106 result(s) for Funny Wine Quotes.
"I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it. Then I drink wine."
"I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: That she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender."
"Sipping on some wine and pretending I’m fancy!"
"Red wine is like blood. It’s good for the heart."
"Wine: because no great story ever started with salad."
"When in doubt, pinky out!"
"Let’s have wine! That’s what the ladies call ‘cheers’."
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"I drink wine to forget. Unfortunately, I forget to stop drinking wine."
"I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me."
"Wine improves with age. The older I get, the better I like it."
"Wine makes daily living easier, less hurried, with fewer tensions and more tolerance."
"My doctor told me to watch my drinking, so now I drink in front of a mirror."
"If it weren’t for grapes, we wouldn’t have wine."
"I'm just a girl, standing in front of a salad, asking it to be a donut... and a bottle of wine."
"There’s no such thing as too much wine, only not enough glasses."
"The answer may not lie in the stars, but it surely is at the bottom of a wine glass."
"Wine and friends are a great blend."
"Let’s get together and drink some wine. Love you all!"
"Roses are red, violets are fine, I’m a teetotaler, but I’ll drink wine."
"Wine not only lifts my spirits; often, it lowers my cholesterol."
"I drink wine because I don’t like to keep things bottled up."
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"There are two kinds of people in the world: those who love wine and those who are wrong."
"In wine, there's truth; in water, there’s bacteria."
"I’m on wine and carbs. Did I mention I’m on a wine and carb diet?"
"Wine is the answer. What was the question?"
"A bottle of wine begs to be shared; I have never met a miserable person who was drinking a glass of wine."
"I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food."
"The only thing I can see is my wine glass getting empty."
"Sipping is the new jogging."
"The secret to enjoying wine is to drink it out of a coffee mug."
"It's not drinking alone if your cat is home."
"Aging is like wine. The older I get, the better I become. Except when I get old."
"I wine, because I don’t want to be a whiner."
"Wine improves with age. I improve with wine."
"Good friends and good wine, they are both hard to find."
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"Wine: because no great story ever started with a salad."
"I wish I had a bottle of wine for every time I felt overwhelmed. I’d be a millionaire by now."
"I feel sorry for people who don’t drink; when they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day."
"Drinking wine is a beautiful thing to be happy about."
"Let’s wine about it!"
"I can’t adult today. I’m going to wine."
"A glass of wine a day keeps the doctor away. Just kidding, it’s more like two!"
"If you can’t drink and laugh at the same time, you’re doing it wrong."
"A glass of wine a day keeps the doctor away. At least, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it."
"In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria."
"What wine goes with Captain Crunch?"
"I have a great relationship with wine. We act like we’re in love."
"The only thing better than a glass of wine is another glass of wine."
"Wine is like duct tape. It fixes everything."
"I follow my heart... and it usually leads me to the fridge."
"There’s nothing a little wine can’t fix. Except a hangover."
"I only drink to make other people interesting."
"Wine is the most healthful and most hygienic of beverages."
"I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And then find someone whose life has given them vodka and have a party."
"When I drink alcohol I can see the world better... until it gets really fuzzy."
"Sometimes I wonder if I’m on a wine diet: I just wait for dinner to come, so I can drink a full bottle while I wait."
"An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools."
"Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy."
"If you can’t remember my name, just say ‘wine’ and I’ll turn around."
"The best wines are the ones we drink with friends."
"There are only two things a man wants in life: a good woman and a good wine – in that order."
"I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it. And I drink wine."
"If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library. If you want to get drunk, go to a wine tasting."
"Wine flies when you're having fun."
"A meal without wine is called breakfast."
"The older I get, the better I was. And the more I drink wine."
"Wine: because no great story ever started with someone eating a salad."
"There are those who love to get drunk, and those who love to get sober. I'm in the first group – especially if there’s wine involved."
"I love everything about wine. I just hate when the bottle is empty."
"I’m not really a wine snob, I’ll drink anything that comes in a bottle with a cork."
"In wine, there's truth."
"Red, red wine, you make me feel so fine…"
"I’d rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy."
"A glass of wine a day keeps the doctor away."
"Wine has been around for thousands of years, and it still makes you feel like a million bucks."
"I’m not drinking wine; I’m just tasting it in case it has gone bad!"
"To be a successful wine connoisseur, you must first experience the world like a poet."
"What happens at the wine tasting stays at the wine tasting."
"Wine improves with age; the older I get, the better I like it."
"Sip happens; it’s time to wine down."
"Wine is sunlight, held together by water."
"I drink wine because I don't like to keep things bottled up."
"I'm on step three of a twelve-step program: I take a step, and then I take another step to the wine."
"A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world."
"Age and glasses of wine should never be counted."
"Wine flies when you’re having fun!"
"In wine, there is truth. In water, there is bacteria."
"The best wine is that which is most enjoyable."
"Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy."
"I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food."
"There’s nothing like a good glass of wine to start a night of exploring the world's best delivery options."
"I like my wine like I like my women: aged to perfection."
"I vineyard a little too much."
"Wine is my favorite accessory."
"Wine not?"
"Good wine is a good familiar creature if it be well used."
"Life is too short to drink bad wine."
"I drink to make other people more interesting."
"Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of wine."
"If I told you the truth about wine, you wouldn’t believe me..."
"Sip happens. It’s okay to wine about it."
"There’s always time for a glass of wine."
"Wine is the only artwork you can drink."
"Deciding not to drink is like deciding not to get a haircut; strange things happen to your mind."
"Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right!"
"Wine is the answer. I don’t remember the question."
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