ever got to a promotion at my last job was being called 'that guy who never pays attention in meetings.'"
"I told my boss three companies were after me, and I didn’t want to work for either."
"The best part of my job is that I can leave it behind me every time I walk out the door."
"They say money talks, but mine just waves goodbye."
"I enjoy working in my office alone. Everyone else makes me uncomfortable."
"The first five days after the weekend are the hardest."
"I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours."
"If at first, you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you."
"I'm not lazy; I'm on energy-saving mode."
"I'm multitasking: I can listen, ignore, and forget at the same time."
"I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off."
"There's no I in team, but there is a 'me'."
"You know you're in trouble when you can’t even remember what you've done this week."
"Work harder, not smarter, is what my boss tells me while he avoids working altogether."
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"I finally figured out the only reason to go to work is to pay for the stuff you buy to keep from going to work."
"Monday is a reminder that my coffee needs coffee."
"I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early."
"Hard work never killed anyone, but why take the chance?"
"If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn't have a job if he was any smarter."
"I can’t tell you how much I love my job. It’s the work I hate."
"I’m not saying I hate my job, but I’d unplug my life support to charge my phone."
"It's not that I'm so smart, it's just that I stay with problems longer."
"I put my heart and soul into my work, and have lost my mind in the process."
"I called in sick to work today. I just couldn’t find a reason to go."
"I'm at work, but I'm hardly working."
"The future is uncertain, but the end is always near."
"People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day."
"I work really hard to just be okay at my job."
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"I told my boss I needed a raise. He gave me a sandwich."
"Nothing ruins your Friday like realizing it’s only Wednesday."
"Work harder, not smarter. That way, your boss will have to notice you."
"I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode."
"Why does work have to be so much work?"
"I don’t always have my work done on time, but when I do, I still hate it."
"Work is just a means to an end. Unfortunately, that end is more work."
"Behind every successful person is a substantial amount of coffee."
"I can't believe I get paid to do this. Oh wait, yes I can."
"If Monday had a face, I would kiss it."
"The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about."
"Nothing is impossible for the person who doesn’t have to do it."
"Why is Monday so far from Friday, but Friday is so close to Monday?"
"I work well under pressure... I work really well under pressure, especially when there’s a deadline."
"I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they're flashing in your rearview mirror."
"I can't wait to retire so I can stop doing all this work."
"An office is a place where you can spend eight hours a day procrastinating, surrounded by other procrastinators."
"I told my boss I needed a raise. He told me all it takes is a little hard work. I told him I’ve been working hard for years without a raise."
"My job is secure. No one else wants it!"
"I started out with nothing. I still have most of it."
"If at first you don’t succeed, redefine success."
"You don’t have to be crazy to work here; we’ll train you."
"My boss says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We’ll see about that."
"It’s not that I’m so smart, it’s just that I stay with problems longer."
"I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already."
"The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing."
"Every time I think I’m getting old, I remember the voices in my head that tell me I’m younger than I am."
"There’s no 'I' in team, but there’s a 'me' if you look hard enough."
"I have a job where I can work hundreds of hours of overtime for absolutely no money."
"I don’t always lose my phone, but when I do, it’s either on silent or it’s in the meeting."
"I can’t believe I still have to give people my resume in 2023. Don’t they have Google?"
"I always give 100% at work. I mean, if you divide 50% for the job and 50% for the people, that's 100%, right?"
"I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing!"
"I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by."
"Hard work was a big part of my success. And I work hard at hardly working."
"If I had a dollar for every time I got distracted at work, I wish I had a dollar."
"I am so glad we had this time together, just to have a laugh or sing a song. Seems we just get started and before you know it, comes the time we have to say, 'So long!'"
"I told my boss that three employees were late to work today. He said, 'Maybe they have a good country song on their hands.'"
"The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces."
"My boss told me to have a good day... so I went home."
"I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right."
"The best part about working remotely is that no one knows when I'm slacking off."
"I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place."
"If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you."
"I hate work. I just want to go to my favorite place... that’s ‘back to bed.’"
"I'm not lazy, I'm on energy-saving mode."
"My work is like a game of whack-a-mole, where every time I think I’ve finished, something else pops up!"
"You don’t have to be crazy to work here. We’ll train you."
"If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?"
"I’m multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time."
"To be successful, you have to have your heart in your business, and your business in your heart. Just kidding. I wish it was that simple."
"Just because I’m a procrastinator doesn’t mean I’m not working."
"Too many people miss the silver lining because they’re expecting gold."
"The only thing worse than being busy is not being busy."
"I’ll be a millionaire before I’m 40 — as long as I can manage to keep my job until then!"
"We’re all in this together... except for you. You can leave anytime."
"Procrastinate now, don’t put it off."
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by."
"Hard work often pays off after time, but laziness always pays off now."
"The only reason for time is so that everything doesn’t happen at once."
"I find my job challenging, but the challenge is to stay awake during meetings."
"The best part of my job is that I have the opportunity to do the same things over and over again."
"I can’t believe I used to work for a living. What was I thinking?"
"I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure."
"The only thing worse than being overworked is being underworked."
"If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter."
"I didn't get where I am today by worrying about how I'd feel about tomorrow."
"Work is the easiest thing in the world. It is so easy that we are able to do it all the time, without learning how."
"I'm convinced that all the world’s problems can be solved by a little work, a little savvy, and a whole lot of sarcasm."
"To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer."
"My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch... I call it lunch."
"If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you."
"It’s not the people who are trying to be a leader; it’s the people who are trying to lead that are the problem."
"There’s no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting."
"In the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years. Unless you're at work, then it’s definitely the years."
"I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode."
"Nothing motivates me more than a ridiculous deadline."
"I have a simple philosophy. Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. Scratch where it itches."
"I admire people who can pull off a regular job. My hat’s off to them, on the way to the unemployment office."
"My boss is like a software update. Whenever I see him, I think, ‘Not now.’"
"Monday is a reminder that even the strongest caffeine can't fix some days."
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