123 result(s) for Funny Hunting Quotes.
"I hunt because I have a terrible aim."
"The only thing that can stop a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun. Or a big enough bottle of bourbon."
"Hunting is a way of life — if you can't laugh while doing it, you're doing it wrong."
"My best hunting buddy is my wife. She always gives me the best excuses to come home empty-handed."
"A hunter never pleads guilty."
"When you’re hunting, you always say, ‘Where did that deer go?’ But why? Why does he have to go anywhere?"
"Hunting: the art of getting up at 4 AM to go sit in the woods."
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"The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."
"I don't hunt for sport; I hunt for the stories I tell my friends."
"If at first you don’t succeed, try doing it the way your father told you."
"Hunting: where the only thing you can’t shoot is the breeze."
"Some pursue happiness, others create it... while hunting, I just take pictures."
"You know you’re a hunter when your favorite season is ‘hunting season’, regardless of the weather."
"Antlers are a man’s best friend... unless they’re attached to the wrong deer."
"Hunting: where men go to prove they can go alone and return home empty-handed."
"The best part about hunting is you can say, ‘I’m just out getting food’ as an excuse to not do chores."
"Never let your kids take a nap; I would rather have them hunting than ruining my day."
"Why do ducks have feathers? To cover their butt quacks."
"The worst day hunting still beats the best day at work."
"Hunting is just another way of finding out where all the good stories are."
"If you think deer are dumb, just wait till you see me try to catch one."
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"Anyone who says that money can’t buy happiness hasn’t bought hunting gear."
"I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug."
"There’s no hunting like the hunting of man, and those who have hunted armed men long enough and liked it never care for anything else thereafter."
"I think the best way to keep kids out of bad activities is to keep them interested in good activities, including hunting."
"The only time I set the bar low is for limbo."
"I don't hunt because I want to; I hunt because I have to. It's just the way I was raised."
"Hunting is a lot like marriage – it's not about the kill, but the experience."
"If you're not supposed to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?"
"A bad day of hunting is better than a good day at the office."
"When a hunter is in a hurry, the game will run away from him."
"The only time a hunter should be in a hurry is when he’s armed."
"I was in the woods hunting for deer, and I thought I saw a deer, but it turned out to be a hunter in a deer costume."
"You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy a hunting license, and that’s pretty close."
"Hunting: the only sport where you can get both a headache and a trophy."
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"A hunting license is a certificate that says you can kill something. Not that you are good at it."
"The best part about hunting is the stories you tell and the memories you make– no matter if you get anything or not!"
"Why do hunters like the woods? Because they can get lost long enough for others to find them and help them out!"
"I have a friend who is a hunter. You could say he’s a bit edgy."
"Hunting isn’t a hobby; it’s a way of life. Unless you don’t get anything, then it’s a really expensive hobby."
"I'd rather sit in a tree stand thinking about God than sit in church thinking about hunting."
"It’s called hunting, not shopping."
"Be careful about spelling hunting backwards."
"Hunting is simply a game of patience; the more you wait, the harder they will come to you."
"If I think too much about hunting, I might just forget to pack snacks."
"Two wrongs don't make a right, but three rights make a left – except while hunting!"
"The great thing about hunting is that it gives you the excuse to get up early in the morning and enjoy the outdoors."
"Hunting adds excitement to life in a way that few other things can."
"Hunting is a matter of attitude. Every time I hunt I have a great time—that's the reason I hunt!"
"The best way to hunt is to simply be happy in what you are doing."
"If you can sit still and not move for three days, you're a hunter. If you can sit still and not move for three days even when the turkeys are gobbling, you're a turkey hunter!"
"I love to hunt. I especially love to hunt people. I can see how they live, and it helps me as a writer."
"You can't put a limit on anything. The more you dream, the farther you get."
"A hunter is a hunter, no matter what the game. They've got to be smarter than a deer and quicker than a hawk."
"There are two kinds of hunters: those who hunt for meat and those who hunt for horns. The hunters for horns hunt squirrels!"
"The only thing more dangerous than a hunter is a hungry one."
"I like to hunt. I mean, you’re out there with the wind in your face, the sun on your back, and the sound of bird calls in your ears. You know, just as long as there’s a taco truck nearby."
"Hunting: the only sport where you can be labeled 'in season' without having a license!"
"The two most dangerous places are the mind of a hunter and the heart of an animal."
"Hunting is not about the kill; it’s about the thrill. And the thrill is often acquired from telling the most outrageous tales."
"I told my wife that I was going hunting for deer. She said, 'Don't forget your bra!'"
"Nothing makes a woman as beautiful as the mountains, unless those mountains have a hunting lodge."
"Hunting is like a marriage: most successful when both partners agree on the terms!"
"I'm not a bad shot; I just have a very limited idea of what a good shot is."
"I always remember: the deer are the ultimate survivors. They can hide long enough to ponder their next move!"
"For true hunters, the trophy is secondary to the thrill of the chase."
"Why did the hunter bring a ladder? Because he wanted to reach new heights in hunting!"
"You know what smells really bad? Wild turkey that's been in the back of your truck for three days!"
"I went out for a few deer, but only came back with a healthy dose of humility!"
"Behind every great hunter is a trail of stories more valuable than the game."
"An amateur hunter remembers a trophy; a seasoned hunter remembers the fun!"
"Hunting is a lot like golf. You spend four hours chasing around a little ball, hoping to put it into a hole. Only in hunting, you can eat your ball."
"If I quit hunting, I'd probably get shoed by my wife. After all, she has to pay for all my blunders!"
"I spend more time hunting down the duck I shot than the deer I shot."
"The only reason I ever played golf in the first place was so I could afford to hunt and fish."
"There’s a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot."
"I never miss a chance to have a good time, and hunting is one of those ways to do it."
"Hunting is a way of life, and that life consists mainly of being in some place where the sun shines and the hunting is good."
"I'm not a great hunter. I usually look more like a lost backpacker than a experienced hunter."
"I went hunting with a buddy on opening day, and we didn't bag a single bird. I told my buddy that my luck was about to change, then I tripped over the dog."
"My favorite outdoor activity is catching snakes, but my injury rate is much higher when I'm hunting them."
"The harshest critics tend to be people who have never tried it themselves. Those are the ones who have never sat in a deer blind."
"I fished all my life, and I've been hunting deer for a long time. I can honestly say I've never left empty-handed, but I have left with a fish story."
"The hunter and the hunted, we're all just part of the food chain."
"I'd rather be hunting than working, unless it’s a really bad day to be outside."
"No one ever wants to hear about the one that got away unless they're in a group of hunters telling fish tales."
"The best hunt is the one I’m currently on, even if it’s just a quest for the perfect snack."
"When in doubt, hunt it out."
"I've decided my favorite outdoor activity is sitting on my porch watching the squirrels steal my birdseed."
"The woods are full of game, and I know at least one of them is going to laugh at me."
"Hunting: A way to remain socially engaged while still pretending to be alone."
"A bad day of hunting beats a good day of work. Unless you’re the one stuck in the office answering calls."
"If you can't hunt with the best, you might as well try hiding and see what happens!"
"I’m not saying I’m the worst hunter, but I have had birds land on my head instead of the ones I was aiming for."
"Hunting isn’t just about the animals; it’s about time spent sharing stories, and laughing at someone else’s failures."
"Every time I miss my shot, I tell myself that I'm saving those deer for next year."
"Hunting is not a sport. In a sport, both sides should know they're in the game."
"The only thing worse than a bad day hunting is a bad day working."
"If I had a gun for every time I heard a hunter say, 'I saw a big one,' I would already be out of ammo."
"I love hunting. It's not the kill that drives me—it’s the thrill of the hunt, and the taste of the bacon."
"The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity. But you’re not stupid if you go hunting!"
"Hunting: the only activity where you can be proud of your 'wounded pride'."
"Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?"
"There are two phases of a hunt: the part where you’re really pumped and the part where you’re really lost."
"My favorite outdoor activity is going back inside."
"A bad day hunting still beats a good day at the office."
"You know you’re a hunter when you have to call in sick to work after a long weekend."
"I always carry a gun in case I have to claim self-defense against my own hunting skills."
"I don't always hunt, but when I do, I prefer not to talk about it."
"It’s called hunting, not killing. That’s why I brought my camera!"
"Hunting is like a bicycle race. You always finish in the dust."
"The only time I set the woods on fire is when I can’t find the matches."
"What’s the difference between a hunter and a fisherman? A hunter knows what he’s doing, and a fisherman thinks he knows what he’s doing!"
"I told my wife I took up hunting, and now she’s looking for a new house."
"If you want to be a successful hunter, surround yourself with people who remind you to be quiet."
"I suppress my hunting experiences like I suppress my emotions—until I’m back in the woods."
"I have a hunting license; I need to use it for all the hunting I do in the kitchen."
"Why do we hunt? For the thrill of the chase… and to get out of doing chores!"
"During hunting season, my favorite breakfast is 'bacon and regrets.'"
"I used to hunt for trophies, now I hunt for real estate!"
"If I had a dime for every deer I missed, I would be a rich hunter!"
"The secret to success in hunting is to aim carefully—not just at your target, but at your excuses!"
"A successful hunter leaves no trace except for his bad jokes."
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